Somebody Like Us
by FloatingAmoeba
Summary: Sequel to 'Just Like This'. Old faces, new faces, unwanted faces of both kinds...With a baby on the way and a stubborn Lilly refusing to take it easy, it's not going to be an easy ride. Established Lilly/Scotty, slight Kat/Vera. Third part of the trilogy.
1. I Pledge Alliegance

A/N **HEY YOU GUYS!** I missed you. So I meant to have this up and ready to go a little while ago, but Real Life did that nasty thing of shooting me down when I was all set, meaning it took me longer to get my groove back! Anyway...this takes place when Lilly's around 27 weeks pregnant, a few months after the end of 'Just Like This'. Did I mention you might wanna read that first? Well...you should...but I hope ya'll are ready for a whole load of fluff! I know that before I've tried to juggle L/S stuff and a case, but the case is taking a back seat this time. ENJOY!

Disclaimer: I reckon by the time you've read all the disclaimers on Better This Way and Just Like This, you might have got the message. Am I right? Yeah...

* * *

Scotty Valens had things pretty easy. He had a job that he was good at, a girlfriend that loved him, and absolutely no work sitting on the end of his desk. That final thought brought a smile to his face, and he chuckled.

"Hey, Nicky," he said, flicking through a magazine.

"Yeah?" Nick Vera answered, sitting back and folding his arms over his ample stomach.

"Did you know that newborn babies ain't got no kneecaps? They develop later."

"No kiddin'! That's...kinda weird."

An irate voice reached their ears.

"Valens!"

Scotty sighed, banging his head down on his desk. Nick Vera chuckled.

"She's callin', man. You better go before she reports you missin'."

Glaring at his colleague, the younger detective walked into the break room. Lilly turned to glare at him.

"What's up, Lil?" he said calmly.

"I can't reach the peanut butter," she snapped. At any other time, Scotty would have laughed, but the sight of his pregnant girlfriend standing with folded arms sent shivers down his spine.

"Which one do you want?" he asked, moving to the cupboard, "Crunchy or smooth?"

Lilly thought carefully for a while. She stamped her foot in frustration.

"Dammit, Scotty! I hate this! I can't even decide which peanut butter I want!"

This time, he couldn't help the grin that appeared around his mouth.

"Come here," he said gently, reaching out for his partner. Breathing out slowly, the blonde detective gladly accepted his embrace, sliding her arms around his waist.

"My back hurts," she grumbled. Scotty smoothed circles on her long sleeved t-shirt.

"Go home, Lil. Boss doesn't want you to overdo it."

She pulled back to glare up at him.

"And what exactly am I supposed to do at home, Scotty? Cook? 'Cause we all know how that's gonna turn out. And you won't let me start decorating the nursery, so I can't actually do anything useful, and I can't even go for a walk because my feet hurt!"

"Lil. Relax," he said gently, his lips curving up in a smile. His partner sighed.

"I need a sandwich."

He kissed her gently, easing away the pout of her lips with a slight pressure. After a moment of stubborn refusal, Lilly responded to his kiss, snaking a hand up to the back of his neck. Breaking away, she smiled against his lips.

"We have to stop doing that," she murmured.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want our baby corrupted just yet."

"You think our child hasn't already been corrupted? What about the shower, yesterday mornin', or the..."

"Enough."

Chuckling, Scotty turned her around so that she was facing the counter, and slid his arms around her waist. He pressed his chin into her shoulder, stroking the roundness that stretched her shirt.

"What kinda sandwich do you want?"

"Peanut butter and jelly, funnily enough," Lilly replied, the stress sliding away with every pass of his hands over their baby.

"Cute, Lil. You want me to make it for you?"

She laughed softly.

"I can't cook, Scotty, but I can make a sandwich. Besides, you always put too much jelly in it."

"There's a right way o' makin' PBJ?"

"Oh yeah."

* * *

Squeezing her hand, Scotty led her out of the break room, chuckling at the smudge of spread at the corner of Lilly's mouth.

"Since when does it take twenty minutes to make a snack, Lil?"

"Since I had to make two because this little parasite is stealing all the goodness."

"Goodness?"

"Shut up, Valens."

A burly figure brushed past her arm, and Lilly jerked out of his way.

"Hey, watch the sandwich!" she cried. Vera chuckled.

"Hungry, Lil?" he teased. She narrowed her eyes.

"You always pick on pregnant women?"

"Like you can't still handle yourself," he scoffed. Ellie Manning all but bounced into the department, her smile brighter than usual.

"I'm back!" she chirped. Lilly narrowed her eyes.

"You're not supposed to be happy," she grumbled. Manning shrugged easily, flipping a strand of light brown hair behind her ear.

"And you're not supposed to be here, but I guess things just don't always work out the way we want."

Lilly took another bite of her sandwich, collapsing into her chair. Scotty chuckled, bending down to press a soft kiss to her hair line.

"Ain't that what I jus' said?"

"I'm not going home."

Miller grinned, shaking her head.

"Yeah, yeah. 'What maternity leave?'. We know," she teased, and was pleased to see a smile begin to spread across her colleague's tired face. The curly haired detective took a moment to truly study Lilly carefully. The bags under her eyes were dark and heavy, although lighter than they had been recently. Her figure was fuller, yet still impossibly slim, and Miller envied her ability to eat anything and not gain any baby weight.

And Lilly's bump was, without a doubt, flawless. Kat chuckled. _Just goes to show that anything Lil does turns out perfect._

A UFO suddenly broke through Miller's thought bubble, and she blinked, just in time to see Vera catch the marker Manning tossed him.

"Thank you kindly, Ellie," he said, oozing fake charm. He crossed to the oversized calendar on the wall. Uncapping the pen, he put an X through the date. Lilly rolled her eyes.

"I can't believe you started a pool on arrival dates."

Miller squinted at the calendar.

"Who bet on today?" she asked incredulously. Manning chuckled.

"Louis. He reckoned Rush wouldn't let him down, and I quote, 'she'll jus' pop that thing out an' win me some green'."

The look on Lilly's face sent them all into gales of laughter.

"Nothing will be 'popping' out of me!" she said aghast.

"Except maybe a little boy..." Scotty attempted, desperate to settle the ongoing debate. His partner rolled her eyes.

"For the last time, I am not going to tell you whether we're having a boy or a girl!"

He released a growl of frustration.

"Why?" he whined. Lilly smirked.

"I like knowing that there's something I know that you don't."

"You know what it's like to be pregnant," Scotty pointed out. Vera grinned.

"Yeah, man, but Rush and Miller won't quit tellin' us all how much it sucks," he said. Miller threw a balled up wad of paper at his head, scowling.

"Hey, I only hated the first trimester. Second and third was plain sailing."

"Whereas I just hate it completely," Lilly added grumpily. Scotty crouched down beside her, rubbing his hands up and down her thighs. He tilted his head, catching and holding her gaze. An unspoken exchange took place, ending in the male detective leaning forward to press a soft kiss to his partner's forehead.

Reaching for his own chair, he wheeled it beside her, drawing the blonde woman into his side. Lilly let her eyes close as she smiled slightly, rubbing her extended belly and snuggling into his warmth. Vera rolled his eyes.

"You're doin' it again," he said. Scotty frowned, more concerned with calming his partner.

"Doin' what?"

"That. Communicatin' without speakin'."

Manning waved a vague hand in the air, perching on the edge of Jeffries' desk.

"Well I think it's sweet," she replied brightly. Lilly opened an eye, her smile sticking around now that she'd relaxed some.

"You don't have to keep sucking up to me, you know."

Miller laughed.

"I don't think she knows the meaning of how to suck up," she teased, nudging the youngest detective with her elbow. Manning shrugged, her eyes sparkling.

"What can I say? I'm a nice person!"

"Nobody's that nice," Vera muttered. Scotty grinned, and as Will Jeffries appeared in the department, he raised a hand in greeting.

"How'd it go?"

"Same old, same old," the big man replied, his deep voice bringing a sense of calm to Lilly and the baby.

"You didn't miss much," Miller said. Jeffries looked around at them all, noting the various positions of casual indifference.

"Don't you have work to do?" he asked, looking pointedly at the pile of folders sitting on Vera's desk. Vera himself sighed in feigned irritation.

"I think Philly's underworld musta heard Rush is knocked up, 'cause we ain't had a proper case in weeks."

Miller slapped the back of his head.

"Don't say that, dumbass," she said in horrified disbelief, "Every time you say somethin' like that, we end up working five days straight!"

Her sentence had barely left her mouth when Stillman appeared from his office.

"A body's been found in the Schuylkill. We have a new case," he said. Miller narrowed her eyes at Vera, scowling fiercely.

"How about that?" she growled. He shrugged, a witty retort ready on the end of his tongue.

"Any ID on the vic, boss?" Scotty asked, interrupting before his colleagues could get too out of hand. The lieutenant handed Lilly a folder.

"Wallet and driver's license. Meet Nick Reeves. Went missing October '97...and aren't you supposed to be taking it easy?" he said. Ignoring his closing statement, the blonde detective studied the case file, frowning slightly.

"He was a lawyer? That means we've got thousands of suspects."

Stillman chuckled at the frustrated expression on her face.

"You three, head over to Chestnut Hill. Check out the family address, and see who is around. Manning, run through the vic's financials. I want to know anything that jumps out."

"Yes, boss."

Lilly narrowed her eyes, looking up.

"What about me?" she asked dangerously. Stillman held her gaze, mildly arching an eyebrow.

"You just sit there and look good."

"I'm not a goddamn pot plant!"

Vera barely concealed his grin.

"No, you're more like a cactus. You're all...prickly."

Lilly sniffed as they pulled on their coats, affecting an air of indifference. However, seeing the dejected slump of her shoulders, they all knew how much she hated being confined to desk work. Scotty hid a smile, motioning for Vera and Miller to go ahead without him. He went back, crouching down in front of his partner. Lilly frowned.

"What are you...?"

He put his head to the baby, kissing the small round bump.

"Hey, baby. Be nice to your mama while I'm gone, OK? You gotta look after her, baby, 'cause she's givin' up a lot for you. Don't make her feel like crap."

Lilly gently slapped his arm, failing to hide a tiny smile.

"Watch your mouth around the unborn," she reprimanded softly. He straightened, bending down to kiss her deeply. His laughter came from deep in his chest, and she wrapped a hand around the back of his neck to keep him in place.

"I love you," he murmured. His partner sighed heavily, reluctantly releasing him.

"I love you too. Now go! Leave me and AJ Feeley here to the hard work. That's fine!"

"So it's a boy?"

"Nice try, Valens."

* * *

I have a feeling this story is going to be on a downward spiral from here, but I'd really love to hear your thoughts! I hope you have a moment to review! :)


	2. Her Way

A/N OK, so maybe I was exaggerating when I said that it was pretty much a downwards spiral from now on. It is kinda bumpy, though. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I didn't know I actually had friends! :) So anyway. Here ya go. Giggle.

Disclaimer: I did buy myself a suit that cost me WAY too much, but somebody took Cold Case out of my shopping cart...

* * *

Since Vera, Valens and Miller had left for Chestnut Hill, the newest member of Philadelphia Homicide's Cold Case squad had been studying the evidence and case files as if her life depended on it. Manning chewed thoughtfully on the end of her pen, her sharp green eyes scanning the page, a delicate frown lining her brow.

"This was personal," she said quietly. At her sudden statement, all eyes turned to her, listening to the young woman in silence.

"Look at the position of the attacks. They're concentrated around the face, the neck, the upper chest..." Her voice trailed off. "I think we're looking for someone the victim knew, boss."

Lilly smirked, glancing up at Stillman. He shook his head.

"Don't say it," he warned. Her smirk turned into a full blown smile.

"I told you she was good, boss," she stated in satisfaction. Stillman groaned.

"You said it."

* * *

Shutting the car door, Vera rubbed his hands together, looking up and down the street.

"This place is the bomb! I swear this house costs more than I've made in my **life**!" he said loudly. Miller rolled her eyes.

"You only just workin' out that PPD pay sucks?"

Valens leant casually against the car, eyes fixed on the file of notes in his hands.

"Hey, Lil, you seen this?" he said absently, frowning at the folder. He got no reply, and flipped over the page. "Lil?"

Still getting no answer, Scotty looked up, coming to face to face with two pairs of eyes, one amused, the other sympathetic. He sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

"Sorry. Force o' habit."

Shaking her head, Miller headed up the front path. Scotty followed after her, before his other colleague's voice made him stop.

"Scotty," Vera called seriously. The younger detective turned back, frowning in confusion.

"What?"

"I know it's hard. Not bein' with Lil all the time."

Scotty looked at the floor, nodding slightly.

"Thanks, man."

"You two ladies done talking?"

Exchanging acknowledging glances, the two men moved up the gravel to stand on the porch beside Miller. She knocked on the door.

"Just a minute!"

Vera and Miller exchanged glances at the impatient voice from behind the closed door. An attractive face appeared behind the lace curtain, frowning.

"Who are you?" she asked suspiciously. Miller showed her badge, offering up a smile.

"Philly Homicide, ma'am. May we come in?"

The woman squinted at the badge, before scowling fiercely.

"What do you want?"

"Ma'am, we're here about Nick Reeves."

"What about him?"

"May we come in, Mrs...?"

The woman sniffed haughtily.

"Blake. Claudia Blake."

"Mrs Blake, we'd really appreciate a moment of..."

"No," she snapped, slamming the door.

It was Vera who recovered first.

"Well, that was fun," he muttered. The trio slowly headed back down the drive towards their car, noting that out of all of the vehicles on the street, theirs was the only one older than a year. Vera made for the driver's seat, only to find his way blocked by a fierce glare.

"Move," she said slowly. With a sigh of defeat, and a chuckle from Scotty, Vera walked around to the passenger seat, narrowing his eyes over the roof.

"Next time I'm drivin'."

"Of course you are," she replied, sliding easily into the car. Miller glanced in the rear view mirror as the pulled away from the house.

"So what's this maternity leave thing you've sorted with Stillman?" she asked. Scotty shrugged.

"Lil can pretty much do what she wants, but she ain't allowed outside the building. Manning's gonna be available for whatever."

A cunning smile spread across his face.

"Yo, Vera! You wanna tell Kat the other half of the plan?" he said craftily. Miller frowned.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Scotty chuckled.

"Nicky here took half o' your load. Means you get to head outta here in time to have plenty o' time wit' Veronica."

The curly haired detective stared at the man sitting beside her in astonishment.

"You did that...for me?" she asked in a hushed voice. Vera cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably.

"Watch the damn road."

* * *

Lilly winced, rubbing her extended bump.

"Will you quit moving?" she murmured, glancing down. In response, the baby kicked again.

"Baby still giving you trouble?" said a voice from behind her. The blonde detective turned her head, a tired smile spreading across her face.

"Every time Scotty leaves, Peanut goes wild," she replied. Stillman raised an eyebrow, his own smile growing as he watched her hand remain over her growing bump.

"Peanut?"

She blushed.

"Don't tell Vera, but I actually don't mind that nickname."

"So how big is Peanut now?" her boss asked, leaning casually against her desk.

"About the size of a papaya," Lilly said darkly, wincing at yet another inside assault. Picking up on the resentment in her voice, Stillman frowned slightly. He watched her work for a moment, before softly clearing his throat. Lilly set down her pen with a sigh, certain that some profound statement was about to follow.

"It's hurting Scotty too, you know."

She glanced up, meeting Stillman's caring gaze.

"Yeah?"

"You think he likes missing out on this? Scotty hates missing out on all the good things."

"What good things?" Lilly questioned in confusion. Stillman chuckled.

"The first movement, the scan where you found out the sex. He was working, Lil."

"That was his choice."

"No, Lil, it was yours. I distinctly remember that conversation."

"Really?"

"Yes. In fact, I think the entire city heard that conversation. You all but ordered him to stay here."

Blushing bright red, Lilly stared at the computer screen, looking but not really seeing. She absently rubbed her hand back and forth over her extended belly, shifting in her seat.

"You do that a lot, don't you?"

The blonde detective blinked in surprise.

"Do what?" she asked. Stillman chuckled.

"Zone out. You look like you were really thinking about something," he replied. Lilly shrugged, turning back to her monitor.

"Oh."

Stillman frowned slightly, moving around so that he could see her face.

"Lil..." She sighed, sitting back in her seat and rubbing her eyes.

"I'm fine, Boss. Really." He made no move to leave her, perching on the end of her desk. With another sigh, Lilly shook her head.

"There are just so many things I have to worry about."

The lieutenant rested a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Lilly, there is no doubt in my mind that you will take to motherhood like a duck to water. I have never seen you give less than 110% on anything."

"I'm not perfect," Lilly replied in a small voice, "I make mistakes. Big mistakes."

Her boss chuckled, squeezing her shoulder.

"Who doesn't?"

"But I can't afford to make mistakes, boss! Not with a baby!"

"Why don't you talk to Scotty about this, Lil?"

"Because he won't understand! He thinks that I'm enjoying this, that this is all just going to...to make me change! I'm not supposed to be pregnant!" she cried, her voice rising in both pitch and volume. At the tears beading at her eyelids, the lieutenant reached into his pocket, taking out a tissue and pressing it into her hand. Lilly hastily wiped her eyes, sniffing. She turned her head away from him, wincing at the pointed kick from her insides.

The blonde detective stood up abruptly.

"I, uh...I...you...I'll be back," she said hurriedly. Watching her dash out of his line of vision, Stillman sighed heavily, turning and heading for the sanctity of his office. If Lilly needed him, she knew where to find him.

Sure enough, as expected, Lilly tapped on the door less than ten minutes later, her face now composed and free from any evidence of tears. Stillman glanced up, smiling as he beckoned her into his office.

"What can I do for you, Lilly?"

She cleared her throat, sheepishly fiddling with her shirt.

"I, uh...I'm going home," she mumbled. He raised an eyebrow.

"Good," he replied simply, standing up. The blonde detective rolled her eyes.

"Thanks for the support, boss. It's good to know I'm wanted."

Stillman walked with her to her desk.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright?" he asked in concern. Lilly smiled up at him, her eyes sparkling mischievously.

"We're fine. Stop worrying," she replied. He chuckled, resting a hand on her shoulder.

"You win, Wonder Woman. I'll let Scotty know where you are."

Lilly slid her coat on, her smile widening.

"Start with 'They're fine', unless you want him to have a heart attack." Stillman laughed, gently pushing her towards the exit.

"Get out of here. Take it easy, Lil."

"I will, Boss," she replied, her voice turning serious, "I promise."

* * *

Scotty shut the door behind him, sighing as he caught sight of the time.

"Don't I get a life no more?" he muttered. Taking a few steps into the living room, he felt a grin spread across his face at the sight that greeted him. Lilly was asleep on the sofa, her legs stretched out along its length and her cheek resting on the cushions. A book rested on her knees, the pages open halfway through and barely touching the bump. Scotty quietly slid off his shoes, walking across to the sofa and picking up the book from her lap.

"The Velveteen Rabbit. Nice, Lil," he said softly. Olivia glared up at him from her seat beside Lilly. The male detective chuckled, rubbing the cat's head, and carefully scooped his partner up into his arms. He slid an arm under her legs, the other circling high on her waist.

Lilly snuggled into him, murmuring something under her breath as he carried her into their bedroom. Smiling at the innocence on the blonde's face, Scotty laid her down on the bed. Lilly frowned, her brow creasing as she wove deeper into the sheets. He tenderly stroked her brow, before disappearing into the bathroom.

After stripping down to his boxer shorts, Scotty carefully lowered himself to the bed beside her, desperately trying not to disturb the sleeping woman beside him. Propping himself up on one elbow, he smoothed a strand of hair from her face. _It's official. I'm in love with a beautiful woman. A beautiful woman who jus' happens to be carryin' my child._

He winced as Lilly rolled towards him. She kissed his shoulder, looping an arm over his stomach.

"I was hopin' I wouldn't wake you," he said quietly. He felt her smile.

"You didn't," she murmured sleepily, "Baby woke up about three minutes ago."

Scotty chuckled, hugging her close.

"Yeah?" Lilly nodded.

"Peanut knows when Daddy's home."

Lilly moved her head onto his chest. Her partner smiled, and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"I was thinkin' about you today," he said. Lilly smirked.

"Good."

"I started talkin' to you when we were up at Chestnut Hill."

The blonde detective turned her head to look up at him. She raised her eyebrows.

"You started talking to a person that wasn't there? Do I need to be worried?" He grinned down at her.

"Nah, Lil. But that's my problem. You weren't there."

Lilly sighed, gently rubbing circles on his stomach.

"I know," she replied, and they fell into a comfortable silence. Tripod purred softly, relaxing in the chair in the corner.

"Are you scared?" Lilly asked suddenly. Scotty thought for a moment, running his hand up and down her arm.

"Yes," he said after a moment, and his partner had to smile at his honest answer. She rubbed her nose against his chest, hugging him tightly.

"OK," she replied simply, "Me too."

* * *

Aww. Ain't that sweet? Please may I have a review? Please? Thanks.


	3. Head Case

A/N I'm BA-ACK! So how's it going, you guys? I missed you. I really did. Thanks SO SO much to everybody that reviewd the last chapter! And now we have a familiar face popping up. Not entirely sure where this chapter came from, or why this character reappeared, but hey! It happens. Read and review!

Disclaimer: Did you know that somebody somewhere DOES actually get to write one of these things and say "Hell yeah! They ARE mine!". But, funnily enough, that person is not me.

* * *

Rush stormed in, threw her things into her locker, and slammed the door shut. Vera looked up at the sudden interruption to the peace and quiet.

"Uh oh. She's wearin' her scary face," he said under his breath. Jeffries chuckled as Valens followed his partner into the bullpen, his face dark. Lilly glared at them all.

"Why is it raining? Why does it always rain in Philadelphia?" she said angrily, stomping towards the break room. Scotty slumped down in his seat, resting his elbows on his desk.

"The weather?" Vera asked sympathetically. The younger detective shook his head, glaring at the closed door, behind which his partner could be heard slamming cupboard doors.

"You only caught the goddamn end of it. It was cat food earlier," he grumbled. Miller watched as a distant look spread across his face.

"What's up with Lil?" she asked in concern. Scotty couldn't help but grin.

"She woke up this mornin' and realized that her favourite jeans wouldn't fit. She hates bein' fat."

The curly haired woman scoffed.

"Lil thinks that's fat? That bump ain't nothin' compared to Veronica."

"Try tellin' her that."

Lilly suddenly stormed out of the break room, almost knocking over Manning as she stepped through the gate.

"Whoa..." the young detective said, slightly winded. "Don't worry, Lil! I'm fine!" She watched the blonde disappear, before turning to her remaining colleagues with wide eyes. "Someone wake up on the wrong side of the planet this morning?"

Scotty shook his head, smirking.

"She's taking up most of the bed anyway. I get a tiny little space on the edge," he replied, pinching his fingers together to show how small. Miller laughed.

"Ever think about sleeping on the sofa?"

"No thanks. I kinda like my manhood the way it is."

* * *

Lilly seemed to have vanished. As the team settled into their various seats, grabbing files out of the white box, her sudden disappearance slid from the forefronts of their minds. Half an hour into her disappearance, Scotty received a message on his cell phone, and a relieved smile spread across his face.

"She's on her way back," he announced, "an' it sounds like she's in a better mood."

Vera had just returned from the men's room just as Scotty finished speaking, and smirking to himself, headed straight for the break room. There was something about that oatmeal that just called to him. He glanced around, his narrowed eyes searching for the pregnant detective.

Chuckling when he realised that she wasn't there yet, he reached for the box, his hand sliding in to grab a packet. Before he knew what had hit him, a hand descended on his arm, clamping down on his wrist.

"Hands off my oatmeal," Lilly said in a deadly voice.

"Please, Lil," he whined, "I didn't get no breakfast!"

She cast a critical eye over his stout frame.

"I hardly think it'll make that much difference," she replied.

"But don't you know breakfast is the most important meal of the day?"

"Yes, and I am eating for two. Therefore it's important that I always have food available."

Vera sighed heavily, dropping the packet back into the box.

"You can be real mean sometimes," he grumbled, hiding a smile at the grin spreading across his colleague's face. Satisfied that his hands would stay away from her food, Lilly pushed him towards the bull pen.

"Think of it as looking out for your wellbeing."

"There ain't nothin' wrong with my wellbein'!"

Scotty looked up as she stopped beside him, a small frown creasing his brow. He stood, sliding an arm around her waist to draw her closer.

"You alright?"

Lilly quickly pressed her lips to his.

"I am now," she murmured. He grinned, and as they exchanged adoring gazes, Jeffries and Vera sighed heavily. Lilly turned to them with narrowed eyes.

"What is your problem?"

Much to their surprise, it was Manning who spoke up.

"You two are so sweet it makes me want to throw up," she murmured, her eyes fixed on the page. They stared at her curiously.

"So what's made you so anti-affection all of a sudden?" Miller asked. Something flickered in Manning's eyes, and Lilly frowned in thought. Whatever it was had been and gone before the blonde detective could catch it, and she blinked. Turning to her partner, Lilly rested a hand on his chest.

"Are you doing anything?"

"No, why?"

A pink stain spread across her cheeks, and she bent down to whisper in his ear. He grinned.

"Sure," he replied, pecking his partner on the cheek, and reaching for his jacket, "I won't be long."

"Where's he goin'?" Vera questioned in confusion. Lilly shrugged in embarrassment.

"Grocery store."

As Scotty disappeared from sight, a smile spread across her face.

"Hey, Kat," she said softly, beckoning her friend with a tilt of her head. Grinning, the curly haired detective placed a hand on the bump. A hard kick greeted her palm, and Lilly laughed.

"Jesus, Lil!" Miller exclaimed, "Only your kid could kick that hard!"

The blonde detective shrugged, her smile almost blinding. Kat chuckled, exchanging amused looks with Vera at their colleague's newfound joy.

"Lilly?"

The blonde turned, her smile fading and her hands moving to cover the small bump. Seeing the person that had said her name, Lilly rolled her eyes.

"Oh, for God's sake," she muttered, spinning on her heel to storm into Stillman's office. "Boss!"

He looked up in surprise.

"Lil? What's the...Ah."

Dr Davoren smiled, appearing in the doorway behind the detective.

"Lt. Stillman," she said graciously. He glanced at Lilly, now understanding her anger.

"Rush, where's Detective Valens? I'd like him to look over something," he asked cautiously. She smirked slightly, completely ignoring the therapist.

"Family emergency. Something about groceries." Stillman hid a smile, translating her words as 'I sent him to the store'.

"So, doctor, what can we do for you?"

"I just needed to talk to Lilly for a moment."

The blonde detective rolled her eyes again. Arching an eyebrow, Stillman barely blinked under the force of his detective's Ice Queen glare.

"Rush..."

"Boss, you signed me off! I don't have to talk to her anymore!"

"Lil, come on. Just talk."

Lilly closed her eyes, shifting uncomfortably as her unborn child began to react to the tension. She took a deep breath. Stillman stood up in concern.

"Lilly?"

"I'm fine," she replied, opening her eyes. Dr Davoren cleared her throat.

"Lilly, I can't **force** you to talk to me, but I do think it would be beneficial."

"How long?" the blonde asked slowly. Dr Davoren glanced at the lieutenant, and received a shrug in return.

"As long as you feel is sufficient."

Lilly sighed.

"I guess we better get this party started then."

* * *

It was on his way. Scotty had to walk past it to get to the smoothie Lilly was now demanding. It was no big deal, then, when the detective pause to look in the window, allowed himself the 'What if...?'.

When he was in tenth grade, there had been a series of words scrawled into the back of the seat in front. Seemingly meaningless at the time, Scotty had stared at those words every day for a year, and was only now beginning to realise what they meant.

'We are all a little weird. Life is just as weird as all of us put together. When we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness. We call it love.'

The untidy black Sharpie scrawl was imprinted in his mind, rolling over and over until it was all her could think about. He hadn't meant to go inside for that long. In fact, he hadn't meant to go inside at all. He hadn't meant to spot the perfect one sitting in the window display. And he certainly hadn't meant to buy anything.

So when Scotty Valens emerged from the store, down a significant number of dollars, and hiding the tell-tale box in his pocket, he was confused to say the least.

* * *

Stillman had left them alone in his office. Maybe a stupid move. At least they were in a police building, he reasoned. _And at least I took away Lilly's weapon when she started maternity leave. _So here they were. Lilly narrowed her eyes.

"Hurry up and ask what it is I know you're practically dying to ask," she said bluntly.

"Who's the father?"

The blonde shook her head, even now failing to stop the smile from hovering around her mouth.

"Scotty. Scotty Valens."

"You're partner? Congratulations," Dr Davoren said in surprise.

"Now that we've got that out of the way, you signed me off. I don't have to talk to you anymore."

Dr Davoren had been expecting the unwelcoming words from the detective, so moved on without hesitation.

"It's been almost a year since the shooting."

Lilly sighed, sitting down on the sofa. The baby moved, the strange fluttering still sending shivers of delight and irritation racing through her.

"Really?"

"Are you still having nightmares?"

"No."

"Flashbacks?"

"No."

"Do you think about the shooting at all?"

"Only when people ask me about it."

* * *

The rest of the squad, minus the expectant parents and Stillman, were standing at the break room window, watching the exchange between patient and doctor with baited breath. Manning glanced at her colleagues, smirking at the look of foreboding on their faces.

"So what's the deal with Lil and the doc?"

Vera gaped at her.

"You're kiddin' me, right? You don't know?"

"If you hadn't noticed, Lilly's not exactly the kind of person to share things like that," Manning retorted, her eyes flashing. Jeffries chuckled.

"Lilly was shot. That was, what? Nine months ago?"

"Nearly a year," Miller corrected. The young woman's eyes widened.

"That was Lilly? I mean...I heard a Homicide detective got shot, but...Wow."

"Yeah," Vera agreed, "jus' do us all a favour an' don't ask her about it?"

"Ask who about what?" Scotty asked, shutting the door behind him. Shooting the others a warning look, Vera glanced over his shoulder.

"Nothin'. Hey, you're just in time, man. It's about to get good."

The younger detective moved to stand beside his colleagues.

"Tell me that ain't who I think it is," he said slowly. Miller chuckled.

"Lil's shrink. Sorry, Valens."

Scotty shook his head.

"This ain't goin' to end well for me," he murmured. Manning grinned, nudging him with her elbow.

"You could always head her off. Catch the storm before it breaks." He glanced down at her, a thoughtful look dancing over his face. After a moment, he smirked.

"Pass me that oatmeal..."

* * *

"So, Lilly. Is there anything else you feel we should talk about?" Dr Davoren asked. The blonde detective rolled her eyes.

"No."

"Nothing? Not even how you suddenly find yourself an expectant mother, in love with a man who has been known to cause you trouble in previous years?"

Before Lilly could reply, Scotty tapped cautiously on the door. Glaring at the psychiatrist, she moved towards him, standing as close to him as she could. A muted conversation took place in the doorway, ending with Scotty pressing a soft kiss to his partner's cheek and disappearing into the bathroom. Lilly shut the door behind him, sticking the spoon into the cereal.

Dr Davoren cleared her throat.

"People don't comment on your relationship with Detective Valens, do they?"

Lilly shook her head, swallowing her mouthful of oatmeal.

"No..." she replied slowly.

"What I mean is that you don't get a lot of people on the outside looking in," Penny explained.

"I guess not."

"Don't you ever wonder what people would say? What they would see when you're together?"

"You're on the outside'," Lilly said defensively. Dr Davoren raised an eyebrow.

"And are you interested in what I've observed?" she asked mildly. Lilly's jaw set stubbornly, but the flash of curiosity glittering in her eye gave the psychiatrist her answer. The therapist folded one leg across the other, watching Lilly with an appraising eye. After a moment, she spoke.

"First off, there is no doubt in my mind that you love each other very much. That much is evident. When he's around, I see the Lilly I had only heard about. Your eyes are brighter, and your smile, however tiny, comes straight from here," she said softly, tapping her heart. Lilly was rooted to the spot in surprise, her mouth hanging slightly open. _Huh. Maybe she's not as stupid as I thought..._Dr Davoren smiled, continuing with her observations.

"But there's more. You have trust, professionally as partners. You may not have given me all the details, but I know enough about your shooting to know that it was Scotty you called. It was him you trusted to get help."

"Yes," Lilly admitted softly. Dr Davoren smiled.

"More importantly, Lilly, you trust each other as lovers. People underestimate the importance of trust in a relationship. Everyone always says that it's such an important thing, yet don't really know why. I know that you trust Scotty enough to be carrying his child, to let him give you that precious gift. You respect each other. When your partner brought you the oatmeal, he knocked, Lilly, out of respect for your privacy, and understanding of the way you operate."

She took a breath.

"The last thing I noticed is the mutual dependence you seemed to have developed. You need him, just as much as he needs you."

While the older woman was talking in a quiet voice, Lilly had eaten more than half the bowl of oatmeal, listening intently. When Dr Davoren finally stopped, looking at her expectantly, the detective realised exactly how far over the line they had gone.

"That was personal," she said in soft surprise. Dr Davoren laughed.

"Yes, Lilly. About as personal as you've ever let me get."

Lilly shook her head, taking another mouthful of oatmeal.

"That the only thing that will stay down?" Dr Davoren asked.

"That and orange juice."

"So how do you feel about becoming a mother?"

The blonde detective shook her head, swallowing. A tiny sliver of fear appeared in her eyes, and she cleared her throat.

"I appreciate you checking up on me, but I'm fine. Really."

The shrink raised her eyebrows. It seemed the personal tones of their conversation had been banished, replaced by the cold indifference Lilly had mastered so well. Dr Davoren stifled a sigh of defeat.

"Why do you think that is?" she asked, deciding to go with her patient's change of subject. Lilly shrugged.

"Why do I think I'm fine? Because I've dealt with it. It's over."

"Yet you still can't say 'the shooting'."

The blonde blushed slightly, stabbing her spoon back into the hot cereal.

"No, but...Look. In this job, stuff like that happens. People get hurt. I'm used to it."

"Getting hurt?"

She narrowed her eyes at the therapist.

"The job," she corrected.

"Ah," Dr Davoren said, "my mistake."

* * *

I meant to warn you at the very beginning- there are quite a few chapters that I've just written because I thought they were good ideas. But I promise there is a plot line in here! Somewhere...it might be hiding among all those incoming reviews...


	4. Relax

A/N So here we have one o' them pointless chapters I'm so fond of. It takes place a few minutes after last chapter, and I know the reappearance of a certain character doesn't co-incide with the show, but it **does **co-incide with my previous story. It may seem a little random, but I'm tying up loose ends and frayed edges. I also apologize for the slightly extended waiting time. Sorry! Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! You guys really make me smile! :) Anyway, here you go- ENJOY!

Disclaimer: Word on the streets is that you can buy 'em cheap fo' dirt, but I don't know what Big Frankie told ya. I know a person who knows a person, though...

* * *

Watching the psychiatrist disappear from the Homicide department, Lilly breathed a sigh of relief. She felt drained, and taking a moment to control her breathing, the blonde detective glanced up. Seeing the faces watching her from the break room, she couldn't hide a tiny smile.

"You can come out now," she mouthed. Scotty was out of the break room in a flash, quickly appearing at her side.

"Are you OK? What was she doin' here? Is the baby OK? Why...?"

His string of questions was cut off by her lips, and the male detective blinked in surprise. His own lips began to move under hers, his tongue snaking out to stroke the insides of her mouth. Lilly released an almost inaudible groan, and slid her hands under his jacket to grip his sides. Scotty let his fingers dance down her spine, past the line of her surprisingly attractive maternity bra, down lower, past the waistband of her trousers...

Stillman stuck his head out of his office.

"Hey!"

The couple broke apart, cheeks flaming.

"Take it somewhere else, you two," the lieutenant warned. Lilly sighed, taking her partner's hand and leading him to the balcony. Scotty followed her in silence, waiting until the door had shut behind them until he spoke.

"I was worried about you, you know," he said quietly, hugging her towards him, "I thought you were...well, I don't know what I thought, but I was worried."

Lilly smiled, and hugged him tightly.

"Did you know that it's been nearly a year?" He nodded slowly, sucking in a breath.

"I remember...ain't like I could forget," he replied in a low voice. She took a couple of deep breaths, closing her eyes and letting him rub circles up and down her back.

"Sorry for kidnapping you," she whispered, "I just needed a hug."

Her partner chuckled.

"No problem. I happen to like your kind o' kidnappin'," he murmured into her hair. Lilly laughed.

"I'll have to bear that in mind."

Scotty held her away from him, pressing a soft kiss to the tip of her nose.

"We better get back. Don't want Boss thinkin' me an' you were kickin' up a storm."

Lilly tangled her fingers around his, and let him lead her back towards their desk. As the couple re-entered the bullpen, Miller looked up.

"Manning caught us a break," she said, all business now that they had a lead to follow. The new detective blushed, beginning to explain.

"The last case our vic was prosecuting involved Mr Carlos Riviera."

Scotty raised his eyebrows.

"As in the Mob leader?" he asked. His partner frowned.

"What was Nick Reeves doing trying Mob cases?"

Miller waved a thoughtful hand in the air, gesturing vaguely at the case file.

"But you said this was personal. And looking at these pictures, I'd have to agree. This doesn't look like a Mob hit."

"Yeah, Mob hits ain't untidy like this," Vera added. Skimming through the folder, Jeffries shrugged.

"What if it we're thinkin' too hard? Could this be both?"

Scotty frowned doubtfully.

"You mean a personal Mob hit?"

"Didn't think there was such a thing," Manning quipped.

"If you're all done speculating, do you think I could speak?"

The six investigators looked up at their lieutenant guiltily.

"Sorry, boss," Miller said, speaking up for all of them. Stillman shook his head in amusement, exchanging entertained glances with Jeffries.

"Will, Scotty, get down to the law offices and get a list of clients who made a complaint against our vic. Miller, you and Manning see if Mr Riviera is receiving visitors."

The four detectives left at once, leaving a frustrated Lilly glaring after them. Grinning, Vera spun around on his chair.

"What's the matter, Rush?" he teased. Stillman tried not to laugh at her colourful response.

"Nicky, you and Lil get hold of Mrs Blake. See if she's slightly more agreeable today."

Vera chuckled.

"Who knows? Maybe she'll defrost when Peanut enters the room before Lil."

* * *

It turned out that Mrs Claudia Blake had taken an 'unexpected vacation' to the Caribbean.

"Because that don't look suspicious," Vera muttered sullenly. Lilly laughed softly.

"Just moves her further up the suspect list."

Now, a while later, they were both busy trying to track down their leads. Sighing, Lilly sat back in her chair, and did a double take at the man walking into the Homicide department.

"This day just keeps getting better," she said in disbelief. Following her line of vision, Vera raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, Lil, ain't that...?"

"I thought I said I never wanted to see you again," the blonde interrupted sharply. Paul Cooper smiled sadly.

"You told me you never wanted to **talk** to me again," he replied, "but you never said anything about seeing me." Lilly scowled at him, gesturing towards the exit.

"Leave."

He smiled slightly, his eyes flicking over her frame, lingering on the bump.

"How have you been?"

The sudden question seemed to catch Lilly unawares, and she blinked.

"Uh...fine. Great. Excellent. Life is wonderful."

"Good. Are you happy?"

"Not right now, no. Because you are still here."

Before either could continue to speak, a calm voice buried itself right in the centre of Lilly's angry tirade.

"I invited him."

The blonde detective's head spun around. Stillman folded his arms, and Lilly immediately knew that there was no way she could win this argument.

"YOU invited him?" she echoed in disbelief, "Why?"

"Because he's my friend, Lilly," Stillman said evenly. Cooper smiled sadly.

"You may hate me, Lilly, but you are not the only detective I know."

She watched open-mouthed as her father followed the lieutenant into the break room. Vera chuckled slightly.

"Ouch," he murmured. Standing up, Lilly slammed her pen down on the desk. The smile slid from her colleague's face, and he gently caught her arm.

"Don't go gettin' all worked up, Rush," he said, his rough voice surprisingly gentle. Blushing slightly, Lilly nodded, and Vera let her go. She pushed the break room door open, and both men looked up, one in alarm, the other in resigned defeat.

"You can't just turn up!" she snapped, glaring at them both. Stillman sighed heavily.

"This is not the place to..."

"You just left," she said, her voice suddenly quiet. When she got no reply, she continued. "I remember watching you walk out. And then 27 years later, you just suddenly turn up? I'm sorry if you were expecting a nice family reunion, but I can't do that anymore."

"Because of the baby?" her father asked. Lilly nodded slowly.

"You don't know how much I want to forgive you, to welcome you back with open arms, but if I let you be a part of my child's life, how do I know you won't disappear again? I will not let my child be hurt like that. So you have to leave."

The door shut with a soft click as she walked out. Cooper watched her leave.

"I have another grandchild," he said in amazement. Stillman felt his chest tighten.

"No, Paul, that's not your grandchild. You lost that right 27 years ago."

Cooper arched an eyebrow.

"You think Lilly will stick by her decision?" he asked. The detective felt a smile tug at the corner of his lips.

"You obviously don't know her very well," he replied.

"Exactly," Cooper said, "but I'd like to."

Stillman shook his head.

"She has everything she needs right here. You have your second family, Cooper, and Lilly has hers."

"I take it that's my cue to leave?"

"I made a mistake inviting you here, Paul, and I'm sorry for that."

For a moment, Cooper considered saying something else, but he did nothing but shake his head and leave Stillman alone in his office. He stopped beside Vera's desk, and the burly detective glanced up.

"Detective, I'm looking for my daughter. Have you seen her?"

"No," Vera replied shortly.

"Do you have any idea where she might be?"

"Nope."

Cooper shook his head, smiling humourlessly.

"Well, it was nice meeting you," he said quietly, before walking off with his head held high. Vera glanced up, watching Lilly's father leave. He sighed heavily, guilt making him slap a hand to his forehead.

"Dammit," he muttered, and jogged after him. "Cooper!"

The older man stopped, turning in the detective's direction. Out of breath, Vera came to a stop.

"Look, I know what you're tryin' to do. Tryin' to get to know your daughter, an' I get that. If I was in your position, I'd probably do the same."

"What are you trying to say, detective?"

Vera shook his head.

"You ain't been around for very long, so I ain't expectin' you to know any different, but Lil's had a tough couple o' years. An' whatever she's got goin' on wit' Scotty...man, when she's happy, like she is now, the whole world knows it."

He sniffed, and took a deep breath, sheepishly lowering his eyes to the floor.

"I don't want her to be hurt no more, OK?" he finished gruffly. Cooper was silent for a moment that seemed to stretch on forever. Eventually, he cleared his throat, nodding once.

"Tell Lilly I said goodbye."

* * *

Walking through the department gate, Jeffries glanced across at his colleague, raising an eyebrow at the look of confusion and foreboding that had suddenly appeared on Scotty's face.

"You alright, Valens?"

"Yeah," Scotty replied absently, "I just thought I saw..."

Lilly walked past them, a frown creasing her forehead. Scotty hurried after her.

"Hey, Lil, did I just see your...?"

"Yes," she interrupted shortly.

"What was...?"

"I don't really want to talk about it," she muttered, disappearing into the break room. Following her in, Scotty slid his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"You wanna know what I'm thinkin'?" he murmured. His partner straightened against him.

"Pretty certain I could guess," she replied with a laugh, feeling him nibble a trail down her neck. Scotty grinned.

"I'm thinkin' me, you, Peanut...Chinese food..."

Lilly frowned thoughtfully.

"Weren't you going to watch the game with Vera and Jeffries?" He turned her around, sticking his bottom lip out.

"What? You don't want to eat Chinese food?"

Laughing, Lilly rested her hands on his waist, pecking him quickly on the lips.

"You know I don't have a problem with Chinese food, but I just thought you might like a night with the guys."

Scotty raised a suspicious eyebrow.

"What's your real reason?" he questioned. His partner sighed heavily.

"I'm moonlighting as a secret vigilante in a rubber cat-suit. Tonight I'm ridding the city of prostitutes," she said with a roll of her eyes. Her partner was silent for a while. When he remained speechless for too long, Lilly pinched his chest.

"Scotty!" she said in amusement. He blinked.

"Huh?"

"Are you even listening to me?"

"No, I'm still stuck on the rubber cat-suit."

* * *

The end of the day seemed to creep up on them, the sun setting and the department slowly emptying. Vera clapped Scotty on the back.

"You ready, man?" he asked. Scotty shook his head.

"Nah. You guys go ahead."

Vera looked hurt, the giant Eagle on his hat flapping comically.

"You ain't comin' to watch the game?"

"No. I got this, uh, work...yeah, work to, uh, finish," Scotty replied shortly. He felt a soft breath brush past his ear, and a gentle kiss was placed to the nape of his neck.

"I'll be fine," Lilly whispered. Scotty gasped slightly, not realising how close she was until her soft voice dusted his ear.

"I know, Lil, but I've got..." She moved around to perch on the edge of his desk, her bump straining slightly at the material of her shirt.

"Scotty," she repeated softly, a hint of firmness entering her voice. He sighed heavily, finally looking up at her. Lilly arched an eyebrow, her blue eyes reassuring. Her partner sighed again, slowly nodding his head. The blonde sighed in relief, bending forward to kiss him gently.

"Thank you," she murmured against his lips. The male detective shrugged, attempting a smile. Everyone could see the worry still lingering in his eyes. Scotty turned to Vera and Jeffries.

"What time's kick off?"

* * *

Scotty shut the door quietly, in case Lilly was sleeping. Dropping his coat onto the sofa, and removing his shoes, the male detective frowned slightly.

"What am I doing?" he heard Lilly grumble darkly. He grinned at the clatter of pans landing in the sink, stifling a laugh at the stream of curses that followed.

"Stupid fucking stove," Lilly muttered. The baby kicked, causing her to glare down at her bump.

"Don't you start," she groused. Leaning against the doorframe, Scotty felt his heart melt at the sight that greeted him. Lilly was cooking. She, of the burnt toast and takeout, was cooking.

The blonde swore again, viciously attacking the pans with a scrubbing brush as her voice faded into mutinous grumbles. She was wearing cotton pyjama pants and a vest top, the material stretched over the bump. Her hair was up in a ponytail, and Scotty stifled a laugh at the smudge of chocolate on her cheek.

_All in all_, he thought, _she looks utterly adorable._

Creeping up behind her, he placed a kiss to the curve of her shoulder.

"Do they taste as good as you?" he murmured. Lilly jumped at the sudden contact.

"Dammit, Scotty! Do you **want** me to go into early labour?"

Grinning, he turned her around to get a better look at her, and tried not to laugh.

"So how much of the mix actually made it into the tin?"

Lilly rolled her eyes, her bottom lip pouting ever so slightly.

"Shut up. I just wanted to make a damn chocolate cake, so I found a recipe, and I added all the stuff together and followed _all_ the instructions and it still turns out wrong!" No longer bothering to contain his laughter, Scotty tugged her away from the counter, leaving her cooking debris and pulling her towards the sofa. She sank down onto the cushions.

"Why can't I cook, Scotty?" she whined, resting her cheek on his chest. He kissed the top of her head.

"Maybe you're jus' not cut out for cookin'."

She pinched his chest, scowling up at him.

"I **am **cut out for cooking."

"So maybe it just takes practise?"

Hearing the ring at the front door, Lilly peeled herself away from him with a groan. As she disappeared to answer it, Scotty chuckled, scratching the back of his head. On the sofa beside him, Tripod and Olivia purred in contentment. Lilly reappeared in the living room, a box in her hands and a frown on her face.

"Who was that?" her partner asked. She crossed to the counter.

"Delivery man," she replied, dropping the box to the stone surface. Lilly tore open the package. Scotty looked over her shoulder, his hand resting lightly on the small of her back. Leaning back against his chest, Lilly pulled the item out of the parcel. Frowning slightly, she unfolded it.

"What is it, Lil?" Scotty asked. She shook her head, searching for the card.

"I don't know," she murmured. Scotty rubbed circles on her back, his curiosity aroused. Lilly tore the envelope open, carefully sliding the card into her hand.

"To Lilly. Vera was right- you are happy. May you have better luck with your family than I did with mine. Much love…Dad," she read in a soft voice. Her partner tightened his arm around her waist.

"What is it, Lil?" he repeated seriously. She released a shaky breath.

"It's my baby blanket."

The male detective heard her breath hitch, and he hugged her towards him. Beside him, Lilly trembled, shivering and pressing herself into his warmth. She was silent for a while, staring down at the blanket on the counter. After a while, she sighed heavily, resting her head against him. Scotty took that as his cue to break the silence.

"Are you OK?"

Lilly hesitated, leaving the blanket where it lay.

"I think I'm gonna go to sleep now."

She disappeared down the hall, stopping only when Scotty caught her wrist.

"That wasn't an answer," he pointed out. Lilly couldn't stop a tiny smile from spreading across her face.

"No," she admitted. Scotty looped his arms around her waist, and walked them both forwards into the bedroom.

"I think you need a good night's sleep," he said, his voice muffled by her neck. Lilly laughed.

"Did you work that out all by yourself?" she replied, covering his hands with her own as they rested on the bump. He guided her towards the bed, scooping her up and depositing her beneath the covers.

"Scotty, I have to wash my face, and clean my teeth!" she protested.

"Ain't nothin' wrong wit' your face, an' your teeth are fine."

Lilly rolled her eyes as he placed a loving kiss to her cheek.

"Have you been drinking?"

"I may have had a few," Scotty replied cheerfully. She shook her head in amusement.

"That explains it then."

The male detective kissed her again, before stripping down to his boxers. Carefully laying his clothes over the back of the chair that stood in the corner, he slid into bed beside her.

"Love you, Lil."

"Love you too, Scotty," she replied, resting her cheek on his chest.

"Love you, Peanut," her partner added. Lilly laughed, reaching for his hand.

"I hope you weren't expecting an actual answer," she said, placing his palm flat against the side of her extended bump. Scotty chuckled as a sharp kick met the heel of his hand.

"Nah, that's good enough for me."

The blonde detective nestled her cheek into his chest. Scotty stroked circles on her arm, watching her head rise and fall with each of his breaths.

"What about Matthew?"

"What about him?" she teased.

"Funny, Lil. Seriously, what about Matthew?"

Lilly thought for a moment.

"I like it."

"Or maybe Mark?"

"Scotty..."

"Then there's..."

"Don't say it."

"...Luke or John."

"You said it. When was the last time you even went to church?"

"What about Jesus?"

Lilly couldn't stop a laugh from bubbling over.

"You're good, Scotty, but you're not God."

"No? You sure about that?" he teased, nestling his nose into her neck.

"Uh-huh. Keep dreaming, Valens."

Scotty rolled over to pin her down onto the bed. Leaning down, he caught her lips with his. She deepened the kiss, sitting up to move closer. Scotty grabbed her hands, pinning them behind her back. Lilly melted against him, her eyelids fluttering shut. The blonde was so engrossed in the taste of him, she failed to feel the metal bracelet sliding over her wrist. Scotty chuckled against her lips. The blonde detective pulled away, her jaw dropping in disbelief. She glanced behind her.

"Did you just...handcuff me?"

Scotty grinned, and after fastening the cuffs together, gently pushed her shoulders until she fell back onto the mattress.

"What are you doing?" his partner asked nervously. The male detective merely smirked, straddling her hips. Lilly heard her breath hitch, and she struggled to free her legs. Scotty tightened his grip, slowly lifting the bottom of her vest.

"Relax, Lil," he murmured, leaning forward to brush his lips over hers. Breaking away, the male detective stretched across to the bedside table for the black marker. Lilly stiffened, eyeing him warily.

"What are you doing?" she repeated, her voice wavering with a mixture of uncertainty and suppressed desire. He wiggled his eyebrows, pressing hips more firmly into hers. A groan slipped from between her lips, and her eyes closed.

"I love you, you know," Scotty said quietly, uncapping the marker. Lilly shifted uncomfortably as the cold marker made contact with her skin. When he finally let her up a few minutes later, Lilly headed straight for the bathroom. She stood in front of the mirror, raising her vest to read what Scotty had written.

In big block capitals, stretching from one side of the bump to the other, the male detective had printed **PROPERTY OF SCOTTY VALENS**.

She laughed, shaking her head.

"Always, Scotty," she murmured, running her fingertips over the curve of their baby. "Always."

* * *

Hello. You've reached Customer Services. Here at FloatingAmoeba Inc., we're dedicated to improving our services. If you feel they're too out of character, or not in character at all, or just plain irritating, take a number and wait to be called. Alternatively, please click the purple button, and one of our employees will get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for taking the time to call. Beep. Click.


	5. Unforgiven

A/N I'M SORRY! You're all gonna hate me. But it couldn't be all fluff, could it? Don't answer that. Yes, I know this isn't a particularly great chapter, but I hope ya'll enjoy it all the same! **WE HAVE SMUT!** And, if you think this is a good thing, **WE HAVE ANGRY SMUT! **Thanks so much to everyone who's been reading and reviewing, and also thanks to you guys that have added this/me to your favorites! Gee, ya really do make me happy! :)

Disclaimer: As seen on TV. No cruelty to animals or disrespect for religious, racial, social, asocial, sexual or asexual minorities was EVER intended by ANYONE. If you find ANYTHING offending or politically correct on this page, it's a purely a product of your own imagination and NOT put there by me, but my long-lost identical twin sister of whom I might need to warn you...

* * *

"...OK, thanks. We'll be in touch."

Smiling to herself, Miller put the phone down. Vera looked up, frowning at her triumphant smirk.

"What're you damn happy about?"

"I just found our missin' suspect," she replied smugly.

"Yeah? And?" Vera pressed impatiently.

"And I know what the connection was between Claudia Blake and our vic."

Her final statement caught Jeffries' attention, and he sat back in his seat.

"Oh yeah?"

"I was going through Nick Reeves' financial records. He forked out for a hotel room over on Vine Street **six** times in a month."

"Looks like Squeaky Clean wasn't so clean," Vera chuckled.

"Guess the name on the credit card he used once."

"Claudia Blake?"

Miller grinned in satisfaction.

"Wrong. Claudia _Thayer._ Dug up a marriage certificate from '01. Claudia Thayer married Thomas Blake on the 3rd October 2001."

"So Claudia Blake, who used to be Claudia Thayer," Vera said slowly, "was doin' the nasty wit' our vic on the down low?"

"Damn straight," the female detective said happily. Vera sighed heavily.

"It took you all damn day to come up wit' that?"

"Sorry I couldn't work to your time schedule," she replied sarcastically. Jeffries chuckled.

"Shouldn't someone be waking Lil up around now?"

"Do we look like we want to die?"

Miller glanced towards the closed break room door, and reading the sign stuck there, turned back to glare at her chuckling counterparts.

"You're bastards. Both of you. Go and take it down," she ordered firmly. Vera rolled his eyes.

"Why you gotta be so demandin'? It ain't as if I stole her goddamn oatmeal this time."

"Just as well..."

His partner's sharp retort was lost as the break room door opened. Noting the three apprehensive faces staring in her direction, Lilly followed their line of vision, turning to see the sign stuck on the door. With sleepy eyes, she stared at it for a moment, before carefully pulling it off. Walking past Vera, Lilly slapped it into his chest.

"You spelt hormonal wrong."

* * *

Lilly carefully layered slices of cheese and ham on the bread, frowning. From his place in the armchair, Scotty flicked through the pages of a magazine.

"Maria?"

"You want to name our child after your mother?"

"OK, what about Thomas?"

"No."

Bringing her sandwich across to the sofa, his partner sat down, rubbing the small of her back. The male detective reached across to steal half of her snack.

"Hey!"

"What? I'm hungry!"

"Yeah, and I'm pregnant," she said menacingly. With a roll of his eyes, Scotty handed his half back.

"Kayla?"

"Possibly."

"What about Jorge?"

"It's the Spanish version of George."

"OK...Megan?"

"Nope."

Scotty sighed.

"You just gonna say no to every name I pick?" he said tiredly. Lilly glanced up, immediately hating herself for putting the look of frustrated defeat on his face. She stood up, sliding herself into his lap.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, "I didn't mean to upset you."

He looked up at her.

"It's like you don't even care, Lil."

"Maybe I don't," she replied softly. Scotty felt his eyes widen in shock.

"What do you mean?"

"I just want things to go back to normal."

"Without the baby?"

Lilly hesitated.

"I...don't know."

"I thought you was doin' OK?"

"So did everyone else. But it's like I'm drowning, Scotty, and I don't know what to do."

"You shoulda come to me, Lil. We could have talked about it!"

"But you were so happy! I didn't want to be the one to take that away."

He stood up suddenly, forcing his partner to quickly plant her feet on the floor to avoid falling.

"So what you're sayin' is that you don't really want this kid?" he said, his voice cold. Lilly looked away.

"That's not what I said."

"But it's what you were thinkin', right?"

The blonde buried her face in her hands.

"Scotty..."

"No, Lil, there ain't no gettin' out o' this one!" Scotty said, the volume of his voice rising. Lilly trembled with the effort of trying not to cry. She stood, heading for the bedroom, but felt a hand grasp her arm.

"Scotty!"

"Talk to me."

She struggled for a moment, staring at him with tears building in her eyes. He wasn't hurting her. It was more the idea of being unwillingly restrained that she hated.

"Let me go," she demanded, her voice trembling.

"Not until you tell when this," He gestured to the roundness between them, "stopped bein' a good thing."

She tried to prise her arm from his grip.

"Let me go," she repeated. Sighing in defeat, Scotty stepped aside, letting his partner run down the hall to their bedroom. He winced at the slamming of the door, and blowing out a slow breath, he collapsed against the wall.

"Forgive me, Father, if I have sinned in my mind or my thought, whether in word or deed," he murmured.

After a moment of silent prayer, Scotty pushed himself off the wall, walking slowly down the hall in search of his partner. He gently shut the door behind him, catching the slight hitch of her breath as he moved further into the room. In silence, the male detective stripped off his shirt, tossing it to the floor. He sat on the bed beside her, tensing as she rolled over to face him.

Seeing the tears shining on her cheeks, Scotty felt his chest tighten.

"You're an idiot if you think I don't want this child," Lilly said in a choked voice. He nodded.

"An' you're an idiot if you think that I'm done talkin' about this," he replied softly. Her eyes glittered in the darkness.

"I hate you."

Scotty sucked in a sharp breath, tears springing to his eyes.

"Then I guess we've got a problem," he replied sadly, crossing to the wardrobe and pulling out a new pair of pants and a clean shirt. He felt her eyes burning into his back, and stifled a sigh.

"Are you leaving?" Lilly asked in a small voice. He glanced back at her, his dark eyes flashing with a torrent of emotion.

"_We're_ leavin'. My parents are havin' a party remember?"

"You seriously feel like going to a party?"

"No," he said, "but we're gonna go, act normal, then come home an' finish this conversation."

Lilly wiped her eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Act normal," she repeated. _Normal. What's that again?_

* * *

Ben Valens slid into the booth opposite her.

"You've had an argument," he stated. Lilly looked up, shaking her head.

"No, we just haven't had a chance to..."

At his arched eyebrow, her voice trailed off, and Lilly sighed miserably.

"We had an argument," she admitted sadly. Ben stretched a hand over the table to cover hers.

"It can't have been that bad, _bella_."

Tears sprung to her eyes, and she looked away guiltily.

"I told him I wasn't sure if I wanted the baby."

Ben sucked in a sharp breath. He was silent for a moment, feeling her hand trembling beneath his.

"Do you?" he asked slowly. Lilly smiled sadly.

"There was one time, near the beginning. We thought we'd lost the baby. Scotty was so scared...and I was relieved," she whispered, her voice breaking and tears spilling onto her cheeks.

"Do you know why?"

"Because if nature screwed up, I knew I couldn't blame myself."

Scotty's father cleared his throat.

"My mother always used to say 'Mothers are angels in training', and I've only just worked out what it meant," he said softly, "Nobody's expecting this to be easy, Lilly."

"But it's like everything's suddenly...out of my control."

"Maybe it is," he pointed out gently, giving her hand a final squeeze and leaving her alone. As it turned out, her solitude was short lived, and it seemed as though the whole world was determined not to let her work her thoughts through.

"Lilly?"

Lilly looked up at Elena Valens, her eyes flicking curiously to the young man standing behind her.

"Lilly, I'd like you to meet someone," Scotty's sister said nervously. The detective stood, mustering up a small smile. Lena tugged the guy forward, her cheeks turning pink.

"Lil, this is Carlos."

"It's nice to meet you," Lilly said, barely concealing her amusement at their discomfort. Carlos nodded, a smile breaking across his face.

"Hey. Lena's told me all about you," he replied easily. Lena's blush deepened, and she shook her head.

"Not all..."

"What the hell are you doin' here?"

At the angry voice, Lilly felt her smile disappear, and turned to see Scotty glaring at the young man. Elena looked down at the floor in mortification, tears pricking her eyelids.

"Scotty," Lilly began gently. He ignored her, the muscle in his jaw clenching as he yanked his arm from her grasp.

"I asked you a question," he whispered, his low voice threatening. Elena grabbed his arm.

"Please, Scotty, don't..." she began tearfully.

"You invite him?" Scotty interrupted, turning on his sister, "After what he did to you?"

"Look, man..." Carlos began in a quiet voice.

"He put you in the fuckin' hospital, Lena!"

"It was an accident!" his sister protested.

"Scotty, man, you know I'd nev..."

"Shut the fuck up, you son of a bitch! I can't believe you think you can jus'..."

Recognising the looks on their faces, Lilly caught her partner's arm, leading him out of the diner. He stormed down the street, running his hands through his hair. Stopping suddenly, he kicked the lamppost, kicked until his toes were numb, before turning sharply and walking back to his partner.

Lilly watched all this in silence, waiting for him to decide which way his temper was going to settle. He glared at her, pacing up and down the concrete in frustration. Lilly sat down on the wall, waiting for him to return to her. When Scotty finally came to a stop in front of her, she looked up. He sighed heavily.

"Fuck!"

Lilly reached for his hand, tentatively tangling her fingers through his. After a moment, he sat down beside her.

"Fuck," he repeated in a quieter voice. Lilly squeezed his hand.

"I know you're still mad at me for this morning," she said softly, "but I know what I want to say now."

Taking a deep breath, Scotty stared down at their joined hands.

"I'm listenin'," he murmured. Lilly glanced at him in surprise, and began to explain.

"We've been together for the best part of a year. And that's been the greatest year of my life, Scotty. I'm just scared that when Peanut finally makes an appearance..."

"That we ain't gonna be the same."

She nodded, letting her fingers wander over his knuckles.

"I didn't mean it," she said softly. Scotty glanced at her.

"Didn't mean what?"

"When I said I hated you. I didn't mean it."

"You sure about that?"

Her eyes flicked to his, quickly returning to the ground.

"If I hate anyone, it's only myself for being...the way I am."

Taking his silence as a sign for her to continue, Lilly took a deep breath.

"I'm scared, Scotty. Terrified, actually. But who are we trying to kid, Scotty? We weren't ready for this!"

"So you were jus' gonna give up? Like it don't mean anythin'?"

"Of course it means something! I'm not my mother, Scotty. I do love this child."

Scowling fiercely, Scotty suddenly grabbed her wrist, pulling her upright. He almost dragged her into the alley, all but throwing her up against the wall. Lilly gasped in surprise and pain, but the sound was lost as his lips crashed down on hers. He gripped her hips with one hand, using the other on the back of her head to deepen their kiss.

Lilly gasped again, quickly turning it to a groan when Scotty slid his hand beneath her shirt and let his fingertips wander over the curve of her breast. He was angry. She could taste it. He was angry, and she was his outlet, and the bruising force with which he was taking her told Lilly that she was completely powerless to stop him. Growling in frustration, Scotty lifted her up, his hands roughly cupping her backside.

"No, Scotty..."

Ignoring her, the male detective savagely undid her shirt, before biting a gentle trail down over her chest. Lilly tugged her bottom lip into her mouth, determined not to be the first to ruin their silent game. He reached around behind her, fumbling for the clasp of her bra, pressing his hardness into her.

"Scotty...we can't..." she said, breathlessly giving in and pushing at his hands. He hesitated, pulling back slightly and thinking maybe he should stop, but when Lilly unwittingly released a soft moan, his fears melted away.

"I need to know I ain't losin' you," he whispered. She nodded slowly, and Scotty captured her lips again. They both knew what he wanted. They both knew she'd let him take it, no holds barred. Roughly shoving her panties down to her knees, Scotty rubbed his tip against her entrance, earning himself a satisfied nip to the shoulder. He pushed himself into her, plunging all the way in to his hilt.

Feeling her warmth surrounding his length, the male detective pulled out, then drove into her again, roughly gripping her hips as he began to pound in and out. Lilly stifled a cry of pleasure in his shoulder, and met each of his thrusts with her own.

"Scotty…" she gasped.

"¡Jesús, María y José! ¿Dónde estás, hijo?"

The couple froze.

"Mom?" Scotty said slowly. Lilly heard her breath catch as he slipped out of her.

"Scotty? Where are you? Is Lilly with you?"

"Yeah, mama. We're here."

His mother was silent for a moment.

"I don't want to come down there, do I?" she said eventually. Scotty glanced down at his partner. Her eyes filled with tears, and she looked down at the ground in mortification.

"No," he replied. Maria took in a deep breath.

"Right. I just wanted to make sure everything was OK. IS everything OK?"

"Ma..."

"Lilly?" Maria interrupted gently. The blonde detective hastily wiped her eyes.

"Fine. We're fine. We'll be right in."

A tense silence fell across them, until they heard the door open again. As Maria Valens disappeared back into the diner, the couple breathed a sigh of relief. Their eyes finally met, and Lilly watched the lust drain out of him, only to be replaced by a dark guilt. He slowly set her on the ground, releasing his tight grip on her and taking a step backwards. The blonde detective replaced her panties, straightening her top and pulling down her skirt. Her partner turned away, fumblingly sorting out his boxers and refastening the button and zip on his slacks. Lilly waited, watching as a look of terror crept across his face.

Suddenly kneeling down in front of her, Scotty pushed her hands aside. His trembling fingers ran over the bump, his face paling with every moment that passed without a movement.

"Why ain't he movin'? Lil, why ain't she movin'?" he cried frantically.

"Because Peanut's sleeping, Scotty," Lilly replied gently. He looked up uncertainly.

"Yeah?"

Lilly pulled him up, sliding her hands into his.

"Yeah."

Scotty shook his head.

"How can you be sure?"

"Scotty. You really think I would have let you hurt us?" He sighed sadly. Lilly raised her hands to his face, smoothing her thumbs over the ridges of his cheekbones, "Besides," she said softly, "we all know Peanut and I could kick your ass."

Scotty blinked away tears, looking at her uncertainly.

"I'm sorry. I jus'..."

"It's OK."

"Really?"

Lilly nodded, smiling slightly. Stretching up onto her tiptoes, she kissed him, tangling her fingers around the material of his shirt.

"Really. Not too pleased at being left high and dry, though," she replied teasingly. Scotty rested his forehead against hers, his dark eyes searching hers.

"I'm sorry. I didn't..."

She clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Scotty. Stop thinking. I was a willing participant," she explained slowly. Scotty cracked a tiny smile.

"Seize the moment," he said sheepishly. Lilly nodded.

"Seize the moment," she echoed.

"So are we OK?" Scotty asked softly. Her eyes grew dark with sadness, a little bit of fear and a whole load of regret.

"I don't know," she admitted, "but I think we need to talk."

* * *

I just realized that was more semi-smut than full blown smut. Oh well. Don't forget to leave me a review on you're way out, otherwise I might have to set my long-lost identical twin on you...


	6. Crash

A/N -sings- I'm a little teapot, short and stout...Oh. Hey you guys! Well, if you couldn't tell, I'm feeling kinda crazy. I think it's because I'm so hyped up on chocolate. I really should know better...anyway, I hope everybody had a great Easter! Now, this chapter will land me in a whole heap of trouble. I know. Now you're all thinking "WTF?", but just bear with me. It may seem random, but all will be revealed! I promise. ENJOY!

Disclaimer: I was looking at the Redi-Mix packet, and it said 'Not for outside use'. Edited for television, trespassers will be prosecuted (I have a black belt in karate, so don't doubt that I won't kick yo' ass) and remember, no animals or alien lifeforms were harmed (much) in the making of this story.

* * *

Miller glanced up, doing a double take at the figure making her way over.

"You shouldn't be here."

Lilly rolled her eyes.

"Do you know how boring it is sitting at home?"

"Still shouldn't be here," Miller sang.

"Look, I'm even wearing jeans!"

The curly haired detective couldn't help but laugh at her friend.

"Alright, Lil. Hey, where's Valens?"

"He's not feeling too good," Lilly said quietly, "so he's taking a sick day."

Something in the blonde's voice caught Miller's attention.

"Everything OK?" she asked casually. Lilly caught her gaze for a second, and Kat saw the real answer there. Her friend cleared her throat, breaking the awkward pause.

"How's the case looking?"

Miller stared at her for another minute, before turning to her computer screen.

"You heard that Claudia Blake was doing the dirty with our vic, right? So she's our number one suspect, but Vera and Jeffries are looking at the Mob boss."

"Carlos Riviera? I thought he turned up squeaky clean?"

"You mean as squeaky clean as a crime lord can be?" Miller smirked. Lilly nodded.

"Yeah, that," she admitted with a smile.

"Lilly?"

The blonde detective turned, her smile widening at the sight of Maria Valens standing nearby.

"Hey. What are you doing here?"

"Well, I just wanted to check everything was OK after last night. I called the house but I didn't get an answer," Maria replied. Lilly frowned.

"No? Scotty should be there. He took the day off because he's not feeling well. Maybe he's asleep."

Maria chuckled, following the detective into the break room.

"That does sound like Scotty," she laughed. Lilly smiled, setting a mug of fresh coffee down on the table.

"You didn't have to come all the way down here," she murmured. Maria shrugged.

"I was just wondering how you managed to calm him down after Carlos' visit."

The blonde detective sat down opposite her, a slight frown creasing her brow.

"I didn't get the whole story on that," she said slowly. Maria sighed, taking a sip of her coffee.

"You're family now, so I think you can know. Carlos is to Elena what Scotty is to you, Lilly, but they haven't been as lucky as you two."

"Scotty said..."

"Forget what Scotty said. He and Miguel have very...distorted views when it comes to _la hermana pequeña_. Now, Elena moved in with him the day she turned 18. Three years later, Lena's $3000 overdrawn and Carlos has a drug problem."

"What kind of drugs?"

"PCP, _el __é__xtasis._"

Lilly nodded in understanding.

"A PCP high. That's how Elena ended up in hospital," she said. Maria chuckled, shaking her head in wonder.

"I always knew you were a good detective. I didn't know you were THAT good," she teased. Lilly smiled.

"A while around this place and anyone's good enough."

The older woman smirked.

"I do think your detective skills need fine tuning if you think I don't know what was going on in that alleyway last night."

"Oh God..." Lilly murmured in embarrassment.

"I should have known, really, that when two people disappear for longer than five minutes, and I can't hear the sounds of conversation..." Her voice trailed off, and Lilly blushed bright red.

"Please don't," she groaned. Maria chuckled.

"I always wondered why Scotty did everything you asked him to," she continued, "I guess that must be why."

"Scotty doesn't do _everything _I say."

"Most things. Like pretending that you weren't in the middle of an argument about the baby?"

Lilly turned pink.

"Oh. You heard about that, huh?"

"My husband did mention a conversation you two had," her partner's mother said softly. The blonde detective sighed heavily, resting her head in her palm.

"Is this normal?"

Maria felt her face soften, smiling affectionately.

"Yes, child. When I was pregnant with _tu novio, _I thought it was the worst thing to ever happen to me. I regularly told Benito that I hated him for cursing me like this."

Lilly smiled a tiny smile, thinking for a minute. She eventually looked up at the older woman, her blue eyes dark with different emotions.

"Thanks," she said softly."I'm pretty certain Scotty's still mad at me, though."

"Did you talk to him?"

"I tried."

Miller stuck her head around the door.

"Rush, your phone's going crazy. You want me to take it?"

"No, I got it," Lilly sighed, standing up and heading for her desk.

"I'm gonna stay in here. Find out all the juicy gossip on you and Valens," Miller said.

"Please don't," the blonde replied.

"You say something?" Miller teased. Lilly picked up her phone, sitting in her seat. Kat grinned, backing up into the break room.

"Rush," the blonde detective answered, rolling her eyes at her colleague.

"Lilly Rush? This is New York Hospital calling…"

* * *

When Lilly was 12 and her sister five, Christina had fallen over in the playground, busted up her knee. The nurse had dispatched a messenger to Lilly's home room, claiming that Christina wouldn't stop crying until her sister got there. Lilly had run out of class, heading straight for the medical room, feeling panic rise up in her stomach.

Now, as Lilly raced into the emergency room at New York Hospital, Queens...that feeling was ten times worse. The nurse at the desk looked up in alarm.

"Ma'am, can I help you?"

Lilly flashed her badge, her heart beating wildly in her chest.

"Detective Lilly Rush. My sister was brought in? Christina Rush?" she said hurriedly, the words falling out of her mouth before she could think about them. The nurse moved around the counter, her eyes tightening concernedly.

"Are you sure you're OK? Ma'am, I think you should sit down."

It was the baby, Lilly realized. A pregnant woman arrives out of breath and probably looking like hell, all thoughts go straight to the child. She blinked, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. She shifted uncomfortably, subconciously resting a hand beneath her bump.

"No, I'm fine."

The nurse was doubtful, almost to the point of forcibly admitting the detective to the maternity unit. Lilly could see it in her eyes, so she smiled reassuringly.

"Really. If you could just help me find my sister..."

"I can page Dr Lincoln for you. Come on, I'll take you up to the ICU."

It seemed that all hospitals were built with that same smell imbedded in their walls- mixture of soap powder, laundry detergent and disinfectant. Lilly hated that smell. The nurse led her through the hospital corridors, left, right, up stairs, left again...

And then there she was. Seeing her sister lying in the hospital bed made Lilly falter in her steps, clutching at the doorframe with scrabbling fingers. The nurse behind her stepped forward in alarm.

"Detective? Are you alright?" she asked. The voice was distant in her ears, but somehow she managed to nod slowly. She heard her speak again.

"Do you want me to get an obstetrician?"

"No," Lilly heard herself say, "it's fine. Thank you."

Another voice.

"Detective Rush?"

Lilly turned, tearing her eyes away from the impossibly small figure lying motionless.

"Yes?"

"Dr Lincoln," he said, extending a hand, "I'm looking after your sister."

"What happened?" she asked, ignoring his outstretched palm. Dr Lincoln nodded solemnly.

"There was a fight at the jail. Your sister was caught in the middle. She suffered several blows to the head before..."

"Where were the guards?" Lilly interrupted.

"You'd have to ask the prison Warden, detective. As I was saying, Christina has an extradural haemorrhage. It means she's bleeding into the space between her skull bone and the protective layer surrounding the brain. We're running a series of tests to determine what exactly is going on in there, but we're hopeful."

While he had been talking, Lilly's eyes had returned to Christina. A frown creased her forehead.

"Her wrist," she stated. Dr Lincoln chuckled slightly.

"She broke it during the fight. We plastered it, and it should start healing in the next few weeks."

The blonde detective was silent for a long while, and the two medical staff exchanged concerned glances.

"I want to take her home."

"Back to Philadelphia?" Dr Lincoln confirmed. Lilly finally turned to look at him.

"She'll need someone to look after her, right? I'm the only person she's got." He nodded in understanding.

"I'll get you the forms. The prison director is expecting your call, by the way."

"I bet he is," Lilly murmured sarcastically. The nurse laughed.

"You can go in, if you want. She should be waking up any minute."

"Thanks."

She slipped into the room, letting the door click shut behind her. Taking a seat in the chair beside the bed, Lilly let her hand wander up Christina's arm, brushing a stray lock of hair from her pale cheek. Her fingers smoothed down the dark blonde hair, and Christina stirred, turning her head further into Lilly's touch.

"Lil..." she mumbled. The detective smiled, and continued to stroke her sister's hair.

"I'm here," she said gently, "I'm here."

Christina's eyes shot open, and seeing her older sister sitting beside her, she burst into tears.

"Hey, take it easy," Lilly soothed.

"I'm sorry." Lilly wrapped Chris in her arms, resting her cheek on her sister's curly blonde hair.

"I'm so sorry," Christina whispered over and over again. Lilly hugged her tighter, as best as she could without dislodging the machines.

"It's OK."

She felt the baby kick, and a tiny spark of joy bounced up inside her.

"We're going home, Chris. I'm taking you home."

"Home?"

"Back to Philly. With me."

"But what about...?" Christina asked uncertainly.

"I'm just about to find out. I'll be right back."

* * *

"...this person is not available to take your call. Please leave a message after the tone."

Lilly sighed, pacing the small patch of concrete outside the ER.

"Hey, it's me. So...you're either asleep or ignoring me. Either way, I thought you'd want to know Chris is in hospital. We, uh...we'll be back in Philly by tonight. Both of us, so uh...Anyway, I hope you're feeling better, and I'll see you tonight. Love you. Bye."

With shaking hands, Lilly dialled another number. After a few seconds, Miller picked up.

"Rush? You just leave me here with Romeo's mother? Where the hell are you?" she demanded straight off.

"New York," the blonde detective replied, her voice cracking.

"Why are you...? Oh, crap," Kat said, realising what, or who, had forced her friend to head out of state. Lilly felt her breath catch, tears springing to her eyes. Hearing her colleague's choked silence, Miller swallowed.

"Lil?" she pressed softly. Lilly took a deep breath.

"Christina's in hospital. It's not...she doesn't look good."

Miller swore softly.

"Shit, Lil. What can I do?"

"I'm having her transferred to Penn State Hospital. We'll be back in a couple of hours. Maybe you could...never mind."

"Maybe I could what, Lil?"

"Call Scotty. He's not picking up. I think he's..."

"I'm on it, Lil," Kat interrupted gently.

"Thanks, Kat," the blonde whispered. Just as Lilly was about to hang up, Miller spoke again.

"Hey, Lil?"

"Yeah?"

"You need to talk, just call me, OK? No matter what?"

Lilly slowly snapped her phone shut.

* * *

As the dial tone filled her ear, Miller closed her eyes. Stillman waited for her eyes to reopen, and then took a step forward.

"Lil's in New York. Christina is in hospital," she stated. Vera and Jeffries exchanged glances.

"Where's Scotty?"

Stillman shook his head.

"He's not answering his cell phone, or the home line."

"Rush on her way back?" Vera asked.

"Having Chris transferred to Penn State," Miller said.

"ETA an hour and a half," the lieutenant added.

"With lights she can make it in under an hour."

Miller nodded.

"She can't get hold of Scotty, boss. You don't think he...?"

"I think someone needs to find him," Stillman said, hearing her voice trail off. "Kat, you've got a key?"

"On it, boss."

"Vera, head over to Scotty's parents place. See if they've heard from him."

Jeffries grabbed his jacket.

"I'll do the clubs and bars. What about you, boss?"

"I'm going to meet her at the hospital. Come find us when you've found something."

* * *

Sure enough, when Lilly hurried into the hospital, the stretcher bearing Chris a half second behind her, Stillman was leaning against the nurses' station. Without a word, he followed Lilly, watching as the younger Rush was wheeled into a side room.

As the door closed in her face, Lilly seemed to collapse in on herself.

"Lilly," Stillman said gently. She jumped, glancing over her shoulder at him. Her hand found her cell phone, flipping it open and hitting speed-dial.

"...this person is not available to take your call. Please leave a message after the tone."

She swore softly, looking through the window as the Philadelphia went over their recent acquisition.

"What can I do?" Stillman asked.

"You can buy me a new fucking cell phone, because this one doesn't seem to be working. I haven't been able to get Scotty all day."

"No?"

"No. It must be the network coverage or something."

A silence stretched between them, until Stillman cleared his throat.

"It wasn't your fault, you know. What happened to Chris. I know you think you have to look out for her, but..."

Lilly whirled around.

"Don't you get it? This **was** my fault! It's ALWAYS my fault!" Stillman held out his hands calmingly.

"Lil, you can't blame yourse..."

The look of complete devastation in her eyes made him pause, the words disappearing from his tongue.

"I spoke to the Warden. The...they found out I was a cop. Because of me," Lilly whispered, "four of those...They kicked her, and punched her, until the only thing she could say was 'stop'."

Her silent tears dripped from her cheeks onto her shirt. Stillman felt his own eyes fill. Daring to hope that the changes he had seen in her weren't just part of his imagination, he reached out, breathing a sigh of relief as Lilly collapsed against him. Feeling her slim frame shaking uncontrollably, Stillman realised why Scotty was so protective. He rubbed circles on her back, feeling, with a great sense of pride, Lilly's bump pressing against his waist. The lieutenant remembered a time when he would have killed to comfort his own daughter this way.

"Hush, child," he murmured, "Hush now."

"Rush?" a soft voice asked. Lilly straightened, hastily wiping a hand over her eyes.

"Yeah?" she said, hating the waver in her voice. Vera, Jeffries and Miller moved closer, their faces stony. Stillman let his eyes move over them, his frown deepening. Jeffries glared at the floor, shaking his head slightly. Lilly copied her boss' action, looking at each of them in turn, the confusion in her eyes almost too much for Miller to bear.

"Where's Scotty?" she asked in a small voice. Stillman swallowed the lump that had appeared in his throat.

"Lil..."

Catching the tone of his voice, Lilly looked around at them all again, her eyes narrowing menacingly.

"Where's…Scotty?" she repeated dangerously.

The four detectives exchanged wary glances, until Stillman tilted his head to the other end of the corridor. Vera, Jeffries and Miller walked hastily down the hall, pushing each other out of the way in their haste to escape. Stillman watched them disappear around the corner, and not looking back, the trio waited with held breath.

It was less than a minute before Lilly's irate voice reached their ears.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS?"

* * *

"...he wouldn't just leave," she repeated for the fifth time, shutting the car door and running up the path.

"Lilly..." Stillman attempted, knowing that nothing good could come from whatever lay behind the closed door.

"No, boss, he wouldn't just leave."

"His parents haven't been able to get hold of him, neither has Mike. He's not picking up at home."

"But he wouldn't just leave without saying goodbye!"

Lilly had the door unlocked and opened in a matter of seconds.

"Scotty?"

Leaving it wide open, she flew through the house, calling his name, looking in the kitchen, the bathroom, calling his name, the spare bedroom...

When all the rooms turned up empty, Lilly walked slowly back into the living room, her chest tightening with every step. The heartbroken look on her face made Stillman take a concerned step in her direction.

She blinked, and with a slight shake of her head, let the tears and confusion build up in her eyes.

"He's gone."

* * *

**See**, Beth? I TOLD you that there was a good reason to be mad at Scotty. Although he isn't taking calls at the moment, he did pick up when I rang, and he wanted me to remind you that all fan mail and/or hate mail has to go through ME via a review. He really was adamant that I pass the message on.


	7. All In All

A/N I know, I know, I suck. And it's what, 4:30am? This is another one o' them nothin' chapters. I kinda just threw it together because I felt bad for making you wait. But I had some crazy Reality Checks to sort out, and then I didn't know where to go with this story. Anyway. I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near any magnetic source. May be hazardous to your health. Can cause extreme addiction if not properly handled. Withdrawal and obsession likely if characters are removed without due cause. We're not in Kansas anymore.

* * *

She'd been trembling for hours now, mumbling under her breath and letting tears drip onto her pillow. Her hair was plastered to her forehead, the sheets tangled around her legs. Stillman couldn't quite bring himself to wake her.

"Someone should stay with her."

At the voice from his elbow, the lieutenant turned. Manning smiled sadly, looking around him at the woman asleep on the bed.

"She already said she wants to be alone. What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to help. So what's missing?"

"All of his clothes. His badge, his gun. His cell phone."

Manning shook her head.

"This isn't him," she murmured. Stillman gave her a sideways glance.

"You think there's something else happening here?"

"I don't know. He wouldn't just leave, would he?"

Stillman shrugged, his eyes saddened as he gazed at the sleeping woman.

"I never thought he would. Now I'm not so sure."

* * *

_Lilly was leaning against the wall, looking down at the small bump._

"_You better be a cute baby. I really hope I'm not going through all of this for an ugly baby."_

"_You know talkin' to yourself is the first sign of madness, right?"_

_She turned to smile at her partner._

"_I think Peanut's sleeping." Scotty walked across, kissing his girlfriend gently on the lips._

"_You should follow Peanut's lead."_

"_Scotty, I'm fine."_

"_Lil, you gotta get some sleep! Come on."_

_He tugged on her hand, leading her down the hall to their bedroom. Just outside the door, Lilly squeezed his hand, and pulled him back towards her._

"_I'm glad you're here," she said seriously. Scotty nodded, pressing a loving kiss to her forehead._

"_I know."_

That single scene seemed to be on replay in her mind, and Lilly hated it. She hated it. She hated it, because it was a lie. She'd barely slept the night before. She heard Stillman, the phone Ma...Manning? What was she doing there? And it was like a dream. She would open her eyes and blink and he would be there. And she wouldn't be scared or hurt or angry. They would be normal. Just as soon as she opened her eyes...

She hated it.

Lilly dropped her personal belongings onto her desk, for once not bothering to tidy them away. Taking a deep breath, she moved towards Stillman's office, sighing in relief as she realized her colleagues had yet to see her. Jeffries stopped speaking as the office door opened. There was a sharp intake of breath. Lilly looked absolutely awful. Stillman moved towards her, gently touching her elbow.

"You shouldn't be here."

"Then take me home," she replied, and with a sigh, the lieutenant knew that he'd let her stay. Satisfied, Lilly removed her arm from his grip, looking around at the others.

"Simon Jessup filed a complaint against Nick Reeves for misrepresentation. Think it might be worth looking into?" she said quietly. Her suggestion was greeted with silence. Lilly felt it, pressing down on her like a ten ton weight.

"Go home," Manning said softly, "or go be with your sister. Don't stay here."

There's a moment, when you know something's going to happen, and you try and you try to stop it, but it just...happens. And watching Lilly begin the slow spiral into self-destruction... It was as if it Manning's words had finally broken Lilly. She spun around, deep blue eyes flashing in pain.

"And then what, Ellie? I go home, to an empty house, to a sister who **regularly** tries to ruin my life, and then what? Stand at the window and wait for him to come back? Keep wondering if that's his car coming now?"

"Why not?"

"He's not coming back, Ellie!" the blonde detective snapped.

"How do you know?" Ellie shot back. Tears spilled over her eyelids, and Lilly barely managed to control the break in her voice.

"Enough. We have work to do," she whispered, abruptly turning on her heel and leaving them standing in shock. Manning cleared her throat, disappearing in the opposite direction with her cheeks flaming. As the door shut behind them, Miller shook her head in wonder.

"Wow."

"Lilly's right. We have work to do," Stillman said.

"You're not letting her stay are you?" Jeffries asked incredulously. The lieutenant nodded. Vera chuckled in disbelief.

"You ain't serious? Jesus, boss, you seen her today?"

"Yes, Nick, I have," Stillman snapped, "and in case you've forgotten, the last time she was like this, I let her get shot, so if it's alright with you, I need to keep an eye on her."

It had been a long time since they'd heard him that angry. Thoroughly apprehended, and looking like a remorseful schoolboy, Vera shuffled his feet, glaring at the floor. After a moment he glanced up, his face dark and a deep frown set in his brow.

"You think Lil's in a sharin' mood? I feel like some o' her oatmeal."

Miller chuckled, placing a comforting hand on his arm.

"Go ahead and try. Just don't come runnin' to me when she bites your head off."

* * *

For the first five days, it was easy for the team to pretend that Lilly's heart wasn't broken. For the first five days, there was still the hope that he'd be back by the end of the day. But when Friday came and went, then Saturday, then Sunday until it was finally Monday again, it became obvious that Scotty wasn't coming back.

His cell phone had been disconnected. His parents hadn't seen or heard from him, nor had Mike or Elena. It was as if he had simply vanished. That, Lilly reasoned, was far better than considering the more likely possibilities.

As the team finished off the paper work for another day, Manning glanced around at them.

"Has anyone spoken to Lil?" she asked. Stillman shook his head.

"She's having some quality time with Peanut."

"Who managed to convince her to stay home?" Jeffries chuckled.

"I actually think it was Peanut."

Coming from the break room, a donut in her hand and sugar around her lips, Miller stopped by Manning's desk.

"We're going to see Lil. You wanna come?"

"No thanks."

The curly haired detective sighed. _What the hell is wrong with you, Ellie?_

"You ready?" Vera called, pulling on his jacket. Miller stared at her younger colleague for a moment, before turning away with a sigh of frustration.

"Yeah, I'm comin'."

* * *

"Where is she? This damn ice cream is meltin' all over my new suit!"

"Quit your whining, fatass. You've eaten half the tub, and I'm sure you could buy another suit like that for less than a dollar."

"Well, cheap clothes are more your style, Miller, so you better fill me in on that."

Miller hammered on the front door again, glaring at her colleague.

"Rush! You're killin' me here! Open up!" she shouted. When Lilly finally opened the door, her eyes widened in amusement.

"Uh...hey, guys. What are you doing?"

Vera stabbed his spoon back into the tub.

"Waitin' for you to open the damn door," he replied grumpily. She smirked, eyeing the half eaten pot in his hands.

"And you had to eat my ice cream while you waited?"

"Couldn't let it melt," Miller replied around a mouthful of frozen dessert. Letting them in through the door, Lilly gestured to the kitchen, and Vera disappeared to put the melting ice cream away. Miller winced. Seeing her colleague covering her ears, Lilly jogged through the house, switching off all the CD players and radios that seemed almost deafening. When she finally appeared back in the living room, Lilly shrugged apologetically.

"Sorry."

"Why the hell do you have every damn music player on at the same time?"

"House is too quiet without him," the blonde detective replied with a sad smile. Miller fought against the temptation to envelope her friend in a tight hug.

"You don't have to pretend, Lil. I won't tell anyone if you cry," she said softly. Lilly blushed, looking away. After a moment, she cleared her throat, hoping that when she finally spoke, her voice wouldn't give away the fact that she was fighting back tears with everything she had.

"There are bowls in the cupboard above the microwave. Sorry about the mess."

Miller chuckled, looking around.

"What mess? Lil, the place is spotless." _Not to mention empty, _she added silently. The blonde detective turned back to Miller.

"So...you're here," she said slowly. Her dark haired colleague froze, hearing the amused and teasing tone being aimed at her.

"Yes," she replied guardedly.

"Both of you?"

"Yes..."

"Together?"

"Rush..."

Lilly bit her bottom lip, and fighting back an 'I told you so', she let the subject go.

"Can I get you a drink?" she asked. Miller shook her head, glancing at the clock.

"We can't stay. I have to pick Veronica up from my mom's, and Vera said he'd give me a ride."

The smile slid from Lilly's face.

"Oh. No problem. I guess I'll see you tomorrow," she said in a small voice. Miller took a step forwards.

"Are you OK?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it's just..."

"You really miss him," came the voice from behind them.

Both women turned to see Vera leaning against the kitchen doorframe. He shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. Lilly felt tears spring to her eyes at his simple statement, and she led the way to the door, hastily scrubbing a hand over her face. An unbelievable sadness swept through her friends. They exchanged concerned glances, but said nothing. _This is her fight. She needs us, she'll ask us, _Vera told himself.

"Thanks for coming over," Lilly continued, "You didn't have to."

Climbing into their vehicle, Kat and Vera watched as she disappeared back into the house, the door closing behind her. From the car, they heard the music start up again, until one by one all of the stereo systems were switched on once more.

"I don't know what's worse," Vera said in a low voice, "seein' her in tears, or seein' her tryin' to pretend she's OK."

Miller glanced across at him, her hand trembling slightly as it rested on the gear stick.

"Where do you think he is?" she asked quietly. Vera shook his head.

"I don't know. Part o' me hopes he gets what he deserves for leavin'. The other's prayin' to God that he's OK," he replied, his voice equally as muted. The female detective heard her breath catch, and she angrily swiped a hand across her eyes. They descended into silence, eyes staring straight ahead, fixed on a point somewhere in the distance.

It was Miller who was first to break the silence, her voice barely audible.

"You're not plannin' any sudden departures, are you?"

Vera looked across at her.

"No," he said softly, covering her hand with his own, "I ain't."

* * *

So I figure if you take one relationship out of the equation, you have to make up for it using the other. There ya go. Oh hey, I spoke to Scotty again (before his number was disconnected) and he wanted me to let you know that he's sorry for not being here, but his...situation, has changed. He's not having a very good time. If you leave me a nice review (please), I might be persuaded to tell you where he is. Yeah, I know you all want to look after Scotty Valens!


	8. Strong Again

A/N OK, hey you guys! How are we all doing today? I'm sorry about the slight wait- I've been really quite ill. Actually, somebody replaced my stomach with mush and stuck it in the washing machine. Anyway, here's the next chapter! I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I don't Cold Case. I don't own the song either, which is 'Lost'. Now, this song was written by Kara DioGuardi (yes, I watch American Idol) and performed by Faith Hill, but I think Kara's own version is about six jazillion times better. You should check it out on YouTube.

* * *

Staring straight ahead, Lilly hugged her arms around her waist, cradling Peanut against her. From inside, the radio sent music out into the night, each verse punctuated by the steady thrum of conversation.

**Is it obvious to you  
When you walk into a room  
Your face is all I see  
And my heart races so fast  
I never knew a rush to feel like that  
Every time you're touching me**

**I never did believe in anything  
I couldn't hold between my fingers  
But the way you make me feel  
It's just so real the way it lingers**

The porch door opened. Allie sat down beside her, stretching her legs out to rest them on the steps.

"I brought you some soup," she said quietly. Lilly looked up, her gratefulness mixed with a large dose of confusion. Allie shrugged.

"I figure you're not coming in until Scotty shows up or your water breaks, so you might as well be comfortable."

"Thanks," the detective whispered.

**I get lost inside your stare, lost when you're not there  
And everything I have, doesn't mean a thing if it's without you  
If it's a dream, don't wake me up  
I'll scream if this isn't love  
If bein' lost means never knowin' how it feels without you  
I wanna stay lost forever  
I wanna stay lost forever with you**

They listened in silence, until Allie spoke again.

"I want you to know that you're welcome to stay here for as long as you need."

"It was...nice, of you to invite me."

"You're family...with or without that _hijo de puta_."

A tiny smile appeared on Lilly's face, disappearing just as quickly as it had arrived.

**No this feelin' doesn't end  
It's with me everywhere I am  
Hope it never goes away  
It's like defying gravity  
I'm losing all control in bein' free  
And I always wanna stay**

**I never thought that I'd let go long enough  
To fall for someone deeply  
Who had the power to erase my fears  
And find me so completely**

"So where do you think he is?" Allie asked. Lilly glanced sideways, shrugging slightly.

"I thought about it, every day, for the first week. Was he kidnapped, was he undercover?"

"And you turned up blank?"

"How many kidnappers have you heard of that pack a whole suitcase of clothes?" Lilly replied, "And if he was undercover, why wouldn't he tell me?"

The brunette sighed.

"I can't answer that Lil," she said. Lilly shook her head.

"Everything just keeps coming back to what I told him."

"Before the party?"

Lilly sighed in frustration.

"You heard about that too, huh?" she said sarcastically. Allie laughed.

"You love it."

**I get lost inside your stare, lost when you're not there  
And everything I have doesn't mean a thing if it's without you  
If it's a dream, don't wake me up  
I'll scream if this isn't love  
If bein' lost means never knowin' how it feels without you  
I wanna stay lost****  
**  
**Don't tell me where we're goin'  
I don't wanna know, I like the mystery  
I can't believe we've come this far  
So far away from where we started off  
You found me when I wasn't lookin'  
You found me**

The blonde detective sniffed tearfully.

"Do you really think I made him leave?"

"I think...Scotty made a bad decision," Allie replied slowly.

"Why?" Lilly asked in a tiny voice. Allie wrapped an arm around her friend.

"That's something only he knows the answer to."

**And now I'm lost inside your stare, lost when you're not there  
And everything I have doesn't mean a thing if it's without you  
If it's a dream, don't wake me up  
I'll scream if this isn't love  
If bein' lost means never knowin' how it feels without you**

**Yeah, if bein' lost means never knowin' how it feels without you  
Oh, if bein' lost means that I'm never gonna be without you  
I wanna stay lost forever  
I wanna stay lost forever with you.**

"I miss him."

"I know."

* * *

The next morning, it was as if things had finally started returning to normal. Stillman and his team stopped short as they entered the department, blinking in surprise at the familiar figure sitting at her desk.

"Didn't we already discuss the definition of maternity leave?" the lieutenant said sternly. Lilly smiled sheepishly.

"I know. And I'll be out of here by four, I promise," she replied quickly. Vera looked into the break room, a broad smile breaking across his face.

"You brought donuts?"

"And coffee," Lilly added. Miller frowned.

"You better not be drinking Joe, Rush." The blonde detective waved her polystyrene cup in the air.

"100% pure fruit."

Stillman shook his head.

"What is this, Lilly?" he asked seriously. Her smile faded.

"I know...I haven't been the best person to be around lately," she said, looking pointedly at Manning, "but I'm taking maternity leave seriously now. Well, sort of."

Jeffries chuckled.

"We're just glad you're OK," he replied, disappearing into the break room. Lilly stood up, moving closer to Manning.

"Ellie?" she asked uncertainly. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, the youngest detective felt her cell phone vibrate against her hip, and she smiled apologetically. Lilly sighed.

"Hello?" Manning said, moving a little way away from her colleagues. Miller watched her curiously, glancing up at Lilly.

"She still mad at you?"

"I have no idea," the pregnant woman replied, shrugging slowly, "and I'm not entirely sure what I did to piss her off in the first place."

"Well, you did kinda shout at her."

"I shouted at everyone," Lilly pointed out, her attention returning to the angry conversation she could hear. Manning ran a frustrated hand through her hair.

"No, Dean, come on! That's not fair. I know your mother needs to...please, Dean, don't do this! It's only two days! Please, Dean...Dean?"

Whoever 'Dean' was had obviously disconnected the call, because Manning swore softly, snapping her phone shut. Lilly returned to her desk, deciding now wasn't the best time to open that particular can of worms. She watched as Manning stormed away.

"What's her problem?" Vera asked as he stopped beside her, surreptitiously putting a donut on her desk.

"No idea," Lilly replied thoughtfully.

"You heard from Scotty?" he asked. Lilly looked up, her eyes shining with a sudden uncertainty. Seeing the answer in her sad eyes, Vera stifled a sigh, nodding slowly.

"You need anythin', you come to me, OK?"

The two women watched him move to his desk, sitting down and shrugging off his jacket.

* * *

_Scotty slid an arm around her waist, pulling Lilly towards him. She blinked in surprise._

"_Scotty! What are you…?" He shook his head, leaving one hand on the curve of her hip, and bringing the other up to hold her hand._

"_Dance with me, Lil," he said quietly. __Lilly smiled softly, nodding. Scotty began to sway, his chin gently resting against her temple. The breeze rippled their hair. From another building, soft music could be heard, floating out into the night. Lilly giggled, and rested her cheek on her partner's chest._

_The department balcony was cold, and the detective shivered, pressing herself against Scotty. Continuing to dance, the man dropped a kiss onto Lilly's head, then her nose, finally reaching her lips. Lilly slid her hands up to his neck, feeling her boyfriend's fingers tangling in her hair._

_The chill was forgotten as Scotty's hands blazed a trail of heat of across her back. He stopped moving, pulling Lilly even closer._

A hand was tapping on her shoulder.

"Scotty…" she mumbled, frowning.

"Damn, I hope not."

The blonde detective blinked sleepily, sitting up. Squinting against the unwelcome light, she yawned.

"Jeffries?" she mumbled. He chuckled.

"Come on, Sleeping Beauty. Tea's on me."

Lilly yawned again, allowing herself to be pulled out of her chair. Seeing the dark circles under her eyes, Jeffries touched her arm.

"Lil? Have you been here all night?" She looked away, feeling her cheeks turn pink.

"Didn't you say something about coffee?"

"No," he chuckled, "but I did say something about tea."

She made a face, scowling up at him.

"I think I'll pass."

"I don't mind. My job is done," Jeffries quipped in an uncharacteristically bright voice. Lilly narrowed her eyes fiercely.

"You were sent to wake me up from the only pleasant dream I've had in weeks?"

Jeffries chuckled.

"Well, when you put it like that..." She muttered something under her breath, before taking a deep breath.

"Fine. I'm up," she grumbled. Still murmuring nonsense under her breath, Lilly approached Miller slowly, clearing her throat.

"Can I talk to you?"

"What kinda talk?" Kat replied cautiously, glancing up in trepidation. "Work talk or not work talk?"

The shy smile that graced Lilly's lips gave her an answer, and failing to hide her own returning grin, Miller stood.

"Feel like coffee?"

Lilly arched an amused eyebrow, and the curly haired detective slapped a hand to her forehead. Lilly chuckled at the pink stain on Miller's cheeks.

"As great as coffee sounds, I think I'll stick to juice."

Kat shook her head.

"I'll get my coat."

"Miller?"

"Yeah?"

"You and Veronica want to come over tonight?" Lilly asked softly. Miller blinked in surprise.

"Excuse me?"

A blush spread over the blonde's cheeks, and she looked away.

"You don't have to. I just...I got some movies, and...it was just an idea."

Kat arched an eyebrow.

"We'd love to."

* * *

_Vera narrowed his eyes at the cheerful look on Scotty's face, and took in the younger detective's messed up hair._

"_You son of a bitch! You got laid!"_

_Walking in behind her partner, Lilly smirked._

"_You have sex-hair, Valens." He grinned, and pecked her on the lips._

"_Good mornin'."_

_Lilly straightened his tie, and then ran a hand over his hair._

"_Good morning."_

The ringing of the doorbell broke through her bubble, shattering the memory and reminding Lilly that the days of early morning 'meetings' in the bedroom and sex-hair were long gone as far as she was concerned. Glancing up at the clock, she realized her afternoon had passed faster than expected. She moved across to the door, smiling as she heard the voices on the doorstep.

As she opened the door, Miller and Veronica felt identical grins spread across their faces.

"I ordered pizza," Lilly said, standing aside to let them in.

"No olives?" Miller asked.

"No olives," her colleague confirmed with a laugh, "Can I get anyone a drink?"

"I'll help!" Veronica offered quickly, heading towards the kitchen. Smiling knowingly, Lilly held out the juice for Veronica to take. She chuckled, watching as the young girl carefully filled three glasses.

"So are you having fun with Nicky?" Lilly asked slyly.

"I think he likes my Mom," Veronica replied.

"Oh yeah?"

The girl nodded.

"Last night, he got her a bunch of flowers, and Mom blushed," she said in a matter-of-fact tone. Lilly smirked.

"They're colleagues. They have to like each other." Veronica looked up at the detective, eyebrows raised.

"I'm 13, Lilly, not stupid."

Miller walked in.

"Who said you were stupid?"

"Nobody," the young girl replied quickly, innocently handing her mother a glass of juice. Lilly fought back a grin at the suspicious glance she received from her colleague.

"You better not be corrupting my daughter, Rush."

Lilly shrugged.

"Would I do that?"

"Yes," Miller replied bluntly.

"Veronica, you can find us a DVD to watch if you want."

"Thanks, Lilly!" the girl said, disappearing into the living room. Now they were finally alone, Miller studied Lilly carefully.

"So how are you doing? Really," she asked softly. Lilly glanced over her shoulder, her smile disappearing.

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, Lilly. What's with the sudden change in attitude? How are you really feeling?"

She thought for a moment, silently chewing on her bottom lip.

"I'm OK," she admitted eventually.

"Yeah?"

Lilly nodded.

"Yeah. It's been three weeks, and I think I'm finally realizing that this is it. Me and Peanut."

"You think he's gone for good?" Miller questioned gently. The blonde detective took a deep breath.

"I don't know, Kat. It just hurts too much to think about it."

Changing the subject, the dark haired detective moved to the other side of the room.

"When's your next appointment with the OB?" she said. Lilly smiled.

"Thursday."

Miller opened the refrigerator, blinking in surprise at the amount of food on the shelves. She studied the date carefully written on the lid, and frowned.

"Lil, why do you have food in here that's more than a week old?"

"Because Maria Valens is trying to fatten me up," Lilly replied.

"You know you're actually supposed to eat this stuff, right?"

"I wasn't hungry."

The curly haired detective touched her colleague on the shoulder.

"Lil. Are you eating?"

"Yes."

"Are you eating healthily?"

Lilly hesitated.

"Maybe?" she replied. Miller narrowed her eyes.

"Don't make me stick a feeding tube down your neck," she warned. The blonde detective rolled her eyes.

"Send Ron back in. She's not as boring."

* * *

Now that Scotty's off the scene undeterminately (is that a word?), I really wanted to try and develop the relationships between Lilly and the rest of the team. So far it's proved fairly unsuccessful (how do you spell that?). I hope you enjoyed it, though, and please take a moment to review!


	9. Devil Talk

A/N OK, so this chapter sucks big time. Now I've warned you, I can go on to apologize for the suckiness of this chapter. I've had a couple of sort-of health issues to sort out, and I think I've managed to get them under control. That's my excuse for why this chapter is, in my opinion, sucky. But I may be able to soften you up with the return of our favorite Cuban! Anyway, read on, dear readers. Please.

Afterthought: Hey, I'm not sure whether Atlantic City would be in the jurisdiction of any of the Philly PD departments, but for the sake of this story, it is. Trust me, you'll get why that isn't actually random after next chapter.

After-Afterthought: **M! This chapter is an M! **I knew there was something I was forgetting. It's an **M** for language and SMUT! Woop.

Disclaimer: I don't own Cold Case. Sorry.

* * *

At this moment there are 6,417,652,321 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. Some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world. Six billion souls.

But sometimes all you need is one.

Sighing heavily, Lilly rubbed a tired hand over her bump, feeling a hard kick meet her palm.

"Yeah, I miss him too," she whispered.

"First time I've heard you say that."

The blonde detective jumped, looking up guiltily. Jeffries gave her a sad smile, and Lilly felt color creep up into her cheeks.

"What's up?"

Jeffries shrugged.

"Just coming to say hi."

"Will..." Lilly warned, smiling slightly at her colleague. He rolled his eyes.

"I'm worried about you. But I didn't want to say anything in case you cut the end of my tie off," he said.

"That was the fifth time Vera had asked if I was OK!" Lilly replied defensively. Her colleague chuckled.

"And that was his favourite tie, Lil."

She laughed softly, eyeing his watch.

"Is it really five o'clock already? Day's gone pretty fast."

"Yeah. You seen the sunset recently? It's pretty damn nice."

Stillman stuck his head out of his office, smiling slightly at the grin on her face.

"Rush, can I have a word?" he called, and felt a twinge of regret as her smile faded.

"Sure," she said slowly, standing up and heading towards him, "Do I need to bring tissues?"

"Just come in and shut the door."

Lilly sighed, and with a final glance over her shoulder, pulled the door closed. _Yeah...this is not going to end well for me._

* * *

He'd forgotten everything. The smells, the sounds, them...**her**. He'd just...forgotten. Scotty was conscious of the eyes boring holes in him, the whispered conversations taking place behind hands. Clenching his jaw, he pushed open the gate, wincing at the pain in his bruised hand. The male detective was barely three feet into the department when a fist sent him sprawling to the floor.

"You goddamn son of a bitch!"

Almost crying out in pain, Scotty watched as Nick Vera blew on his knuckles. The burly detective glared down at his colleague.

"Gee, Nick," Scotty said sarcastically, "did ya miss me that much?"

"You think you can just walk back in here? After the way you hurt her?"

Scotty had managed to drag himself to his feet, and was tenderly feeling the angry bruise that had already began to form on his chin. Vera shook his head in disbelief.

"Dammit, Valens, are you even listenin' to me? The way you jus' took off..."

At that, the younger detective frowned in confusion. The color slid from his cheeks.

"What the hell are you talkin' about?" he asked. Vera scoffed disparagingly.

"You, you goddamn asshole. Walkin' out on Lil an' the baby."

"She didn't get the letter?"

Vera frowned in confusion.

"What letter?"

The younger detective ran a hand through his hair.

"I left a letter at West," he explained anxiously, "They were meant to deliver it. After they sent me to Atlantic City. She didn't get it?"

Vera's face softened.

"No, Scotty. Lil didn't get no letter."

"But I wrote it! Told her I was goin' under. Explained where I was goin'!" Scotty cried helplessly. Vera studied him, and seeing the bruises covering his friend's face and hands, sighed heavily.

"What the hell happened to you, Valens?"

Scotty looked up, his eyes darkened by pain, emotional and physical. He shook his head, not finding the words to explain what he'd seen.

"It's nothin'. Looks worse than it is."

"Yeah, well you look like Hell, so..."

"I, uh...yeah..."

"You better head over to West an' find that letter, man," Vera said softly.

"I have to talk to Lil. I gotta tell her..."

"Tell me somethin'. Do you really think she's gonna be pleased to see you? Welcome you back wit' open arms?"

"You son of a bitch!" Scotty exploded, "You ain't even gonna give me the damn chance to explain to her?"

Suddenly losing control of his temper, Vera pushed him backwards, scowling fiercely.

"Don't give me that fuckin' BS, Valens. You know as well as I do that Lil ain't gonna listen to anythin' you have to say today, unless it's on her own fuckin' terms."

"But..."

"We'll deal with Lil. You go find out what the hell is goin' on."

"Yeah?" Scotty questioned uncertainly. Vera nodded, breathing heavily.

"Yeah, and, uh...sorry about, you know..."

The younger man shook his head, a tiny smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he ran his fingertips gingerly over his jaw.

"It's OK, man. It's nothin'."

"Get outta here," Vera said gruffly, gently patting his friend on the arm. Scotty winced, and disappeared through the double doors. Vera watched him leave.

"Somebody shoot me. I think I just got emotional."

"Yeah, I'd say that was pretty damn emotional."

The burly detective turned, narrowing his eyes.

"You better not have been eavesdroppin'," he growled. Miller smirked.

"What if I was?"

"I ain't in the mood for this."

Miller grabbed his arm, pulling him back to face her and letting all trace of teasing disappear from her face.

"Tell me that wasn't who I think it was," she said seriously. Vera nodded slowly.

"He was undercover," he replied.

"Why the hell didn't he say something?" Miller asked, staring at the doors through which Scotty just left.

"I don't know, Kat," Vera muttered, "but somethin' ain't right."

She moved closer to him, resting her hand on his sleeve.

"You're worried," she stated quietly. Nick glanced down at her, agreeing with a slight incline of his head.

"Lil's gonna be so damn confused, an' I jus' don't think she can handle anymore right now. Part o' me wishes he'd just stay gone."

"You don't mean that."

Vera chuckled, giving her hand a quick squeeze.

"Come on. We better get outta here before..."

"That was him."

They both turned, the color sliding from their cheeks as they saw their pregnant colleague standing behind them, eyes fixed straight ahead. _Dammit, Valens, _Miller thought bitterly, _why'd you and Rush have to have that damn sixth sense thing?_

"That was him." Something in Lilly's tone suggested that her statement held no room for contradiction or bullshit of any kind.

"That...was Scotty," Lilly repeated softly. Vera shuffled his feet awkwardly.

"He's..."

"Why did he leave again?"

"Something he had to do, Lil," Miller replied, "something important."

"Something important," Lilly echoed in soft disbelief, "right."

As Lilly brushed past them, her brow set in a confused frown. Vera caught her arm, raising a concerned eyebrow.

"Wait, wait. Where the hell do you think you're goin'?"

"I need to talk to Scotty."

"Not right now ya don't."

She pushed him away, tears springing to her eyes.

"Dammit, Nick! Nearly a month he was gone, and then he just walks back in here?"

"You think I don't know that?" he replied sharply, "I saw what he did to you, Lil, an' I already kicked his ass for that, but there's stuff goin' on that you don't know about, an'..."

"And who's fault was that?" Lilly interrupted, her voice dangerously soft, "Who's fucking fault was that?"

The blonde detective tried to get around him, but when Vera gently wrapped his hands around her arms, a choked sob tore from her lips.

"Let me go!"

"I'm sorry, Lilly," he whispered, not releasing her arms. Miller blocked her path, her soft voice breaking straight through Lilly's pain and anger.

"Lilly, listen to me. Whatever the hell is going on with him, you tearing him a new one is definitely not going to help."

Lilly finally gave up in her struggle against Vera's hands, sinking down against him with a sigh of defeat.

"He's beat up pretty bad, Lil," he said in a low voice. The blonde's eyes darkened and she ignored the wave of concern that swept through her, knowing that if Vera was saying he was hurt, he really was.

"Are you telling me to lay off him?"

Miller shook her head.

"Just making sure you've got all the information."

* * *

Across town, Scotty stormed into the Homicide department at West, heading straight for the woman in the far corner. Anna Mayes looked up as he approached.

"Hey, Scotty. What are you doin'...?" she began in confusion. He slammed his palms down on her desk.

"I asked you...to give that letter to Lilly."

Her eyes widened, her mouth falling open.

"Oh, shit. Scotty, I'm sorry. I thought he'd..."

"Who?" he demanded. Anna swallowed.

"Callahan."

Scotty spun around, his eyes searching for the officer in question. Spotting Callahan in the corner, he launched across the room. His fist collided with the other man's jaw, sending him spiralling onto the floor.

"What the fuck, man?" Callahan exclaimed as he managed to haul himself to his feet. Scotty raised his fist again, but Manny Fernandez caught his arm, dragging the struggling detective away.

"You were meant to give that letter to my partner! You son of a bitch!"

Callahan straightened, nursing his bruised lip.

"What the hell is your problem, man? So what I didn't deliver your goddamn fucking letter!" he spat. Manny held Scotty back as he tried to reach the blonde man. The Cold Case investigator turned away, taking a deep breath. Manny sighed heavily.

"She's pregnant, Callahan. Rush is pregnant," he said quietly. Callahan felt his face fall, and he closed his eyes in regret.

"Holy shit," he murmured. Scotty gave his hand a slight shake, turning away with a soft curse. Manny rested a hand on his shoulder.

"You shouldn't be here," he said softly. The younger detective rubbed his knuckles.

"Don't fuck wit' me, Manny. I didn't want this."

"Hey, I **asked** you if you would be alright with doin' this op."

"Yeah, and I was, until you stuck me in the middle of some fuckin' FBI screw-up!"

Fernandez sighed heavily, pinching his fingers together against the bridge of his nose.

"Get out, Valens. Tell Rush I'm sorry," he said. Scotty stormed out, shouting back over his shoulder.

"You think she's gonna forgive me long enough to listen?"

* * *

She didn't. He knew as soon as he stepped back into his department that she knew he was there. And, as he had expected (hoped), she was waiting for him. He came to a stop in front of her, and the hurt in her deep blue eyes reaffirmed that this game was to be played by her rules only.

Lilly took a step forward, leaving no more than an inch between them. She glared up at him. Raising a hand, Lilly slapped Scotty across the face. He swayed slightly. Vera winced, and Miller choked on her coffee.

Scotty, still reeling from the blow, stared at the floor. _Guess I deserved that,_ he thought. He risked a glance up, only to receive a second slap to his other cheek. A muffled cry of pain escaped him, and he raised a hand to his face. Their colleagues stared on in shock.

"That is for leaving me," Lilly softly. With trembling fingers, she raised his head. Scotty looked at her, his eyes filled with pain.

"This is for coming back," she whispered, pulling him towards her. Their bodies met, and as they held each other tight, everyone seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief.

"Valens!"

He hastily wiped his eyes, and giving her body a final squeeze, stepped away from Lilly and looked towards Stillman.

"Boss."

"My office," the lieutenant snapped, "Rush, I don't want to see you here when I come out."

"Yes, boss," she said quietly, unable to tear her eyes from her partner as he followed Stillman into his office. The door slammed shut behind them, mimicking the fall of a heavy weight onto Lilly's heart. She let her eyes fall shut, letting everything fade into a fuzz of white noise. She opened her mouth to scream in frustration.

No sound came out.

Sitting down in the seat opposite the desk, Scotty realized that even after all of his screw-ups, he had never received a glare as fierce as the one Stillman was sending him now.

"You have five seconds to start explaining," the lieutenant said in a dangerous voice, "Five."

Scotty paled.

"Boss, I didn't..."

"Four."

"I wrote a letter! Boss, I swear I never mea..."

"Three."

"I was undercover!" Scotty exploded suddenly, "I was in so fuckin' deep I didn't know who I was anymore!"

Seeing the tears that had appeared in his detective's eyes, Stillman sat down in his seat, sighing heavily.

"You really got yourself in a mess this time, Scotty."

"I know, boss."

"Tell me about this undercover job."

The younger detective felt his eyes widen in alarm, his chest tightening in alarm.

"Boss..."

"I have to know, Scotty, because I have to know what I need to do next."

"I don't know, boss. I don't know anythin' anymore. I jus' know that I gotta fix things wit' Lil, otherwise I might as well be back undercover."

Stillman studied him carefully, his eyes flicking over the bruises, and the cut on his detective's forehead, and the two day scruff shadowing his chin. Scotty looked up suddenly.

"Boss, can I ask you somethin'?"

"Go ahead, Scotty."

"You know sometimes when...you when two people...when two people are in love?"

Yes..."

Scotty took a deep breath.

"The guy wants to propose, he has to ask her daddy's permission, right?"

"Scotty, what are you asking?"

"That's the thing, boss. Me an' Lil...well, you're the nearest thing she's got to a father, so...so I guess I'm askin' if you're willin' to let me marry Lil."

Stillman heard his breath catch, and he took a deep breath.

"Listen, Scotty..."

* * *

Scotty shut the door behind him. Lilly glanced up at the sound, her legs crossed beneath her as she sat on the sofa.

"Hey," the male detective said slowly. His partner stared at him blankly, her face unreadable.

"Your bag's in the bedroom," she stated.

"I came lookin' for you. Thought you might be here."

"I wasn't."

"Where are the cats?" Scotty asked, looking around in confusion.

"I gave them to Miller. It's dangerous for me to change the litter box."

The emptiness in her voice broke his heart, and Scotty cleared his throat, moving towards her. He sat on the coffee table in front of her, bending his head to kiss the rounded bump of their baby. The words he whispered to the bump were barely audible, but Lilly heard them as if he'd screamed them from the rooftops.

"I missed you."

Her breath caught, and the blonde detective turned her head so that her tears wouldn't be seen. Scotty straightened, reaching in his back pocket for a crumpled envelope. Lilly stared at it, and extended a trembling hand to take it.

"What...?"

"Just read it."

Lilly felt heat rise in her cheeks, and she slowly tore it open. Her eyes widened as she scanned the page, occasionally flicking to Scotty for confirmation that what she was reading was real.

"Anna was meant to get it delivered to you," Scotty said quietly. A tear dripped down her cheek.

"But she didn't."

"No," he replied, raising his thumb to wipe the tear away. She was silent for a while, staring at the letter. After a moment, she put the paper aside, and took his hand in hers. Scotty let her place his hand on her belly. The baby kicked fiercely, and the expectant father smiled, still amazed at the sensation he felt whenever his child moved.

Covering his hand with her own, Lilly leant her forehead to his.

"We missed you too," she whispered. He lifted a hand, letting his fingers dance across her cheeks and then drop down through her newly trimmed locks. A deep frown creased his brow.

"You cut your hair," he stated softly. Lilly lifted her eyes to his.

"Allie trimmed it for me. You don't like it?"

His eyes began to fill with tears.

"I like it," he replied in a choked voice. Lilly pressed her forehead to his chin, closing her eyes. The feeling of his warm breath against her skin suddenly became too much too soon, and she stood, moving to the kitchen. Scotty bit back a cry of frustration. His partner heard her breath hitch, halfway to being a sob, and she clutched at the worktop until her knuckles turned white.

"You...left...me," she said, spitting out the words as if they were poison. He stood up, moving closer until his chest was pressed against her back.

"I came back."

"Did you?"

Wiping the tears from his eyes, Scotty grabbed her arm and spun her around. Before she had a chance to say anything, he had pushed her against the counter, crushing his lips down on hers. Lilly began to protest, but feeling her legs start to tremble and the heat race to her centre.

"I'm sorry," he murmured between kisses, "I'm sorry."

Lilly placed her hands on his chest, looking up at him with sad eyes.

"No more," she whispered, before wrapping her hands around the back of his neck and biting down on his bottom lip. Scotty groaned, and feeling her soft warm body against his, felt his pants tighten.

"Lil..."

She slid her hands up his chest, slowly undoing the buttons.

"No more," she repeated softly. Scotty was captivated by her intense gaze, and felt himself grow painfully hard. His shirt fell open, revealing the taut muscles of his abdomen. Lilly wasn't sure if it was the hormones, but tonight he looked particularly hot. Her lips engulfed his, and all other thoughts were turned to mush in the heat of desire. His hands moved to her ass, pulling her into him. Lilly whimpered softly at the feel of her partner's hardness fitting against her, and in one swift motion, she lifted her vest over her head.

Scotty groaned at the warmth emanating from her core. He bit her lower lip, guiding her down the hall towards their bedroom. Mouths still locked together, the couple managed to make it to the end of the bed before Lilly stumbled, falling backwards.

Neither of them really seemed to notice. She tore her lips away from his, breathing heavily. Scotty's mouth was immediately reattached to her body, his teeth nipping at her extra sensitive nipple. The pressure in his pants was almost unbearable, and by some unspoken agreement, they both knew they wouldn't make it any further

"Do it here," she gasped, pressing his head tighter against her breast. Scotty was in no position to argue. His tongue circled her breast, and Lilly cried out as she fumblingly managed to undo his jeans. She pushed them down, just far enough for his erection to spring free.

The male detective groaned as Lilly stroked his length, and he unconsciously thrust into her hand. Under their own power, his hands worked their way down to the waistband of her cotton sleep pants, and hastily shoved them down her legs.

This wasn't just sex- it was frenzied, a mad, desperate release. They weren't even fully unclothed. This was Lilly reassuring herself that Scotty was back at her side, that he hadn't left her like all the others. Their kisses were hot, and their hands were everywhere. Scotty pulled her upright, moving so that he was sitting on the end of the bed, and Lilly was straddling him. She moaned in pleasure as his tip brushed against her entrance. The rough material of his jeans scratched her thighs, but Lilly was so delirious she barely noticed.

Reaching down between their bodies, she took him in her hands, guiding him towards her centre. His breathing was ragged.

"God, Lil," he growled, splaying his hands across her hips. Lilly slowly lowered herself down onto his shaft, her head falling back at the heightened sensation. Scotty shifted so that his partner was completely in his lap, grabbing her head and pulling her lips back to his.

She clutched at his shoulders, pushing his shirt to the ground. Groaning into her mouth, he thrust upwards, his hands sliding to the small of her back to deepen his movements. Lilly whimpered softly, her body tensing. They were both close. His pace quickened, his upward thrusts erratic, until finally, he came inside her with a deep groan of pleasure. The feeling of his warmth flooding her core pushed Lilly over the edge, and crying his name (which was the only intelligible thing she could manage), she clutched at his arms.

Scotty grabbed his partner's thighs, grunting the end of his release into her neck. The blonde detective rode out her orgasm, allowing her trembling hands to creep up to his shoulders. She tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, and as his palms slid up over her bare back, felt a familiar warmth return to the pit of her stomach.

Her partner pressed soft kisses to her shoulder, his lips skimming over the soft skin until he reached her neck, then up and up her throat and finally, he was home. Her kiss was gentle, fierce, loving and full of anger, and it made Scotty's head spin.

"I hate you," she whispered when she broke away, pressing her face into his neck, "I hate you I hate you I hate you..."

"I'm sorry," he replied, hugging her close to him, "I'm sorry."

* * *

The word 'complete and utter disastrous mess' comes to mind. But that's five words, and I'm not sure whether I'm talking about my writing or the content of the chapter! ;) Please may I have a review? Pretty please?


	10. It's OK If You Want To Drop Dead Now

A/N So here's the thing. I've just spent my entire Saturday paying some CHILD twelve bucks an hour to fix my laptop. Turns out that I could have saved myself a load of money if I'd have just run the anti-virus and hit restart. Life sucks, right? That is my lame, albeit completely honest, excuse as to why this update is a bit late. Sorry! But we have angst. Lots of it, in fact. And fluff, humor, and the Big Explanation. Oh yeah, and the letter. Thanks to everybody who read and reviewed the last chapter! I'm really touched to know that you're all still following. Now, I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the quote at the beginning. Which doesn't technically belong to me. Actually, I'm not sure it even belongs to Parker. But what the hey!

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* * *

_

"Tomorrows are the yesterdays we forget to remember"- Parker Manning

Scotty pushed open the bedroom door. Lilly was asleep, her snuffled breathing reminding him exactly how fragile she was. She always looked the best, he thought, when she was in bed. He removed his joggers, laying them across the chair. Lilly was curled up in the foetal position, hugging her knees to her chest, with her arms held protectively in front of her face. The male detective undressed in silence, trying not to notice the way her pale face stood out in the darkness. He sat down on the bed beside her, releasing the breath he didn't realise he'd been holding. As if a magnet was drawing them together, Lilly turned to face him. Her knees were pressed against his stomach, her elbows resting on his chest.

Smiling, Scotty gently placed a hand on her waist, his fingers brushing the expanse of skin where her tank top had ridden up. He felt a slight movement, and grinned when Peanut kicked again.

"Hey, baby," he whispered, "I missed you."

Another hard thump greeted his hand. The baby seemed to be making its presence felt, and it was almost like their unborn child was a constant reminder of what he almost lost. Like insight coming a day, or a month, too late.

"Yeah, I know," Scotty murmured sadly. He leant forward to kiss Lilly's cheek, before disappearing into the living room to think. It was mere moments later when her voice made him jump.

"Scotty?"

"Hey," he replied, breathing out in relief.

"What are you doing?" she asked sleepily. Scotty glanced over his shoulder.

"Jus' thinkin'."

"Out on the sofa?"

He gave her a look, and Lilly shrugged.

"Come back to bed."

"I can't," he said softly.

"Dammit, Scotty," she whispered, "you've been gone for nearly a month. The least you owe me is sleeping in the same bed."

Scotty stared down at his lap. Seeing that he wasn't planning on moving, Lilly heaved a heavy sigh and turned to leave.

"Wait," her partner said suddenly. The blonde detective paused in the doorway.

"What, Scotty?" she replied in defeat. Scotty glanced towards her, his eyes heavy lidded and full of pain, and then stood up. Reaching her in no more than three steps, he slowly tangled his fingers around hers. Smiling slightly, Lilly let him lead her towards their bedroom.

"I'll come, but I ain't slept well for weeks," he said quietly.

"We'll manage."

Lilly pulled back the covers, sitting up against the headboard and pulling him down with her. Scotty kissed her on the lips, before sliding down so that his head was resting in her lap. After a few moments of silence, the blonde detective decided to get the ball rolling.

"I love you, you know. I didn't...**stop** loving you, just because you left."

He stroked her leg, staring up at the ceiling.

"I didn't want you to get hurt," he said in a low voice, "If I told you about the op, an' they found out...I just didn't want you to get hurt."

"But I was, Scotty. I WAS hurt. I thought it was my fault that you left."

Lilly rested a hand on his forehead.

"But why didn't you just tell me?"

"Because I didn't want you to have to watch another person you love walk away an' not know if you were gonna see 'em again," Scotty replied quietly. His partner tensed.

"You didn't know if you were going to come back?" she echoed in horrified disbelief. Scotty glanced up at her.

"These people...the people I was tryin' to bring down? They...they..."

Hearing the choked edge that had entered his voice, Lilly switched positions, lying down and stretching out beside him.

"Go to sleep. We can talk in the morning." Scotty wrapped an arm around her waist, hugging her against him.

"Love you," he murmured, closing his eyes.

"Love you too."

Forty minutes, two position changes, and a trip to the bathroom later, Lilly sighed, feeling him rubbing circles up and down her leg.

"You're not sleeping," she said quietly. Scotty kissed the back of her neck.

"I'm jus'..." It was his turn to sigh. "I don't know what I'm doin'."

"Sleep. Everything will look better in the morning." He pressed his cheek into the crook of her shoulder.

"Why ain't you kickin' my ass all over the joint?"

"You mean besides the fact I'm 32 weeks pregnant?"

"Lil."

"Jesus, Scotty. These guys take your sense of humour too?"

Against his will, Scotty chuckled, holding her tight to his body.

"Why don't you take your own advice an' go to sleep?"

"Promise me you'll be here when I wake up?" Lilly asked softly, her voice suddenly serious. He nodded into her shoulder.

"I promise. Tomorrow we'll talk."

"OK. Goodnight."

"'Night, Lil. 'Night, Peanut."

"Yeah...still not gonna get an answer, Scotty."

"I know. I just like sayin' it."

* * *

When she awoke, Lilly sat up, looking down at her partner as he slept. He'd tossed and turned for a good part of the night, until he finally settled into a fitful unconsciousness.

"What did they do to you?" she whispered, stroking his hair away from his face. Scotty twitched in his sleep, looking absolutely shell-shocked, and his partner leant over to press a tender kiss to cheek. He winced at the pressure on his bruised skin and subconsciously rolled away from her.

Sliding off the bed, Lilly reached for his shirt, slipping it over her shoulders and doing up a few buttons. She walked into the kitchen, lovingly rubbing the roundness in front of her. Reaching for the paper trapped beneath the fruit bowl, she spread the letter out across the counter, settling herself on the bar stool.

_**Lil,**_

_**Don't be mad. Manny Fernandez needed a new face for an op. Not sure how long I'll be gone. You need me (like an emergency, Lil, not when you run out of oatmeal), call Fernandez. He knows how to get hold of me.**_

_**Take good care of Peanut.**_

_**I love you both,**_

_**Scotty**_

A single tear rolled down her cheek, and Lilly quickly wiped it away.

"Lil?"

She looked up, a tiny smile appearing around her lips at her barely awake partner leaning against the door frame.

"Hey," she said, sliding off the stool and taking a few steps towards him. Scotty met her halfway, and wrapping her in a tight hug, buried his face in her shoulder.

"I love you," he breathed. Lilly nodded.

"I know." He trembled in her arms, and she uncertainly rubbed her hand up his back. "Hey, I know."

This whole situation was wrong. In six of years of partnership, six years of **them**, and never once had their roles been reversed as they were now. Suddenly realizing what she had to do, Lilly led him towards the sofa, sitting down and dragging him onto the cushions beside her.

"Listen to me," she said softly, taking his hand, "we've been here before, Scotty. Not quite in this situation, but...fuck. I don't know what to say."

Scotty couldn't help but smile at the adorable scowl creasing her forehead.

"Nice try."

"Shut up. Look, I know you don't want to talk about it, but trust me. It helps having someone to share the burden with."

"Yeah?" he questioned, glancing down at her. Lilly nodded, a smile teasing the corner of her lips.

"Yeah. Why else do you think I keep you around?"

"Thanks, Lil," Scotty replied sarcastically.

"You're welcome. Now start sharing."

With a heavy sigh, the male detective let his eyes fall shut, fighting against the images and sounds that had tortured him for the past three weeks.

"FBI was runnin' an op outta Atlantic City. Tryin' to bring down this gang. Had cops all over the city waitin' to bust this thing."

"You know it was an FBI thing?" Lilly asked.

"Nah. Manny jus' said that he needed a new face. Knew I'd done good with the Ana Castilla case. But the Feds, they got no idea about what's goin' on."

Lilly watched a series of emotions flick across his face, none of them lingering long. Scotty tightened his hold on her hand, and continued to speak.

"There was one time. Some big trade-off goin' down jus' outside Atlantic City, warehouse is full o' crack ready for the street. There were maybe ten of 'em, twelve maybe, all carryin' a weapon o' some kind. The drugs are there on the table. I'm supposed to be arrangin' a pick up between buyers and dealers. An' then this kid comes in, an' he's not more than eight or nine, an' he's shoutin' about how _el jefe_ is comin'..."

"El jefe?"

"The boss. Miguel de la Vega. Also known as _El Fantasma_."

"The Ghost."

"Right. I swear, Lil, this guy scared me. He comes in, an' he's nothin' to look at, but this kid...he's fuckin' terrified, an' he's cryin' about _el gobierno y la policia_, an' then Miguel says somethin' about leavin' nothin' behind, and...and then he shot the fuckin' kid, Lilly! For no fuckin' reason 'cept he could!"

He fought back tears, choking on a sob.

"I watched them kill a kid, Lil. They just shot him, like he didn't mean anythin'...an' I jus' had to watch. An' it was so wrong. I couldn't do nothin' to help him, 'cause the goddamn fuckin' FBI had buried me so deep that the whole damn operation was restin' on me! And I needed you, Lil. I needed you."

Lilly tightened her arm around him, and as he gave up in his struggle with his emotions, she felt hot tears drip onto her head. Straightening, she pulled him closer, bringing his head to rest on her shoulder and moving his hand around to cover her belly.

"It's OK," she whispered, "it's OK."

His tears soaked into the material of the shirt she was wearing, hot and cold and wet against her skin. Scotty heard the sobs escape from his throat, and squeezed his eyes shut against the tears. Lilly stroked the back of his head, pressing her cheek to his soft black hair and trying to fight off her own tears that had appeared at his pain.

"I didn't know, Lil," he sobbed, "I didn't know. An' then last week, they dragged in this lady, an' she was one o' their dealers. Turned out she'd got clean, been workin' wit' the PD to bring 'em down. She had this...this fuckin' blonde hair, an'..." Tears got the better of him once again, and silent sobs wracked his body. "And dammit, Lil, she was just like you!"

This time, the words of comfort appeared on the tip of her tongue unbidden, and Lilly cradled her partner against her.

"Scotty, listen to me. You told me once that it's OK to show you're scared. I know it hurts, and I know you're blaming yourself for not saving the child and the woman, but you are a good person. And there's no-one, Scotty, NO-ONE I would rather be in love with."

Hearing his sobs lessen, Lilly pushed him down into a lying position and stretching herself out along his side. Her arm wrapped over his waist, her fingers tracing reassuring circles on his arm. Eventually, Scotty returned her gentle embrace, the tears drying to leave shiny tracks on his cheeks. He let out a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry."

"It's me, Scotty. You don't have to be sorry for crying," Lilly replied. He thought for a moment.

"You ain't gonna tell Vera I cried like a baby, are you?"

"I was thinking about making a banner for the department."

"Funny, Lil."

The blonde detective smiled slightly, moving her cheek onto his chest.

"What happened to that case?" Scotty asked suddenly. Lilly shifted against him, her bare legs smooth and cool against his heated skin.

"What case?"

"The case from before. Lawyer from Chestnut Hill who was tryin' Mob cases."

"Oh. Turns out our vic was in love with Carlos Riviera's sister. Had a plan to take her away from the life of crime," she explained with a smile.

"Riviera find out?"

"No, actually. Nick Reeves' lover did."

"Claudia Blake? No way!"

Lilly laughed softly, wrapping her arm over his stomach.

"She told Vera that they were planning to run off together, so when Reeves told her that he was in love with someone else..."

"She killed him," Scotty finished.

"She killed him. Hey, I'm hungry. Don't move, OK?"

He smiled as the fridge door opened and shut, and settled more comfortably on the sofa just as a familiar sound interrupted his train of thought.

"Uh, Lil?"

"What's up?"

"The phone's ringin'," he said. She appeared in the doorway, smirking in amusement.

"So answer it."

Scotty shook his head.

"No thank you." His partner laughed softly, moving to wrap her arms around his neck.

"It's your mom, isn't it?"

He nodded uncertainly. Lilly kissed his cheek, and rested her chin on his shoulder.

"Answer it," she said gently. Sighing heavily, Scotty dragged her around in front of him, reaching for the phone at the same time.

"Hola, mama."

The blonde detective fought back a giggle at the screams that followed from the handset. Her partner winced, looping an arm around her waist and kissing her neck.

"No, _madre_, I didn't...oh, come on, Ma!"

Hearing the tired frustration in his voice, Lilly took the phone from his hand, drawing a finger down his cheek.

"Maria?"

"Lilly, what in _el nombre de Maria, José y_ Jesus is going on?"

"He came back," the blonde detective said simply. The older woman remained silent, waiting for Lilly to continue.

"He was undercover," Lilly said, right on cue. Maria inhaled sharply.

"Is he hurt?" she asked hurriedly. Lilly smiled to herself- it seemed motherly concern could beat anger any day of the week. Her eyes came to rest on her partner, eyeing the bruises and grazes that tainted his skin.

"He's fine," she lied, fiddling with his hair. Scotty smiled gratefully. _Last thing I need right now is Ma gettin' all worked up 'cause I took a beatin'._

"She wants to talk to you," Lilly said. He raised an eyebrow, taking the handset back from her.

"Great."

"Why don't you take it in the bedroom?"

Lilly followed him to the bedroom door, gently nudging him over the threshold. Over his shoulder, he gave her a confused glance.

"Are you coming too?" She stepped onto her tiptoes, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

"No, baby, I'm just closing the door behind you."

* * *

Well, there ya go. I hope it wasn't too bad. It was really hard to switch the roles, as in having Scotty being the one in pain and Lilly being the supporting partner. If you could maybe leave a review to let me know what you think...just a little one? Thanks! :)

* * *


	11. Cinderella vs Prince Charming

A/N This chapter was thrown together because I didn't want to make you wait! Sorry! FYI, _italics_ are either flashbacks or thoughts. Or both. Work it out.

Disclaimer: Cold Case belongs to CBS.

* * *

When Lilly was finished in the shower, all she had to do to find her partner was follow the sound of heavy sighs. She found him sitting on the floor in the nursery, knees hugged tightly to his chest.

"Hey," she said quietly. Scotty jumped, turning his head to look at her.

"Hey."

Lilly moved towards him.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked, easing herself to the floor beside him. He started in concern at the sight of his pregnant girlfriend (and her 8 month bump) struggling to sit down.

"You shouldn't be on the floor, Lil!" She smirked.

"Too late."

With a defeated chuckle, Scotty scooted closer, wrapping his arm around her back.

"So what do YOU think I'm thinkin' about?"

"I think you're questioning whether you'll make a good father, which, by the way, you will, and I think you're replaying what happened undercover," Lilly replied slowly, her voice soft and covering him in a blanket of warmth. Scotty looked around, smiling.

"Looks like you've got everything covered in here. Diapers, bottles, a scary lookin' red thing..."

"Hey, don't be mean about Elmo. Your niece and nephew picked it out especially."

"OK, OK. But I don't think there's anythin' missin'."

She followed his gaze, shrugging.

"I guess we have everything we need to start with. Still need to paint, though."

"Nooo, I need to paint. You ain't gettin' nowhere near them fumes."

Lilly crawled into his lap, linking her hands at the back of his neck and smirking.

"You gonna stop me, Valens?" she said in a husky voice. His grin widened. He braced an arm behind him, letting the other wander up her side to cup her cheek.

"Yeah," he replied cockily. Her lips got closer to his, and Lilly arched a teasing eyebrow.

"Yeah?" she echoed teasingly, brushing her nose against his.

"Yeah," he murmured again, finally closing the gap and catching her lips in a kiss. When they finally broke away, clothes dishevelled and breathing heavily, Lilly smoothed her hands across his shoulders.

"Are you coming with me?" she asked.

"Where?"

"To work."

Scotty sighed heavily.

"They don't want me there. I don't know if I even have a job there anymore," he said sadly. Lilly slid her hands up his chest to fiddle with the neck of his vest.

"I want you there."

"Lil..."

"I want you there."

He stared at her for a minute, before letting his eyes fall closed.

"Then I guess I don't have a choice."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Lilly was still listening for the sound of the shower to start. Finally giving into temptation, she knocked softly on the bathroom door.

"Yeah," Scotty called dejectedly, the pain in his voice almost breaking her heart. The blonde detective pushed open the door, taking a step into the room. Her partner was leaning over the sink, his arms resting either side of the basin. Lilly slid her arms around his waist from behind, locking eyes with him in the mirror. He lifted a hand to his face, poking and prodding the bruises.

"They don't look too bad," she said, attempting brightness. Scotty shook his head.

"Liar."

It seemed his self-flagellation was destined to continue for the rest of the day, and despite her best attempts, Lilly couldn't bring even the smallest of smiles to his face. Now, as they walked through the doors of the Homicide department, she was all but begging him to talk to her.

Scotty took a few steps past the lockers, and stopped suddenly. Not paying attention, Lilly collided with his back.

"Hey!" she exclaimed. He turned around.

"I can't do this."

Lilly blocked his way, resting her hands on his chest.

"You have to, Scotty," she said gently. He shook his head.

"But I don't need them givin' me dirty looks all afternoon," he said sadly.

"Then give them dirty looks right back. It's just us, Scotty."

The male detective slid his hand into hers.

"Just us," he echoed, finally letting her lead him into the department. It seemed that the police force grapevine hadn't let them down. Word had travelled like wildfire about the jackass up in Cold Cases who ran off for some undercover glory, leaving his pregnant girlfriend without a word.

Word seemed to have moved even faster about how she'd welcomed him back, no questions asked, and how he seemed to have sunk in on himself, uncharacteristic on both their behalves.

As the couple pointedly ignored the eyes glancing in their direction, the department slowly went back to work, and they were soon forgotten. Lilly was like a lioness circling her family, daring them to approach. Everything about her body language screamed at Vera and his colleagues to leave Scotty alone. The mark Vera had left on his jaw was blatantly obvious, and the burly detective couldn't distinguish between the satisfaction and the guilt he felt every time he looked to the right.

As Scotty sighed heavily, carefully avoiding his partner's watchful gaze, Manning came to a stop beside him.

"Hey, Ellie," Scotty said tiredly. She placed a cup of coffee on his desk, her face serious.

"I'm glad you're here," she replied quietly. He gave her a quick smile.

"Thanks."

"Scotty, a word," Stillman called gently. The younger detective felt the color drain from his face.

"Can it wait, boss?" he asked, looking around for Lilly.

"No," came the blunt reply. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Scotty turned, his eyes searching for his partner. As if she had sensed his anxiety, Lilly appeared in the break room doorway, her blue eyes wide, and hurried to his side.

"I didn't know where you were," he whispered in a choked voice.

"It's OK. I'm right here."

He nodded slowly.

"I gotta go talk to Boss."

"I'm not going anywhere," she said gently. Vera waved a piece of paper in the air.

"Manning, third message in twenty minutes. Think you might wanna call back?" She frowned slightly.

"Who is it?"

"Do I look like your damn secretary?"

Miller threw a ball of paper at his head.

"Don't be an ass," she said. Vera rolled his eyes, handing the message slip to his youngest colleague.

"Some guy called Dean. Keep tellin' him you're sick."

"So tell him I died," she replied in a shaky voice, turning away from him to put down her bag and shrug off her coat. Vera shook his head in disbelief.

"Ain't I heard that before?" he growled, aiming a pointed glare at Miller. She returned it just as fiercely as Manning left for the bathroom.

"You should lay off her. Stop being such a dick."

"Yeah, well. She should stop doin'...whatever the hell it is she's doin'. She's been fuckin' drivin' me crazy ever since her tiny little fight wit' Lil. But I don't know what her damn problem is."

Miller stood up, leaning down to hiss in his ear.

"Ever think her problem might be you?"

Swearing and muttering curses under his breath, Vera stood up, suddenly towering over her, and stomped into the break room. Miller watched him leave with a scowl on her face, sighing in disgust at his pig-headedness. Her eyes scanned around the room, coming to land on Lilly.

"Hey, Lil?"

"Yes?"

"What's up with Scotty?"

She glanced up, her eyes darkening at Miller's question.

"Why?" she questioned cautiously. Her curly haired colleague shrugged.

"Because I'm worried about him."

Lilly hesitated, not knowing how much she should reveal, if any at all.

"Drugs bust. He..."

"He what, Lil?" Miller prompted gently. The blonde detective sighed.

"He watched them kill a little boy, about the same age as his nephew."

"Shit."

Miller pinched the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes shut. Lilly shook her head, glancing towards her boss' office to make sure Scotty was alright.

"He said something about there being this woman...all I could make out was they raped and killed her."

"But he's seen worse than that, right?" Miller questioned in confusion. Lilly nodded.

"Yeah, but he said she looked just like me."

"Well, that explains a lot."

A cup of coffee appeared under her nose, and Miller jumped, looking up. Vera scowled.

"Maybe I am bein' too hard on Manning," he admitted quietly. She nodded, not saying anything as he moved back to his desk. Lilly watched the whole exchange curiously. _He brought her coffee._ _Because that's normal... _Luckily for Vera and Miller, her attention was diverted from them by the reappearance of her partner.

"Hey," she greeted, standing up as quickly as her pregnant body would allow.

"Hey," Scotty replied with a smile. He rubbed his hand over Peanut, and bent to kiss the bump.

"So..." Lilly began slowly, searching his eyes for any clue as to how he was really feeling. Scotty straightened, resting his forehead against hers.

"So I'm OK," he reassured. His partner broke into a broad smile and the male detective couldn't help but chuckle.

"You know, I've been thinkin'," he continued, sitting down in his seat and watching as Lilly did likewise.

"Good thinking or bad thinking?"

"Good thinking. Well, for me. I want our child Christened."

Lilly blinked in surprise.

"That's it?" she said. Scotty frowned.

"What do you mean 'that's it'?"

"Well...I just assumed that we'd do the whole christening thing in Church anyway."

"You did?" Scotty asked with a grin.

"Well, yeah...I know I'm not religious, but you are, and your parents are, so..."

Vera cleared his throat.

"You know, if you're still thinking of names, Nicholas has always been a favourite of mine."

Scotty grinned.

"Oh yeah?" he replied. Jeffries sat back in his seat.

"William's a good strong name."

Miller snorted.

"Bet you wouldn't be sayin' that if it was a girl," she said. Vera glared at her.

"Alright then, smartass. You think of a name." Kat grinned cockily.

"Matter of fact, I already ha..."

"Toby."

Four heads turned to look at Lilly. A faint smile spread from her lips.

"Toby John Rush," she said. The others exchanged glances, before breaking out into identical grins.

"Toby. Sounds great, Lil," Scotty replied, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. She smiled to herself, hearing the pride in his voice. Vera spoke again, this time under his breath.

"I still think Nick is a good name."

* * *

_The nurse smiled at him flirtatiously, blushing as he walked past. Scotty grinned cheekily, winking. Lilly caught the exchange, and even though she knew he was only teasing her, stopped dead in her tracks._

"_Valens!"_

_His grin grew at the fiery glint in her eyes._

"_Yeah, Lil?" he asked innocently. Lilly glared at him._

"_Please stop flirting with the nurses on the way to the SONOGRAM!"_

_Scotty wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her to him, and raised his eyebrows teasingly._

"_Are you jealous?"_

"_NO!"_

"_You are, aren't you?"_

"_Valens..."_

_He chuckled._

"_That is clearly Jealous Lilly Face." She punched his arm, narrowing her eyes menacingly._

"_Are you trying to piss me off?"_

"I thought I might find you down here."

The soft voice that reached his ears broke him from his daydream, and Scotty turned, a smile spreading from the corner of his lips.

"It's the only quiet place in the whole building," he replied. Lilly moved towards him, nodding in understanding.

"I know. You sort of just disappeared. Nearly had me worried, Valens," she teased softly.

"Sorry," he replied seriously, "I jus' needed some space, you know?"

"I know. So what were you laughing at?"

"You," he replied. Lilly arched an eyebrow.

"Me?"

"Yeah. That time we were goin' to the hospital, and I got a twitch in my eye just as that nurse walked by."

Lilly laughed at his childlike expression.

"A twitch in the eye? Right."

"It was! You know I'd never wink at anyone else when you're wit' me."

"But you'd do it when I'm not there?"

"Did I say that?" he teased, extending a hand to draw her closer. He tried to kiss her, but Lilly turned her head, and his lips landed on her cheek.

"Lil!"

"What?" she said innocently. Scotty rolled his eyes, leaning back against the boxes and letting her fall against his chest.

"Hey, you remember the time I freaked out at the scan?"

"You bet I remember. That was probably my favourite moment of the whole pregnancy."

"Gee thanks, Lil."

_Dr Klein frowned at the screen. Lilly waited, holding her breath. Scotty tensed._

"_What's wrong? Is it the baby? Is the baby OK?" he asked anxiously. Lilly laughed, turning her head to look at him._

"_Why, Valens! I didn't know you cared," she teased. Her partner narrowed his eyes playfully._

"_I'm here, ain't I?"_

_Lilly leant over to kiss him. Dr Klein chuckled quietly. A soft thump filled the room. The detectives broke away from each other to stare at the sonogram in amazement. Dr Klein laughed at their expressions._

"_There's your baby."_

_Scotty was at a loss for words, his mouth hanging open. Lilly chuckled at the expression on his face. After a moment, the male detective swallowed hard._

"_That's…that's…?"_

_Dr Klein nodded._

"_Baby's quite small, so it was hard to find a heartbeat." Lilly continued to laugh quietly, squeezing his hand. Klein raised her eyebrows._

"_Do you need a moment?" she asked gently._

_Lilly glanced at her boyfriend, and seeing the stunned expression on his face, she nodded._

"_It looks like it."_

_Scotty finally tore his eyes away from the screen, looking to his partner._

"_It has a face!"_

"...and you just couldn't stop saying 'It has a face!'," Lilly laughed. Scotty chuckled.

"Give me a break, Lil. It was the first time I was seein' my kid."

"No, I get it, Scotty. Really. But it **was** kinda funny," Lilly replied with a smile.

"So do I get to know whether we're having an Adam or an Eve yet?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because I have it all planned out. I know just how to tell you."

He pressed her back into the evidence boxes, ravaging her lips with his.

"Just tell me."

"And ruin all my hard work? No way," she teased. He pinned her arms above her head, her squeak lost as she noticed the lust in his eyes.

"Tell me," he murmured dangerously, his voice rough from desire. Lilly smirked.

"No," she replied. Scotty groaned, and pushed his hips against hers in revenge.

"Tell me!"

"Play nice, Valens," Lilly warned huskily. He backed off slightly, brushing his lips over hers in a ghost of a kiss.

"Fine. But I'll get it out of you sometime today."

She could never resist a challenge.

"Bring it on."

* * *

The rest of their afternoon passed without any great event. Even as Lilly switched her bedside lamp off, Scotty tried to get his answer out of her.

"Boy or girl?"

"Not gonna work."

"Boy or girl?"

"Go to sleep."

For the first time in weeks, Scotty slept the whole night through, his arms and legs tangled around hers. As the clock changed to 7:07 the next morning, Lilly leant over and kissed his forehead, watching as he blearily opened an eye.

"Lil..." he mumbled sleepily, "What time is it?"

"It's early."

"Where are you goin'?" She stroked his face, smiling slightly.

"I'm headin' into work. Go back to sleep. I love you." Scotty nodded.

"Love you too," he slurred. The blonde detective stood up, stifling a laugh when she noticed he was already asleep.

A little more than an hour later, Scotty sat down at his desk, craning his neck to try and find Lil. Stillman appeared beside him.

"Scotty."

"Mornin', boss. You seen Lil around?"

The lieutenant nodded.

"She's out talking to witnesses." Scotty looked up sharply.

"WHAT?"

Stillman chuckled at his detective's protectiveness.

"She's with Jeffries, Scotty. They'll be fine."

"Yeah?"

"If it makes you feel better, I spoke to her ten minutes ago. She left you something, by the way, in the break room."

Scotty arched an eyebrow in confusion, hurrying off to find what Lilly had left for him. He saw it stuck to the fridge- a copy of the latest sonogram and a note written in Lilly's familiar writing.

_**You should always listen to me when I say I have a plan. Scratch that. You should always listen to me full stop.**_

He chuckled, turning to where a flat package sat waiting for him on the table. He gently pulled the tissue paper from the gift, a slight frown creasing his brow. A small note fell to the table.

"To Daddy, with love," he read, a grin spreading across his face. His fingers felt soft cotton under his fingers, and he allowed the wrappings to slide from his grasp. Staring down at the gift, tears sprang unbidden to his eyes, and he laughed tearfully. Scotty wiped his hand over his face. _You're simply amazin', Lilly Rush._

* * *

A/N Giggle. What has Lilly left him? And is the baby a boy or a girl? I promise that if you leave me a review, both questions will be answered in the next chapter. Actually, they'll be answered in the next chapter whether you leave a review or not. My ego, on the other hand…that could use some TLC.


	12. Daddy Cool

A/N OK, so I know this chapter is kind of short, but I needed to tie up a few loose ends before I dive into the crazy mayhem that is Ellie Manning. I hope it doesn't disappoint, because one VERY important question is answered, and another (if you're paying attention) is brought up again...ta da!

Disclaimer: Yawn. Stretch. Miaow. Nope. Nothin' new to report.

* * *

Knowing that there was a good chance he had found her surprise by now, Lilly felt the butterflies going crazy. Glancing sideways at her, Jeffries chuckled and shook his head, watching her fiddle anxiously with her hands.

"Will you relax? What's going on with you today?"

Lilly smiled slightly, looking up at the slow-changing numbers indicating what level they were on.

"You'll find out."

"Something to do with that present you left in the break room before we left?" he teased. She narrowed her eyes in his direction.

The elevator finally came to a stop on their level, and Lilly breathed a sigh of relief. Walking as fast as Peanut would allow, she headed towards her desk, her eyes searching for her partner. Holding her phone to her ear, Miller glanced at Lilly, tilting her head in the direction of the break room. Lilly smiled in appreciation, and her colleague nodded, grinning.

Lilly moved silently to the break room, casually leaning against the doorframe. Scotty was still sitting at the table, tears lingering on his cheeks. A smile was permanently painted around his lips, his eyes fixed on the gift in his hands.

"Whatcha lookin' at, Detective?" she said softly. He spun around, leaping out of the seat to wrap her in a tight hug.

"I love you," he said into her hair. Lilly giggled, throwing her arms around his neck.

"I love you too."

"So…" She giggled again.

"Uh huh."

The team appeared in the doorway, all wearing matching looks of confusion.

"Rush, what the hell is goin' on?" Vera asked. Scotty hastily wiped his eyes, picking up the present that had been discarded on the table.

"I'm gonna be a dad," he said in a choked voice.

The couple exchange glances, and Scotty let the tiny onesie unfold, holding it up against his chest. Miller gasped, laughing in astonishment as the male detective hugged Lilly towards him. The three men grinned proudly. Even Manning allowed a tiny smile to tug at the corner of her lips.

The pink lettering read 'Daddy's Little Girl'.

A sudden ringing interrupted the cheerful silence, and all eyes turned to Manning. She blushed bright pink, turning away to answer.

"Not now, Dean...no, I...whatever."

Lilly took a step towards her, frowning in concern.

"Ellie?" she said gently. The younger woman shook her head.

"Sorry. Boss, can I take an early lunch?" she asked quickly, her cheeks flaming. Stillman studied her for a moment, before nodding. Manning was gone before anyone else could say anything. Vera scoffed disparagingly.

"What's up with her now? She's been actin' weird for weeks," he muttered. Miller punched his arms.

"Remember that little talk we had about how you were gonna try and be nicer to her?"

Shaking his head at the argument breaking out between his colleagues, Scotty leant back so that he could look down at his partner.

"So it's a girl?" he confirmed again. Lilly laughed.

"Yes!" A look of sudden concern appeared on her face, her smile rapidly disappearing. "Is that OK?"

Her partner grinned, and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"That's more than OK. You do know that no boy is touchin' her until she's 35, right?"

* * *

It hadn't taken long for word to spread that Baby Valens/Rush was in fact Baby **Girl** Valens/Rush. In fact, Vera and Jeffries took it upon themselves to make sure everyone had heard...and that everyone who wasn't already joined in the bid for birth date. Since the announcement, pools had been closed, money collected **(**Scotty was horrified to learn that his own partner had put money in the gender pool- "It's cheatin' when you already know, Lil!"**)** and new bets placed.

That evening, as the city finally started to wind down for the day, Lilly heard the doorbell ring. She moved as quickly as possible to the front door, resting her hands at the small of her back. She opened the door, a broad smile spreading across her face at the sight of Scotty's parents on the doorstep.

"Hey!" she said, standing aside to let them in. Maria and Ben Valens chuckled, each stopping to plant a quick kiss to her cheek.

"You're looking great, Lilly. Did you eat all that food I made for you?" the older woman asked. Lilly nodded.

"Yes."

"Good. You need to be strong and healthy to deliver _mi nieto. _How are you feeling?"

"Better. Ticking off the days on my calendar, though," Lilly replied. Ben laughed, wrapping her in a one-armed embrace.

"You're doing great."

"Hey, Lil? Do you know where my...?"

Scotty's voice trailed off as he stepped into the living room, staring across at his parents in surprise. Lilly moved to the centre of the room, her eyes flicking uncertainly between them. Maria suddenly left her husband's side, rushing across to pull her son into a tight hug.

"_Dios mío, niño, ¡mirarte! ¿Qué paso, muchacho? ¡Ay, yo estaba tan preocupada por ti!"_

She held him at arm's length, her brow furrowing in concern at the bruises that had yet to fade. Lilly watched all this anxiously, and feeling the tension crackling through the air between the parents-to-be, Ben Valens cleared his throat.

"Maria, help me put this food in the freezer," he hinted. Watching them leave, Lilly folded her arms, nervously tugging her lower lip between her teeth.

"I'm sorry, Scotty," she said quietly, "I should have told you they were coming."

Seeing the genuine distress on her face, Scotty moved towards her, resting his hands in the small of her back.

"It's OK."

"No, it's not! I should have told you that your parents have been coming over."

"As in on a regular basis?"

Lilly let her eyes flick to the floor.

"As in twice a week since..."

"Since I left," Scotty finished, barely managing to speak around the lump in his throat. She nodded slowly, moving her hands to his chest. A voice cleared its throat from the kitchen doorway, and the couple turned. Ben Valens shrugged.

"Couldn't help but overhear. We can leave if you want."

"No!" Scotty said with a fierce shake of his head, "No, I was just surprised."

His mother smiled broadly.

"Good. Now, Scotty, you come help me prepare dinner," she chirped. He groaned, the familiarity of once again being reunited with his parents returning with each second.

"But, Mom!" he whined. Lilly laughed, nudging him in the side.

"Come on. I'll help too."

Ben caught her elbow, pulling her gently towards the sofa.

"No, you will not. You're going to sit here and keep an old man company."

The blonde detective rolled her eyes.

"You're as bad as Scotty," she complained. He chuckled.

"I should think so."

Her face brightened suddenly, and she looked over the back of the sofa into the kitchen.

"Scotty?" she called. He looked towards her, smiling.

"What's up?"

"You want to tell them, or shall I?"

Maria gasped.

"Don't tell me. You're finally getting married!" she exclaimed. Scotty laughed, shaking his head.

"No, Ma. We ain't gettin' married," he said, glancing towards his girlfriend. _Not yet, anyway... _His father winked at Lilly.

"See? I told you, _madre. _You owe me $20," he called teasingly.

"Hush your mouth, _Benito!_"

Scotty exchanged an amused glance with Lilly, and when she nodded encouragingly, he cleared his throat.

"Well, we just wanted to let you know..." His parents were watching him expectantly, and he heard Lilly giggled. "That you're gettin' another granddaughter."

Lilly broke out into laughter at the excited Spanish that followed from the kitchen. Ben leant over to kiss her cheek, and then his new _nieta._

"Get a move on, baby girl," he murmured, "because there's a whole group of people waiting to meet you."

Sitting up on the stool that stood beside the kitchen counter, Maria Valens studied her youngest son carefully.

"Talk to me, child," she said quietly, recognizing the look in his eyes. Scotty shook his head.

"I'm OK, ma. Really."

Maria reached over and took her son's hand, holding it tight between her own.

"I know you are, Scotty. But listen to me, _mi valiente. _You can't be born as a man, Scotty. You were born as a blank canvas, ready to be painted, until you finally get the wonderful masterpiece that is being a man. Fathers, like mothers, are just not born. You can't just expect to wake up one morning and be a father. It's something you learn. Men grow into fathers, and fathering is a very important stage in their development."

Scotty chuckled in embarrassment, a pink stain creeping up into his cheeks.

"You been readin' Lena's psychology books again, Ma?"

* * *

Meh. That'll do. So, coming up next: a little (figuratively and...not figuratively...) part of Manning's story, girl talk, the reappearance of two characters, and some more fluff! YAY! Anyhoo...please may I have a review because I asked so nicely? I even gave you hints to the next chapter! :)


	13. Sugar Momma

A/N Can't stop to chat! Just starting a 12-hour shift, so I really hope you enjoy this chapter- it does answer a whole load of questions about Manning! :) ENJOY!

Disclaimer: If I had time, I'd think up a really witty one of these, but right now I'm just going for no. They're not mine. Yet.

* * *

Stillman dropped a file to the desk, chuckling as Scotty and Kat both lunged for it. Lilly rolled her eyes in amusement, keeping well clear of the struggle.

"New case, boss?" she asked.

"Annual clean out of the Homicide filing cabinets turned up this. Case from 2003."

Vera reached over to snatch the folder from Miller, quickly stepping out of her range and flipping it open. He frowned slightly.

"Karen Smith, gunshot wound to the back. Found in a parkin' lot over in Fishtown."

Stillman nodded.

"They never came up with any leads. Vera, Jeffries, I want you to take the lead on this. Kat, you and El...where is Manning?"

"Not here yet, boss," Miller said. He frowned in concern.

"Anyone tried calling her?"

Lilly glanced over his shoulder.

"No need, boss," she replied quietly. Manning rushed over to her desk, shrugging her bag to the floor and simultaneously straightening her shirt and running a hand over her mousy brown hair.

"Sorry I'm late," she stammered, hurrying towards them. She was going so fast, she stubbed her toe on the leg of one of the desks, and it was only by the grace of Scotty's quick reactions that she didn't land face down on the floor. He arched an eyebrow at her loud curse.

"Whoa, slow down, Manning. You alright?" he exclaimed in alarm. The green-eyed detective blushed deeply, slowly pulling her arm out of his grip.

"What do we have?"

Stillman eyed her for a moment, recognizing the look in her eyes. He'd seen that look before, in one other, and had become close friends with it on some occasions. The mix of fear, defiance, hurt and helplessness...yes, he'd seen that look before.

As if reading his mind, Lilly cleared her throat.

"You want me and Scotty to track down the boxes?" she asked gently. With an almost imperceptible shake of his head, he looked towards her, giving her a tiny smile of appreciation.

"But take it easy, Lil. Miller, you and Manning take a drive over to Fishtown. See what the locals can dredge up."

Manning was out of there before anyone could blink. Lilly frowned, and seeing the thoughtful expression on his partner's face, Scotty shook his head fiercely.

"NO. No, no, no."

"What?" she questioned.

"Don't go makin' her one o' your projects, Lil. She needs anythin', she'll ask for it."

"Lil, you sent the rest of your baby shower invitations out yet?" Miller asked before she left too. Her colleague nodded, smiling.

"Yes. Can you make it?"

"Wouldn't miss it."

Scotty chuckled, resting his feet on the desk. He grinned across at his partner.

"Allie's been cleanin' for days. She don't think twenty people are gonna fit in her livin' room."

Lilly rolled her eyes.

"Not _twenty _people."

"No? How many then?" Scotty teased. She blushed.

"Uh...maybe seventeen?"

Miller laughed, sliding her jacket over her arms.

"I'll see you guys later."

"Bye!" Lilly called, eyeing her partner warily as he moved towards her. From behind he wrapped his arms around her. Lilly leant her head back into him.

"So who's gonna be there?" Scotty asked, kissing her head. His partner thought for a moment.

"Well, me, you...Vera, Jeffries, Boss...Kat and Veronica. Mike, Allie, the kids, your parents, Elena, possibly Carlos too, uh...Lindsey might come for a while...and I think that's it," she said.

"You're not invitin' your dad?"

"I thought about it. But I don't know, Scotty."

"It'll be great, Lil."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

* * *

It was later that morning, when her alarm bells first started to ring. Lilly hesitated outside the bathroom door, hearing sniffles and muted tears from inside. She knocked softly, and pushed open the door. Ellie Manning emerged from a cubicle, wiping the back of her hand over her eyes.

"What's up?" she said shakily. Lilly took a few steps forward.

"Ellie..." she said gently. Manning looked up, fresh tears springing to her red-rimmed eyes. Seeing the soft concern on the older woman's face, she sighed heavily, leaning back against the sinks.

"I'm fine, Lil. Really."

"No, you're not."

"It's just...a friend of mine...a very close friend of mine, is moving away. We've...shared A LOT, and I just don't want to lose my s...him."

Lilly reached out to touch her friend's shoulder.

"If you need some time off, we can sort it." Manning shook her head.

"But then we'll be understaffed. You can't go out on jobs, and..."

"We'll manage, Ellie," Lilly interrupted, "You should have told us."

As they stood watching each other, one pair of eyes concerned and sympathetic, the other dead and full of tears, Scotty's voice could be heard calling for his partner the other side of the bathroom door.

"Lil? Where'd you go?"

Her eyes never leaving Manning, Lilly called in reply.

"I'm just coming."

The younger woman cleared her throat.

"Lil..."

"You know where to find me," Lilly interrupted softly, turning away to leave through the doorway. A familiar figure was standing beside her desk, tossing a paper ball between his hands. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise, a smile tugging at the edges of her mouth.

"You don't work here anymore. Do you want something, or are your pants cutting off the circulation to your brain?"

Kite grinned, placing a hand to his chest in mock hurt.

"Ouch, Rush. Baby's really bringing out the bitch in you," he replied teasingly. Lilly rolled her eyes, letting him place a quick kiss to her cheek.

"How are you feeling?" Kite asked quietly. She nodded.

"I'm fine," she said. Scotty chuckled, extending a hand to the lawyer.

"How's it goin', Kite?" he said. As they shook hands, Kite shrugged.

"Well, my life is not half as exciting as yours, man. Hope you're prepared for a girl, Valens. I've heard that they can be a real handful."

Lilly scoffed.

"What would you know?" she retorted. Her eyes flicked over his shoulder to the woman hovering awkwardly in the background. Recognition made the detective frown, amusement beginning to shine through. Kite cleared his throat, his cheeks turning pink.

"You remember Julie, don't you?"

"Julie?"

"Julie. ADA Julie."

"Oh, _that_ Julie," Lilly said in realization. Kite looked over his shoulder, beckoning Julie forward.

"Julie, Lilly Rush. Rush, my girlfriend, Julie."

"Your girlfriend?" Lilly echoed in a mixture of amusement and disbelief. "Didn't you...?"

"Blow her off for you? Yes."

Lilly rolled her eyes.

"Well, don't say it like _that..._"

Julie took a step forward, smiling shyly. Turning away from Kite, the blonde detective extended a hand.

"Hi."

"Hi. It's nice to meet you. Congratulations, by the way, in case Jason forgot why we're actually here."

"Thanks," Lilly laughed. It was strange, she realized, to be this close to Kite and not feel anything more than friendly affection. Julie suddenly glanced at her watch.

"Crap, I have to go. I'm due in court."

"OK, I'll give you a ride," Kite said, "Lil, Scotty. We should do dinner."

"You can cook," Lilly replied, hugging him quickly. A sudden idea struck her as she watched them head towards the exit.

"Hey, what are you two doing next Saturday?" Lilly called after them. Kite looked towards Julie, and after receiving a negative answer, he turned back to the blonde detective.

"Nothing. Why?"

"Baby shower," Scotty said, scribbling the address on a piece of paper. The lawyer grinned.

"We'll be there."

* * *

Stillman folded his hands together, staring down at the paper without really seeing it. She was walking a path that many had travelled down: hurt, pain, self-destruction and denial. Ellie was closing in on herself, her failure to let anyone in acting as a catalyst to her downfall.

And suddenly John found himself wanting to help her as he had helped Lilly. He saw in her the same confused desperation that had haunted Lilly's eyes before Scotty, and the idea of almost losing a second detective to that pain damn near broke his heart.

There was a sudden tapping at his office door, and the lieutenant looked up, breathing a slow sigh of relief when Lilly stuck her head around the door frame.

"Hey. Can I come in?" she asked. He nodded.

"Was that Kite I saw hanging around?"

"He just wanted to say hi," she replied as she sat down, "I'm worried about Ellie."

Stillman removed his glasses, nodding.

"I know. She's struggling."

"But not at work. There's no problem here. Well, except Vera."

"Vera doesn't like her because he feels like he needs to protect her like he protects you and Miller. He doesn't want to like her just in case she gets hurt, and he feels guilty."

"So..." she hinted, searching his face for an answer.

"So we wait. And we watch. And then we decide. You know how it is." A smile spread from her lips.

"Yeah. I know how it is."

* * *

The clock had just alerted them to the fact that it had turned one o'clock, and Lilly's stomach rumbled loudly. Miller laughed.

"Think Peanut's trying to tell you something?"

"She's driving me crazy, Kat! I'm hungry, and then there's being pregnant hungry, which is about a million times worse!"

Manning stopped beside them.

"Hey..." she said slowly. Lilly's smile faded slightly.

"Hi."

"I'm going for lunch. Do you...can I...?"

Miller and Rush exchanged glances, simultaneously standing up and reaching for their jackets.

"There's a place nearby. It's quiet," Lilly suggested. Kat nodded her agreement, and left with Manning walking uncertainly behind them.

They had never used their badges for anything other than official business, and today was no exception. As it happened, the diner just around the corner from the precinct wasn't that busy, and they didn't have to wait long for a table. Lilly immediately asked for a glass of water and a peanut butter jelly sandwich. Miller chuckled.

"You still counting down the days?"

"Yes."

Manning sat down opposite them, smiling the first real smile they'd seen from her in days.

"Are you excited?" she asked. Lilly grinned.

"Trust me, it's equally mixed with fear."

"You'll be fine," Miller reassured, "You've been shot, haven't you?"

Lilly rolled her eyes.

"Gee, thanks for the reminder. How could I forget?"

"What about you?" Kat questioned Manning in a soft voice, "You ever taken a bullet?"

"Nope."

The blonde detective studied her friend (if they could be called friends) carefully.

"Why did you ask us to have lunch with you?" she said, her tone gentle yet blunt. Manning sighed.

"Because you told me something, Lil, that night at the bar. You told me that being one of you meant having no secrets."

Miller had been silent for a while, until now.

"Who's Dean, Ellie?" she asked gently. Manning swirled the water around in her glass, absently staring down at it.

"Dean and I...met in our high school freshman year. Finally got serious end of twelfth grade. 2001, he leaves for Berkeley, I go with him. The perfect scenario. Dean was everything," she said with a wistful smile.

"Until he wasn't," Lilly finished softly, images of Ray popping unbidden into her mind. Manning shrugged as if ten tonne bricks were weighing on her shoulders.

"We were young. Stupid. We...just didn't work."

"Even after you gave up your place at Harvard to follow him to California?" Miller said. At Manning's surprised expression, her two colleagues raised their gold badges.

"It's our job to be curious," Lilly said. Manning sighed in defeat.

"Things got complicated. Balancing us, our careers...I loved Dean. I just..." Another sigh tore through her, "I just didn't want to marry him right then."

"Then? What about now?" Lilly questioned.

"If he asked me now...I'd say yes in a heartbeat."

"So what's changed?"

"I have."

And that was the end of it. She was as close to tears as anyone had seen her get, and her two colleagues left it at that. On their way back, Manning stopped beside the coffee cart, shrugging slightly.

"Go on up. Vera will kick my ass if I don't bring him his coffee," she said. Miller narrowed her eyes at the mention of her partner.

"He gives you any trouble, just send him to me. Fatass needs a good ass whoopin'."

A chuckle broke from her lips as she watched Lilly and Kat disappear inside. _There's totally something going on between Kat and Nick, _she thought mischievously. _Mental note to ask Lil._

"Ellie!"

The order for coffee was forgotten at the voice calling her name. Manning turned, eyes widening at the sight of the two people walking towards her.

"MOMMY!"

A smile teased the corner of her lips, and the detective bent down to catch the little boy flying into her arms.

"Hey, baby. I missed you," she said, expertly masking her surprise.

"I missed you too, Mommy." His tiny arms went around her neck, and Ellie looked up at the guy in confusion.

"What are you doing here?"

"I have a meeting in Denver..."

"No," she stated. The guy shrugged apologetically.

"Sorry, El. I did leave you a message. Maybe you should start checking your answer machine."

"No, Dean, please!" she begged, "We're in the middle of a case! You can't just..."

Dean handed her a red backpack.

"You're the one who wanted more time with him, Ellie."

"Yeah, because I only get two damn days out of every other week!" she said angrily, tears appearing in her eyes. Dean shook his head.

"He has to be at school at..."

"8:30. I know, Dean," Ellie snapped, snatching the backpack from his hand and throwing it over her shoulder. He sighed heavily.

"Fine. I'll be back on Monday in time to pick him up from school."

The little boy raised his arms, and Dean picked him up, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"Bye, little man."

"Bye, Daddy."

The child leant forward, and Ellie took him back into her arms.

"I guess we'll see you on Monday," she said evenly. With another apologetic smile, Dean began to walk away. The little boy frowned slightly, looking up at her.

"Why are you crying, Mommy?" he asked in a small voice. Ellie smiled, rubbing her nose against his.

"I'm not, baby. I just don't want Daddy to go."

"I don't want him to go too. But he'll come back and then me and you and Daddy can all go home, and we can watch ALL the movies and eat loads of popcorn. And then at bedtime, you and Daddy can put me to bed and in the morning we can have pancakes."

"Manning?"

Closing her eyes, either out of gratitude that she didn't have to shatter the hopes of her child once again, or mortification that it would be **him** that came across them, Ellie felt her son bury his face in her neck, and she turned in the direction of the voices.

Coming to a stop in front of her, Jeffries and Vera stared at the young boy in wonder.

"I'm gonna take a wild guess," Vera began seriously, "an' say that this kid ain't got nothin' to do with our case."

Ellie lowered her head, settling the boy more comfortably on her hip.

"No. This is my son. Tyler."

* * *

I tried to make it a surprise ending, but I'm not sure how surprising it turned out. Anyway, I'd love to hear what you think, so please click that little review button! :)


	14. Shake, Rattle And Roll

A/N I thought I should warn you. This is a monster chapter. And I'm not even sure I like the way it turned out, but you know I hate to keep you waiting, so...anyway, thanks to everyone who's been continuously reviewing! It really means a lot. So in this chapter, we pick up a few minutes after last chapter. We also tie off a loose end that I'd completely forgotten about, so I'm very grateful to ViolaLucien who reminded me of that certain loose end! :) I know you'll probably have a few questions that are still unanswered by the end of this chapter, but I'm claiming old age is to blame for the suckiness of certain parts...

Disclaimer: As previously mentioned, my old age is causing all sorts of things to go wrong up there. Spontaneous combustion, Grand Theft Auto, memory loss, shoplifting of television characters...the whole shebang. Amidst all this, the song at the beginning is the first verse of a song called 'White Lies' by Paolo Nutini, and the quote at the very end is by Linda Sunshine.

* * *

Her bladder had demanded yet another trip to the bathroom, and as Lilly re-entered the bull pen, she frowned at the sight before her.

"Why do the lost kids always turn up in Homicide?" she muttered, heading towards her desk. Jeffries over heard her comment, and shook his head seriously.

"That's no lost kid, Lil," he answered in a grave tone. She arched a delicate eyebrow, sitting down in Scotty's lap and watching Vera talk quietly to the little boy as they sat in the break room.

"Well, who's kid is he then?" she asked in confusion. Scotty pointed to Stillman's office, and Lilly turned, her eyes widening and her jaw dropping as she noticed who was currently being yelled at.

"No way."

"Yes way, Lil," Scotty replied, "Filled out that little 'Number of children' box wit' a zero."

Miller shook her head.

"Poor Ellie. I guess this is what she meant when she said things got complicated between her and Dean."

"Hey, you guys?" Scotty interrupted softly.

_**There's a heart on the line, and it rests with your eyes**_

They looked up as Vera took the child's hand and brought him forward.

"Tyler, these are the rest of your mom's friends," he said gently. Tyler looked around at them nervously, his green eyes now making it blatantly obvious that Manning was in fact his mother.

"Hi," Lilly said gently, smiling reassuringly. Tyler gripped Vera's hand tighter, and the burly detective felt a strange jump in his chest.

"Tyler, right?" the blonde continued, sliding off her partner's lap and reaching for her own chair, "have a seat."

His eyes flicked between her and the bump and the empty seat.

"Mommy says I should always let ladies with babies have the empty seats," he said shyly. Lilly's smile grew, and Miller chuckled.

"It's OK, Tyler. You can sit down."

He did, tentatively scooting himself back on the chair. Scotty leant forward.

"So how old are you, Tyler?" he asked softly.

"Five," came the whispered reply. The male detective ruffled the boy's blonde hair, flashes of memory coming back to him. After a moment, he shook his head.

"I'm hungry. You want somethin' too?"

Tyler nodded uncertainly, and Scotty disappeared into the break room to steal a candy bar from Lilly's hidden supply. Vera was still watching Stillman lay into Manning, watching her flinch every time his voice rose to a shouting level, and Miller saw the muscle in his jaw tighten angrily.

"Nick..." she warned.

"What?" he snapped.

"Going in there like a bull in a china shop won't help anything."

"Fuck this shit," he muttered, standing up abruptly.  
_**  
Please don't fade and please don't cry**_

'_**Cause it's all white lies  
**_

Vera stormed into Stillman's office, throwing the door open. Manning and her boss stared at him in shock.

"Ellie, Tyler's askin' for you," Vera said, barely controlling the angry tremor in his voice.

Something was wrong with this situation. Vera didn't even like her, so why was he all of a sudden jumping to her defence? As he held the door, Manning walked out of Stillman's office, her head hanging low and wary of her frie...were they her friends? She'd lied to them, let her personal life affect the job...she wouldn't be surprised if they hated her now.

_**Take a chance watch it fall**_

She found tears springing to her eyes, and in one quick movement, Manning lifted Tyler out of his seat, avoiding the sympathetic looks boring into her. Tyler wrapped his arms around his mother's neck, his body stiffening as he picked up on her anxiety. Something was wrong with this situation. She headed for the exit, not bothering to stay for the rejection and disapproval she knew was bound to follow.

_**Grab too much and lose it all**_

"Ellie!"

Manning hesitated at the sound of Lilly calling her name. She tried to turn back, but her feet would move in no other direction than forwards. She could hear Stillman turning his anger on Vera. Something was wrong with this situation.

"Mommy?" Tyler whispered sadly, and she hated herself for putting the confusion in his voice.

_**Now I've lost my disguise**_

Something was wrong with this situation. It wasn't until her little boy raised a hand to her face that Ellie realized she was crying.

_**It was all white lies.**_

* * *

The day's excitement had completely exhausted her, and by the time they got home, it was a struggle for Lilly to keep her eyes open. Scotty had only gone to the bathroom, but when he returned to the bedroom, his partner had already changed into her nightwear and was asleep on the bed.

Pulling on a pair of sweat pants and stripping off his t-shirt, he lay down beside her, propping himself up on one elbow just so he could have a better view of her face. It was as if she somehow knew he was there, because after a moment or two, Lilly opened her eyes.

"What?" she asked sleepily, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You are just unbelievably beautiful when you sleep," he said in a soft voice. Lilly stretched out against him.

"Flatterer," she accused with a yawn. Scotty chuckled.

"Maybe. But you love me anyway."

"Oh, really?"

"Really. Now shut up an' go to sleep."

Lilly snuggled into him, the warmth of their joined bodies more than enough to not need the covers. She kissed his bare chest, feeling his skin against hers.

"'Night, Scotty. Love you."

"I love you too, Lil. Now sleep."

"Stop tellin' me what to do, Valens," she murmured, and then she was asleep.

It took Scotty a while to succumb to unconsciousness. He couldn't seem to get Manning and Tyler out of his head. He should have seen it. Lilly did. Lilly had seen that there was something wrong, and maybe if he hadn't discouraged her from pursuing it, Ellie wouldn't be in the situation she was now.

The clock read just past two when his eyes finally gave up in their struggle, and from then on, Scotty slept solidly...

...that is until a slim figure sat down on his legs. Lilly bounced up and down, shaking him until she saw some sign of life.

After a moment of violent shaking, Scotty swatted a hand in his partner's direction.

"Come on, Scotty! Get up! I told Allie we'd be there at 11!"

"What time is it?" he grumbled.

"Just after eight," Lilly replied brightly. With a frustrated growl, Scotty rolled over, pinning her to the bed beneath him.

"Tell me you didn't jus' wake me up two and half hours early for no damn reason?"

Lilly smirked infuriatingly.

"Oh, I've got a reason," she replied huskily, the hungry glint in her eyes sending chills racing down his spine. Scotty chuckled, burying his face in the crook of his neck and laughing as she released a soft sigh.

"So how long have we got?" he murmured. Her hands were free, and Lilly let them trail over his body until they reached his hips. She tugged at the waistband of his sweatpants, gasping slightly when his tongue flicked out to touch her skin.

"A while."

"Bring it on, Lil..."

* * *

"I think my bump's too small," Lilly stated. Allie ushered them inside, shutting the door behind them.

"Hello to you too. Everyone's already here, and your bump is fine. I thought you said you'd be here at eleven?"

Lilly shrugged casually.

"We got delayed," she replied. Allie narrowed her eyes in suspicion, but thankfully any other doubts were left unspoken as Miller walked into the entrance hall. She burst into laughter at Lilly's t-shirt. The blonde detective raised an eyebrow, a smirk teasing her lips.

"What?" she asked in mock confusion, "You don't like it?" Miller wiped tears of laughter from her eyes.

"There's nothing wrong with it, Lil. I just never had you down for the 'I HEART MY BUMP' kinda girl."

Lilly laughed.

"Well, I like it. Plus it covers this stupid belly band."

"Belly what?" Scotty questioned in confusion. His partner lifted her t-shirt, revealing a black piece of fabric stretched over her bump.

"A belly band. Means I can still wear these jeans with the button undone, and not look like a total tramp," she explained. Maria Valens appeared beside them.

"Pregnant woman's best friend," she added, kissing both her son and his girlfriend on the cheek.

"You look good, Lil. Allie, I think the food is ready, and I think Veronica was looking for you, Kat."

The two women headed in different directions, and Lilly was suddenly filled with an almost painful happiness. Watching the emotions flickering across her face, Scotty couldn't tear his eyes from her. This, he realized, was what Lilly _should _have been like- what she should have been like had she been constantly surrounded by a family who loved her.

"Hey," he said quietly, lifting a hand to her cheek, "you still with me?"

Looking up at him, Lilly knew that he was perfectly aware of the thoughts running through her head. She smiled reassuringly, taking his hand in hers.

"I'm fine."

Scotty felt the smile slide from his face as he looked into the living room. He stopped just inside the doorway, before looking back at his mother with narrowed eyes.

"What is she doing here?"

Lilly frowned, trying to follow his line of vision. His mother sighed.

"I couldn't just ignore her, _niño_."

"Ignore who?" Lilly asked quietly.

"Elissa's mom," he replied through gritted teeth.

"Oh," she said in a hushed voice. "Scotty, let's go. It's not worth..."

"No, _bella_. This will not be a problem," Maria said firmly.

"_Ha sido un largo tiempo, niño," _came the sudden voice from behind them. Scotty turned, reaching for his partner's hand. Hearing the breath catch in his throat, Lilly knew that this was the woman he had been so shocked to see. She squeezed his hand, watching Maria Valens make a hasty departure.

"_Que tiene. ¿Cómo has estado?"_

"_Bien. He estado bien."_

Taking a deep breath, Scotty gently pulled Lilly forward, feeling a small smile appear at the surreptitious hand she stroked along his back.

"Gloria, this is Lilly. Lil, meet Elissa's mother, Gloria."

"It's nice to meet you," his partner said, extending a hand. Gloria took it, studying Lilly carefully. The blonde detective squirmed under the intense gaze, but remained silent. After a moment, the Hispanic woman nodded, smiling up at Scotty.

"_Su hija será hermoso._ _Me alegra que haya encontrado otro querida, guerrero. Felicidades."_

And as suddenly as she had arrived, she was gone, disappearing into the back garden. Scotty released the breath he didn't know he'd been holding, and Lilly raised a hand to his cheek in concern.

"Are you OK? What did she say?"

He wrapped his arms around her waist, breathing in the delicate scent of her perfume and all the things that made her Lilly.

"She said she was glad I found another woman that I loved. She said congratulations, an' that our daughter will be beautiful."

Lilly looked up at him, brushing his hair back until it spiked up.

"Scotty, what's a _guerrero_?" she asked gently. Scotty kissed her forehead.

"Warrior," he replied in a whisper. After a moment, she spoke again, as if it was just them in the house.

"Come on. Leave with me."

Scotty rested his forehead against his partner's, taking a deep breath.

"Ma's right, Lil. This is your day. Your baby shower. I'll be fine." Lilly raised a sceptical eyebrow.

"Really?" He crouched down to place a gentle kiss just above her belly button.

"Really. Now, _bella_, don't go eatin' too much o' that cake, OK? Leave it to Mommy. An' if Uncle Nicky says anythin', block your ears in there. Got it, baby?"

Lilly laughed, running her hands through his hair.

"I think she's got it, Daddy. Now go lose at poker."

He only got two steps into the living room before she noticed his jaw tightening and his fist clenching. Seeing the subject of his rage, Lilly turned him towards her, narrowing her eyes fiercely.

"No," she stated bluntly.

"I don't want him anywhere near you," Scotty growled.

"Does Carlos look like he's on drugs? No."

"That ain't the point an' you know it."

"Just try to get along for today. Please."

Her partner tried to move across the room, but Lilly wrapped her hands around his shirt, holding him in place.

"Please, Scotty. For me."

"Why does this mean so much to you anyway?"

"Because if Carlos loves Lena even **half** as much as you love me, then he feels just as guilty over putting her in hospital as you do for Ed Marteson shooting me. It must be killing him to know what he did to her."

"Lilly..."

"Please. Just try," she begged. One glance into her big blue eyes and Scotty knew that he was finished. He sighed heavily, nodding. Lilly exhaled in relief.

"Thank you," she said softly. Grasping her hand, Scotty led her across the room. His sister looked up, sending them a cautious smile.

"Lil, Scotty..." Elena greeted uncertainly. The male detective felt his partner squeeze his hand, and he took a deep breath.

"Carlos, _me __gustaría_..."

Lilly stamped on his foot, and stifling a cry of pain, he got the message. Continuing in English, Scotty winced at the pain spreading through his foot.

"I was jus' wonderin' if you wanted to play poker wit' us. Kitchen's for guys only."

Carlos' eyes widened.

"Me? Really?"

"You can stay wit' the ladies if you want," Scotty added quickly, "I jus' figured you might wanna get away from all the screamin' an' shit."

"I'd like that, but I haven't played poker in years," Carlos admitted. Lilly rested a hand on his arm.

"Scotty doesn't care. If you suck too, it makes him feel better."

* * *

They'd exhausted all the books of names, the catalogues of clothes and furniture, and the food was fairly demolished. From her seat on the sofa, Lilly jumped up at the sound of the door bell, almost running towards the door. Allie rolled her eyes.

"Will you take it easy? I don't want you dropping that child on my new floor, Lilly!" she shouted, aiming her comment at the blonde's fast retreating back. Maria Valens laughed, shaking her head.

"Leave her. She's having too much fun to listen."

Miller chuckled.

"Just don't let Scotty see her runnin' around like a hyped up bunny rabbit."

"Who's a hyped up bunny rabbit?" Lilly asked, reappearing in the living room.

"Veronica," Miller replied quickly.

"Who was at the door?" Maria said. The blonde detective smiled, glancing over her shoulder.

"A friend," she replied in a soft voice. Manning stepped into sight, and Miller stood up.

"Hey," she said in surprise. Ellie smiled sheepishly.

"Hi. Ty, say hello."

"Hello," Tyler said as he held out a present, and Lilly took it from him.

"Thank you, Tyler."

"You're welcome. I picked it out by my own," he replied shyly, a hint of a smile ghosting his normally serious face.

"Really? Wow!"

"Lilly, where's the...?"

Stillman stopped short at the sight of Manning, and running intervention, Lilly took him to one side.

"You've always told me that people make mistakes. That everyone deserves a second chance. Look at her, John," she said with quiet conviction. The use of his first name caught him unawares, and his eyes flicked to the younger woman, watching her talk to Miller.

Lilly continued.

"She's me, John, with all the same crazy relationships and the same fucked up family. She's one of **us**. And you told me that all we had to was wait, and watch, and then we decide. So decide."

Stillman felt the distant prick of tears at the very back of his eyelids, and he met and held Lilly's crystal blue stare, feeling once again that burst of pride he felt whenever she put him back in his place. He nodded.

"Alright, Lilly. Alright," he murmured, moving towards his straying detective, "Manning, a word."

"Now?" she asked uncertainly. Lilly stepped towards her.

"Hey, Tyler, you want to come meet my friends?" she asked, extending her hand. His eyes flicked between her face, Manning's face, and the hand. After a moment, he slid his palm into Lilly's, and followed her into the living room.

With a soft smile, Lilly looked back over her shoulder just in time to watch Stillman take Ellie's elbow, leading her gently to a private corner, that all too familiar air of patriarchal love surrounding him. _That's the way he used to talk to me, _she remembered. _I just hope he can fix her like he fixed me._

* * *

If Lilly had to pick her favourite five moments, her baby shower would definitely be amongst them. From the kitchen, the sounds of the poker game made her laugh, the occasional curse word causing the woman to shout back about their blatant disregard for good manners.

Outside in the garden, the children could be heard playing a game of football, and even Manning seemed to have relaxed some. She touched Lilly on the shoulder.

"Hey."

"Hi," Lilly replied in surprise, "you're not leaving already, are you?"

"No. I just came to apologize for not telling the complete truth when I had the chance, and to say sorry for dropping in on you like this."

"You did get an invitation, didn't you?"

Allie threw a ball of paper at the pregnant detective.

"Hey! Stop chit-chatting and open some of these damn presents!" she called teasingly. Lilly rolled her eyes.

"We'll talk later, OK?" she said in a lower voice, and Manning nodded.

"Definitely."

Lilly rubbed her hands over Peanut, smiling as her daughter (it really did feel good to be able to admit to herself that it was definitely a girl) kicked fiercely.

"Valens!"

"Rush!"

They shouted for each other simultaneously, and moving in the direction of the other's voice, ended up toe to toe in the kitchen doorway.

"Hi," Lilly said with a smile.

"Hey," he replied, "what's up?"

"We're doing the presents. I'd like it if you were in here."

"Wouldn't miss it," he grinned. Vera looked up at her.

"What wouldn't he miss? Poker?"

"Presents," Lilly corrected. Watching the exchange in the doorway, Miller frowned thoughtfully.

"How long do you think Lil will stay 'Rush'?" she asked quietly. Allie and Maria exchanged glances.

"Not long," the older woman replied with a smile. Lilly reappeared in the living room, waiting for her partner to take a seat before sitting down in his lap. Julie passed her a plate.

"I saved you a piece of cake," she said. The blonde detective smiled gratefully.

"Thanks."

"OK, so let's get started with presents," Allie began as the six women shuffled around to make room for the men that had followed.

"Jesus! Watch it, fatass!" Miller exclaimed. Vera rolled his eyes.

"Well, why don't you move up?"

Lilly and Scotty exchanged amused looks, before she cleared her throat.

"Why doesn't one of you just sit in the other armchair?" she pointed out. Miller blushed, glaring at Lilly. The blonde smirked infuriatingly, noting that even now, neither of them moved to the spare seat.

"So who's first?" Allie said, watching the whole exchange with a grin.

"I am," Lindsey said as she handed over a present, watching as the pregnant detective readjusted her position so that Scotty could see. At an agonizingly slow pace, Lilly began to undo the tape, peeling each piece off one by one.

"This is worse than your birthday," Scotty teased, kissing her cheek.

"Shut up."

Lilly carefully removed the paper, smirking up at Lindsey.

"This won't come back to bite me on the ass will it?" she asked. Her friend rolled her eyes.

"Open the damn gift, Lil."

The blonde detective did, sliding off the final layer of tissue paper and smiling at the silver photo frame in her hands. Scotty chuckled, tracing his fingers over the engraving.

"'Mom, Dad and Baby'. Thanks, Lindsey," he said sincerely. She shook her head.

"No problem. Just make sure I get a copy of whatever picture ends up in there."

The doorbell rang again, and Lilly frowned. Scotty looked around, doing a quick head count.

"You invite someone else?"

"No. Did you?"

"No. You want me to get it?"

She stood up.

"No, I got it," she said, heading for the front door. "It's probably just one of Allie's neighbours complaining about the..."

The words disappeared from her tongue as she opened the door. Lilly felt her chest tighten.

"Hey, Lil."

For maybe the first time in her adult life, Christina wasn't plastered in make-up, and the still fading bruises on her face were clearly visible. Lilly took a deep breath.

"What are you doing here?" she asked quietly. Chris smiled shyly.

"I called the precinct. Said I was family. They told me where you'd be."

"What are you doing here?" Lilly repeated. Christina felt her smile fade.

"Don't worry. I'm not staying. I wanted to apologize, and to give you this," she said, offering up the small wrapped box. Lilly looked down at it warily. Christina laughed softly.

"Gift receipt is in the box, Lil."

The blonde detective stared at the gift, silently contemplating what to say. After a moment, she looked up, closing one eye against the bright sunlight.

"Where did you go? I woke up that morning and you were gone," she asked. Christina smiled sheepishly.

"Yeah, it was kinda crazy. But I got a lawyer, Lil. She's doing it pro bono. Judge overruled my sentence. And I got myself into Temple. Business management, you know?"

A tiny smile appeared on Lilly's face.

"Wow," she said softly.

"Yep."

For the first time, the blonde detective noticed a third person on the path, and frowned slightly. Chris looked over her shoulder, and the guy stepped forward.

"Hi," he said with a smile.

"Hi," Lilly replied guardedly. Her sister took a deep breath.

"Lil, this is Ben. We're...friends."

The irony wasn't lost on Lilly, and she arched an amused eyebrow at her sister's obvious discomfort.

"Friends?" she echoed. Ben nodded.

"Good friends. We met at the hospital."

"Patient?" Lilly asked.

"Doctor," Ben replied with a smile. Her eyes flicked back to Christina, and seeing her sister's need for approval, Lilly felt a familiar twang at her heart strings.

"Are you sure you can't stay?"

"I don't think I should, Lil," Chris replied sadly, "but I just wanted to let you know that I'll be staying in Philly. With Ben..." her voice trailed off. He cleared his throat.

"I live on my own in a two bed apartment. I needed a flatmate," he explained. Lilly nodded.

"Just don't let her cook."

Christina started in surprise at the jibe, before a smile spread across her face.

"Thanks, Lil," she said sarcastically, secretly elated that her sister had accepted the proverbial olive branch. Ben laughed, and took her hand.

"We better go. It was nice to meet you, Detective."

"You too."

"I'll be a minute, OK?" Chris said quietly. Ben nodded, walking back to his car. Lilly watched him leave, approval evident on her face.

"He seems nice," she said nonchalantly. Christina nodded.

"He is."

"I'm still running a background check."

"Knew you would."

"You better go," Lilly said quietly, "he's waiting."

Lilly watched her walk back down the path, and found herself calling out before she could contain it.

"Wait!"

Chris turned back, and suddenly found herself wrapped in a tight embrace. Lilly felt tears appear in her eyes, and she blinked them away.

"I'm glad you came," she said. Christina hugged her back fiercely.

"You taught me everything I needed to know," she whispered. Lilly smiled, finishing the quote.

"And I was only in the sixth grade at the time."

* * *

Meh. Maybe just leave me areview to let me know what you thought? I always love reading them. Oh yeah, and who else is totally psyched that Cold Case is back for Season 7? I've already made a list of predictions of stuff that I think will go down. Or would LOVE to see happen. Yeah, ya'll know what I'm talking about! :D


	15. I Can Only Be Me

A/N *walks in with a white flag indicating peace* I'M SORRY! I did have reasons- my best friend went into labour- I am now the proud godmother/honorary aunt of a beautiful baby boy! Giggle. And then I had some pretty major stuff in my own life to take care of, and maybe one day soon I'll tell you all about that. Anyway, lame excuses aside, I hope this chapter makes up for it. It's pure fluff. With smut. I know that's your favorite, right? :P So yeah, **this chapter is rated M. **I really hope you enjoy it, because we're starting to hit the home run!

Disclaimer: It said on the carton 'REFRIGERATE AFTER OPENING', so I did, because let's face it- Scotty is just too hot.

* * *

With a smile on his face, Scotty watched his partner move towards the sofa and sit down beside him. He leant forward, catching her lips in a kiss that made her head spin in delight. Lilly pulled back breathlessly.

"Wow," she said faintly. He grinned.

"I love you."

"I love you too. What brought that on?"

Scotty felt his smile fade slightly.

"A guy can't jus' kiss his girlfriend an' tell her he loves her?"

"Scotty..." Lilly warned, and he sighed.

"I feel like I ain't been sayin' it enough."

Lilly ran her fingers over his brow.

"Scotty, I know you love me. You don't have to keep telling me just in case I forget," she reassured softly.

"I don't?"

"No. But it is nice to hear it once in a while."

He opened his legs, letting her scoot back between them.

"Our daughter's a lucky girl," he said quietly, pressing his chin to her shoulder. Lilly nodded.

"She is."

He kissed her collar bone, looping his arms around her waist.

"So you had fun today, right?"

"Yeah. It was...nice."

"Nice?" Scotty questioned in amusement.

"Shut up."

"Alright, alright. Hey, I didn't think we'd get that many gifts. Didn't know we were that popular."

Lilly laughed, hugging his arms.

"Well, the onesie that says 'My mother loves Broadway!'..."

"Could only be from someone who knows you can't stand musicals, so...Miller an' Veronica."

"Right. The newborn Eagles shirt and hat are from Vera..."

"I swear I didn't ask him for that."

She gently slapped his arm, and Scotty chuckled.

"The stuffed rabbit is from Jeffries, uh...the gift set with ducks on it is from Manning and Tyler..."

Scotty reached over to grab something off the coffee table.

"What's this?" he asked. Lilly smiled.

"A baby book from Kite and Julie," she replied, taking it from him and flicking through a few pages. He kissed the spot behind her ear, smirking as she arched back into him.

"You haven't opened the one from Boss."

Lilly shook her head.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because..."

"Because it means too much?"

"Yes," Lilly admitted, feeling his hands snake around to caress their daughter.

"Open it now," Scotty said gently, reaching for the small rectangular box that was sitting nearby. Lilly hesitated.

"I haven't opened yours yet," she protested.

"Who says I'm givin' Peanut anythin'?" he teased, "I'm her daddy. I get the rest of her life to spoil her."

The blonde detective laughed.

"I know. But you did get Peanut something for now, didn't you?"

"Open Boss' present an' maybe you'll find out."

"Ass," she muttered, reluctantly tugging at the tape on one corner of the box. Lilly finally pulled the paper off, and gasped.

"Scotty, this is a Tiffany's box."

"Tiffany's? As in the real expensive Tiffany's?"

"As in...oh my God."

He peered over her shoulder, his eyes widening.

"Wow," he murmured, reaching around to lift the tiny silver spoon out of the box. Words were engraved on the handle.

_With much love from Grandpa_

Tears appeared in her eyes, and a lump rose in Lilly's throat.

"See?" she said tearfully, "This is why I didn't want to open it earlier."

Scotty chuckled.

"Hey," he soothed, kissing the back of her ear, "it's OK. _Cálmate, querida. Está bien._"

Lilly leant her head back against his shoulder, looking up at her.

"Will you talk to Peanut in Spanish?" she asked, wiping her eyes. He shrugged.

"Do you want me to?" he replied. She thought for a moment, before nodding.

"Yes. I know it would mean a lot to your parents."

"Lil, you're givin' them another grandchild. You don't need to do anythin' else for them."

* * *

They were sitting in silence, just listening to the other simply being there. Their days seemed to have disappeared, and suddenly Peanut's imminent arrival was looming on the horizon. Releasing a slow breath, Scotty let his fingers trail up her arm, falling through her soft blonde hair.

"You don't want another kid, do you?" he asked softly. It was more of a statement than a question, and Lilly stiffened in his arms.

"Scotty..."

"No, Lil, it's OK. Really."

"But..."

"Seriously. I shouldn't have said anythin'."

"Well, will you let me speak?" Lilly said in frustration. He was silent, clenching his jaw. She continued in a quiet voice, rubbing circles on his chest.

"No, I don't want any more children. We both grew up in families with more than one child, but I hated it, Scotty! What happens if Peanut isn't as smart as the second child? What if she's not as fast, or as good at sports, or what if Number 2 is just liked more? If we have another baby, I couldn't stand it if they didn't get along."

He turned her around to look at her seriously.

"It wouldn't have to be like that, Lil."

"I know, but...look at me and Christina, Scotty. It would kill me if we had daughters that hated each other."

"So maybe we should try for a boy?" he said softly. Lilly sighed in defeat. She shifted positions, grinding her body against his as she tried to get comfortable.

"That's not helpful," she murmured. Scotty tightened his arms around her.

"I'm sorry."

She kissed him, her lips soft against his. Her plan to divert his attention from that particular conversation thread was thwarted when his hands found the back of her head, deepening the kiss and pulling her tight against him. Her tongue snaked out to stroke his, and Lilly ran her hands under his t-shirt. Scotty tilted his head, giving him better access to the depths of her mouth.

One of her hands snaked up to tangle in his hair, pulling his mouth closer. Scotty tore his lips away, only to take a breath, before attacking his partner with another fierce kiss. Manoeuvring Lilly around him, he slid his body underneath hers until he was lying flat on the sofa.

Lilly sat up, chest heaving as she rested her hands flat on his chest. After staring down at him for a moment, she slid from his lap, standing up and smirking slightly.

"Come on, Romeo."

He followed her down the hall, watching the sway of her hips as she glanced over her shoulder, her smirk turning into a full blown grin. Scotty chuckled, kicking the door shut and advancing on her. As his lips found the corner of her jaw, Lilly groaned slightly, tugging at the zip on his jeans.

"I'm not in the mood for games," she murmured. Scotty grinned into the smooth curve of her neck.

"No?"

In one smooth movement, he had stripped her vest off, tossing it to the ground and pushing her down on the bed. Lilly felt a gasp leave her throat, and she fumbled around trying to remove his pants. Laughing, Scotty helped her along, and when he was finally down to his boxers, he crawled up beside her.

"Havin' a bit of trouble tonight?" he teased, pulling at her panties and letting them fall to the floor.

Narrowing her eyes, Lilly slid her hands down beneath the elastic of his underwear. Her fingers gripped his hardness, the slight pressure of her fingertips causing his eyes to widen. She stroked his length, smirking as the cocky grin slid from his face.

"Having a bit of trouble tonight?" she echoed.

"Touché," he muttered, gently nipping at her earlobe. Her cool hand encircled his length, her thumb flicking over the head until she heard his groan of pleasure.

"Jesus, Lil...

She giggled, finally releasing her grip on him and completely removing his boxers. At the light in her eyes that seemed to be aimed just at him, Scotty felt his smile fade. He looked down at her, his eyes dark and hungry.

"Let me make love to you," he said huskily, the breathlessness in his voice sending shivers down her spine. Lilly lifted a hand, letting her fingers dance through his hair.

"Since when do you ask?" she whispered teasingly.

Scotty felt a dirty grin spread across his face, kissing a trail down her body. He took his time, trailing kisses over her collar bone, and then down, teasing one nipple before moving to the other. Lilly arched up to him, her body yearning for his touch like a desert yearning for water. His lips lingered on the inside of her thighs. Lilly groaned when his breath dusted over her centre, quickly turning it to a growl of frustration when he moved away, letting his mouth find the best trail up to her lips.

"Please..." she begged, shifting her hips until his erection was pressed against her centre.

"Jesus, Lil," he said. Tugging on her bottom lip, he slid into her, and they released a simultaneous groan of pleasure. Fully sheathed inside her, Scotty rolled onto his back, pulling Lilly with him until she was straddling him.

"Oh God," Lilly gasped, clutching at his neck as her partner began to pump his hips, thrusting himself up into her. Sweat beaded on their brows, the friction causing pressure to build up between them. Scotty plunged his tongue into her mouth, his hands tracing the smooth skin of her body. Her body tightened beneath his palms, and Lilly met each of his thrusts with her own.

"Lil..." he growled.

"Scotty..." she replied breathlessly, "so...close..."

Seconds later, they came together, him biting down on her neck, her clutching at his slick shoulders until she wasn't certain where her body ended and his began. Scotty grunted his release into the curve of her shoulder, and then rolled to the side, his breaths heavy and disjointed.

"We're really good at that," he murmured with a laugh.

Lilly giggled, pulling the sheets up over their bodies. Sex with Scotty was always ridiculously good, whether it lasted three minutes or three hours...yes, she remembered with a wistful smile, her birthday celebration really had been fantastic.

Sleep began to tug at her heavy eyelids, and she stifled a yawn. Feeling her warm body next to his, Scotty wrapped her in a tight hug, letting her head rest on his chest.

"I love you," he said quietly.

"I love you too."

She yawned again.

"I'm tired, Scotty," she murmured. He pulled one of her legs over him, one hand resting on her thigh, the other tucking the sheets around her.

"You can go to sleep. I'm here."

"I know you are," she whispered sleepily, "You promised you wouldn't leave again."

There it was again. That niggle at the back of his mind that told him this was the perfect time to put that question out there. He knew that the answer was going to be one of two things, no matter how he asked it. Part of him wanted the elaborate plot- dinner, desert, and champagne- but there was that other part, that small but infuriatingly persistent part, which wanted it to be done THEIR way.

So it was now, when they were curled up beside each other, that Scotty finally found the courage to ask what he had been meaning to ask for weeks.

"Lil?" he whispered. She murmured something into his chest, burying further into him. He took a deep breath. _Here goes nothin'._

"My ma and pa had it easy, Lil. They knew from the moment they met that they would spend the rest o' their lives together. An' nearly forty years on? Yeah, they're still goin' strong. That could be us, Lilly. I know...I know that I wanna spend the rest of my life wit' you. I know I want to wake up every mornin', an' kiss you, an' watch our little girl try and pour the milk because she's fed up of waitin' for us. Lilly, I want all those things forever. So...will you do me the honor of bein' my wife?"

That had sounded pretty good, he thought, and with a victorious gleam in his eye, Scotty glanced down at her to see her response.

Yes, that proposal had been pretty damn good.

If only she'd been awake to hear it.

* * *

I know, I know, ya'll hate me. But I think they discussed some pretty important things in that chapter, right? So please bear that in mind when you review, because in upcoming chapters (as in the next couple) both Lilly and Scotty will have a lot of time to think, and you know I love to hear what you think! :)


	16. If We Had The Chance To Say

A/N So this chapter was kinda awkward to write, but I'm fairly pleased with the way it turned out. You can look forward to many things, including...well, why don't you just read it? LOL, I really do hope you enjoy it, though.

Disclaimer: I do not own Cold Case, unfortunately. Those of you that know me will understand how much I wish that I did right now.

Disclaimer #2: Yes, the medical knowledge is accurate, but to a very general level. It's my job to ensure that everybody understands that each pregnancy is different, and the effects of drugs will differ from patient to patient. The aftercare is completely and totally what they would do after this particular situation. It's the same for every one of these sent to this place. Anyone curious yet? :P

* * *

"Hey, you guys?" Lilly called, shifting uncomfortably. Miller looked up.

"What's up?"

"I'm not feeling too great. I'm going to head home, OK?"

Vera nodded, failing to mask the concern on his face.

"OK. See you tomorrow, Lil."

"Bye, Lilly!"

They turned back to their work, quickly refocusing their attention on the files. Barely a step through the gate, Lilly felt her head spin. A sharp pain began in her abdomen, growing in intensity.

From the corner of his eye, Vera saw her stumble, bracing herself against the wall.

"Call an ambulance," he said, straightening and slowly placing the folder down. Miller frowned. A phone began to ring.

The pain was worse now, and blinding lights flashed across her eyes. An ache began at the front of Lilly's head, matching the dull throbs radiating from her uterus. Vera watched her wince in pain, now almost doubled over.

"Call an ambulance," he repeated. A lone tear wound its way down Lilly's cheek, the ringing of the phone lost amongst the roaring in her ears.

"Help..." she whispered, feeling her legs give way. Vera was across the room in three strides, catching Lilly as she crumbled to the floor.

Having heard the soft urgency in her partner's voice, Miller had already picked up the phone (not the one that was ringing, unfortunately), and the ambulance was on its way. Her face turned pale as she watched Lilly collapse.

This couldn't happen. This was Lilly. Miller felt her world slow down, fear making her freeze. Flashes of memory shot through her mind, and a lump rose in her throat. This couldn't happen. This was Lilly. This was Lilly's baby. She couldn't be unconscious. She couldn't. This couldn't happen. The phone was ringing, louder, louder until it was the only thing she could hear...

"MILLER!"

She blinked, shaking her head and crossed to her colleagues. Vera felt his chest constrict.

"Kat, she's bleedin'," he said quietly, looking down at the red stain spreading across Lilly's jeans.

"Where the hell is that ambulance?" Miller yelled, panic rising in her voice, "Where the hell are they?"

Vera stood up, lifting Lilly with him until her limp form was settled in his arms.

"We ain't losin' her, Kat."

"I know. Where the hell is that ambulance?" she shouted into the department, "And somebody answer that fucking phone!"

* * *

She knew there were people hurrying around her, but all she was aware of was the pain spreading from her uterus to the rest of her body. That smell...she was in a hospital. She hated hospitals. A door opens, shouting, calling, where was Scotty? Door closing, on my count one two three lift, soft...did the lights have to be that bright? Dim the lights please, no more shouting, soft voices soft soft soft. Beeping and cold...is that Miller? Pain. Why does it hurt, Mommy?

Dr Klein took her hand, and Lilly noted (somewhere at the back of her mind) that she looked scared.

"Lilly, it's Dr Klein."

"Baby..." she gasped, wincing as a contraction washed over her. Dr Klein looked up.

"Get her hooked up to a fetal monitor, and I need an ultrasonograph in here ASAP. Lilly, I need you to tell me how it feels."

"Hurts...baby. Vera said...bleeding."

"Is she moving, Lilly? Is Peanut moving?"

"No...not moving. Scotty?"

Why was Vera there? He wasn't supposed to be there. So that _was _Miller...

"She was fine this mornin'. Pain started in her abdomen, radiatin' up," he said sharply, his voice serious and to the point, "dizziness an' then...an' then the bleedin'."

Dr Klein shot him a quick smile to show her appreciation.

"Thanks. OK, people, I'm taking a stab in the dark and saying moderate placental separation. Get me two pints of A positive, and fluids."

"You want me to call down to delivery?" one of the nurses said, already hooking the bag of IV fluids to the stand. The OB/GYN shook her head, attaching a clip to Lilly's finger.

"I can't make this call. What do you think?" she asked, glancing across to the nurse and receiving a grim smile in return. The nurse (Lilly thought her name was Lucy, but she wasn't certain) gestured to the wires coming and going from the motionless blonde.

"I think we need to get that baby here as fast as possible," she admitted. Klein nodded, but before she could say anything, an angry voice reached her ears.

"Where the fuck are they?"

Showing the first signs of movement since she'd woken, Lilly tried to sit up, her eyes widening, but found herself pushed back to the bed. Mustering up all the strength she had, the blonde detective called out.

"Scotty!"

Then there he was, clutching her hand, pressing kisses to her hair line.

"I'm here," he murmured, and Lilly knew that he was fighting off tears, "I'm here."

"It hurts," she replied, finally letting go of the barriers that had been holding her tears at bay. Scotty wiped them away, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"I know," he soothed, before turning in Dr Klein's direction. "What happens now?"

Lilly groaned as a contraction sent pain circling around her abdomen. Scotty squeezed her hand, swallowing his fear and panic. A few moments passed, everybody thinking different thoughts that eventually led to the same path- what if?

Dr Klein looked between the two, her eyes occasionally flicking to the fetal monitor screen.

"The baby is stable, so we can do it the way you planned, as long as we get this show on the road," Dr Klein said firmly. Lilly shook her head.

"No!" she cried, tears streaming down her cheeks, "I won't do it! It's too early!"

Dr Klein bent down close to her, taking Lilly's other hand as another contraction tore through her slim body.

"Lilly, listen to me," the OB/GYN said, her tone gentle but urgent, "The placenta has separated. If we don't get her out of there, Peanut might not make it."

Lilly looked up in shock, her gasps of pain and exertion stopping as she realized exactly what was at stake.

"Scotty," she said panickedly. He was still beside her, pressing kisses to her forehead and clinging to her fiercely.

"It's OK," he soothed, "it's OK."

"I can't do it, Scotty," Lilly sobbed, "I can't do it."

"Yes, you can. It's us, remember?"

She gave an almost imperceptible nod into his neck, and the male detective looked up at the doctor in relief. Dr Klein moved forward, pulling on a pair of rubber gloves.

"OK, start her on 5 milliunits oxytocin. Let me know when things get going," she instructed, stepping outside to Vera and Miller. Kat clutched at his arm, not caring how things looked to the outside world, because right now it was Lilly and Scotty and their baby that needed them. The doctor smiled reassuringly.

"They'll be fine," she said. Vera nodded, but Miller could tell that he didn't believe her.

"Anythin' we can do?"

"Go home. There's nothing else you can do here today."

Vera nodded, and swallowed the lump in his throat.

"An' you say she'll be OK?"

"She'll be fine. We're monitoring both of them, and the nurses will let me know if anything changes."

She disappeared down the hall, leaving the two detectives standing together in silence. Hearing the hitch in her breath, Vera squeezed her arm, clearing his throat.

"Come on. I'll buy you a coffee on the way home," he said quietly. Miller's face softened and a tiny smile appeared around her lips.

"And a donut?"

"Don't push it."

* * *

In the six hours it had taken Lilly's uterus to become fully dilated ("Why is it taking so damn long, Scotty?"), Scotty had called his parents four times, Stillman twice and Miller once, persuading each and every one of them that they weren't needed at the hospital.

"SCOTTY!"

He chuckled at his partner's scream, counting the different emotions in her voice. Pain, excitement, frustration...fear. She was scared. He could see it in her eyes, but it wasn't the same fear that they'd seen in her before. It was a "Oh my God, how the hell did this happen and what if it all goes wrong?" kind of fear. Understandable, reasonable yet completely out of reach.

But Scotty was terrified. He could pretend that he wasn't, but the minute Lilly saw even the slightest crack in her facade, she would freak out. Even more than she already was, and if she couldn't hold herself together, then Peanut...

"Scotty, where the hell are you? I'm not doing this by myself!"

"I'm here," he replied quickly, hurrying back to her side, "I'm here."

Another contraction made her face contort, and beads of sweat trickled down her brow. He took her hand, letting Lilly squeeze his palm until her knuckles turned white.

"I HOPE YOU'VE LEARNT HOW TO RECREATE ON YOUR OWN, BECAUSE THIS. IS. IT!"

Scotty winced as her hand clamped down on his wrist.

"Keep breathin', Lil," he soothed through gritted teeth. Wrong answer.

"Keep breathing?" she snapped incredulously, "Have you ever tried squeezing a football from your uterus?"

"It'll all be worth it," he replied with a grin.

"Screw you."

Scotty kissed her forehead, his lips lingering over her heated skin.

"You couldn't have stuck to the birth plan?" he murmured. Amidst her tears, Lilly laughed, grabbing his hand and squeezing it tight.

"Asshole."

Dr Klein looked up, smiling reassuringly.

"You're doing great, Lilly. OK, one last push..."

"Fuck! I hope one child is enough for you!" Lilly cried, "Because this is the last one! I'M DONE!"

A loud cry filled the room, and her eyes shot open. Scotty pressed a trembling kiss to her forehead, halfway between laughter and tears.

"You did it, Lil. You did it," he said. She collapsed onto the pillows. Dr Klein laughed.

"And it's definitely a girl. Congratulations," she said happily, "Daddy, you wanna cut the cord?"

As Scotty carefully snipped the cord, tears won out, and he laughed tearfully.

"She's beautiful, Lil!"

"Yeah?" she asked wearily, a smile spreading from her lips. There was no doubt her lungs worked, and Scotty had to chuckle at the noise being produced by his tiny daughter. The nurse bundled her up into a blanket, moving to the side of the bed.

Ignoring the pain, Lilly moved look at her baby, her trembling hand pulling down the blanket. She gasped as she got her first glimpse of bright blue eyes.

"Hey, little one," she said softly, daring to touch the baby's cheek. The baby immediately quietened, and Lilly felt a few tears fall onto her cheek.

"I'll be seeing you," she whispered, pulling her hand away.

"Do you have a name picked?" Dr Klein asked, and they knew from her tone that she hated interrupting. Scotty shook his head.

"We didn't get a cha..."

"Maddy."

He looked down to find Lilly looking up at him uncertainly.

"We never really decided, but you suggested it, and I really do like Maddy," she explained quietly. Scotty grinned, leaning down to kiss her softly.

"It's perfect," he replied. Dr Klein nodded, sparing them a quick smile.

"Maddy. Lilly, we have to take her now."

As Maddy was wrapped up in another blanket and carried away, Lilly felt as if her heart had been ripped out of her chest. She'd never fallen in love at first sight before, until Maddy. The hollow space at the pit of her stomach seemed to grow with each passing second, and the blonde detective felt her throat tighten under the effort of fighting back her tears.

"So what now?" she asked softly. Hearing the waver in her voice, Scotty wrapped his arm around her, looking anywhere except down the corridor after their daughter. He pressed his face to her soft blonde hair, desperately hoping that she wouldn't catch the scream he barely managed to contain.

It took Dr Klein a moment to realize the question was aimed at her, the guilt from simply being in charge almost overbearing. She cleared her throat.

"Maddy's been taken down to the NICU. They'll make sure she's stable, make sure she's getting enough oxygen, and then they'll take some blood."

At the idea of her daughter being poked and prodded by someone not remotely related to her, Lilly jerked in his arms, crying out in a mixture of pain and frustration. Scotty's hold on her tightened, as if he were literally holding her together. He knew that his partner risking her health for Maddy's was something he'd have to get used to.

Tears soaked into his shirt. He didn't know whose they were.

"Then what?" he asked in a hoarse voice. Dr Klein swallowed the lump in her throat. This was by no means the first premature baby she'd delivered, but it never got easier, and this time she'd become...attached. Served her right, she guessed. Sometimes she really hated her job.

"We'll start her on IV fluids, and give her an injection of Vitamin K to prevent any bleeding."

Scotty released a shaky breath, the weight of the day's events suddenly crashing down on him. Lilly's face was hidden in his neck, her shoulders trembling with every suppressed sob.

"When can we see her?"

"It's best if you stay up here for a while. Let Lilly take a shower, get something to eat. I'll send someone up to talk to you in about an hour. If there's anything I can do..."

Jemma let her voice trail off, and with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, she left them alone. She'd only taken two steps down the hall when she heard Lilly dissolve into broken sobs.

Yes, sometimes she really hated her job.

* * *

If you hate the name, take it up with someone else, because I've been trying to think of a suitable name since Chapter 1, and this was the best I could come up with, so *blows raspberry*. I really do hope you enjoyed it! I'd love if you could leave a review just to let me know what you think!


	17. Every Planet We Reach Is Dead

A/N Man, a whole load of things to write about today! Phew. OK, here we go. I know you're all waiting for the others to meet Maddy, but that will be next chapter. This chapter we have more angsty stuff. Kinda. Sorta. Maybe. Whatever. Anyway, I just want to say thanks to everyone who has been reviewing! It really does make me happy to know that you guys are enjoying what I right! So onto the giant disclaimer...

Disclaimer: Oh, jeez...OK. The song at the beginning belongs to The Fray, medical knowledge belongs to me (feel free to ask any questions if you want!), and all unfamiliar characters most likely come from my imagination. Title of the chapter comes from the name of a song by Gorillaz. It's strangely addictive.

* * *

**some things we don't talk about  
better do without  
just hold a smile  
we're falling in and out of love  
the same damn problem  
together all the while**

Lilly eased herself down into the seat, watching Stillman get two cups of coffee and wishing to God that she was upstairs in the NICU with her baby. Scotty was there- they'd been taking it in shifts for the last 24 hours, only leaving Maddy alone when the staff changed. But Scotty was there.

That was something, she supposed. No matter how empty she felt, how completely useless, Scotty was there. But she couldn't get rid of that nagging feeling deep down in the pit of her stomach that told her she should be there too. Call it maternal instinct.

**you can never say never  
****when we don't know why  
time and time again  
younger now then we were before  
****  
don't let me go**

"How are you holding up?" Stillman asked gently, sliding the cup across the table. Lilly reached for it, wincing at the sharp pain.

"Everything's fine."

"Lilly..."

"I'm fine, boss. They're looking after her," she replied, an answer that didn't answer his question.

"I know that. But I want to know how..."

"This isn't about me. I wasn't the one who was born six weeks early."  
**  
don't let me go  
****don't let me go,  
**  
Stillman sighed, knowing that he wouldn't get anything else from her. A small smile spread from her lips at his defeated nod.

"I'm fine," she repeated softly, bending her head to look him in the eye, "I'm fine."

"You've just had a baby. You're not fine," he protested.

**don't let me go,  
don't let me go,  
don't let me go  
**

Lilly rolled her eyes, the frayed string holding onto her temper finally giving way.

"It hurts, OK?" she exploded, "It hurts. Not as much as when I was shot, but it hurts. And I'm scared. I'm terrified that I'm going to lose my baby before I've even had the chance to hold her. So no, I'm not fine, but I have nothing else. I have...nothing."  
**  
picture you're the queen of everything  
as far as the eye can see  
under your command  
i will be your guardian  
when all is crumbling  
steady your hand  
**  
Stillman didn't know what to say. Lilly looked away, taking a few deep breaths to control her racing heart.

"I'm going back," she said quietly, already on her feet without so much as a wince. After a moment, Stillman stood, sighing heavily.

"I'm right behind you."

**you can never say never  
when we don't know why  
time and time again  
younger now then we were before**

As they stepped out of the elevator, her heart stopped, and the sound- more than a sob, but not quite a scream- that tore from her throat wasn't one Stillman would forget in a hurry. Scotty was outside the room, and even from this distance, she could see the fear in his eyes. Lilly watched in horror as Maddy was surrounded by doctors, and ignoring the almost crippling pain, she ran towards him.

"Scotty? No, Scotty, what…?"

Scotty caught her before she could burst into the room. He rested his hands on her shoulders, trying to hold her still.

"Lilly, let them work."

**don't let me go,  
don't let me go,  
don't let me go,**

The blonde woman tried to push past him, feeling tears spill down her cheeks.

"Scotty! What's wrong? What are they doing? Where are they doing to her?" she asked desperately. Scotty fought back his own tears, pinning her arms to her sides in a tight hug.

"Lilly, stop it...stop, Lil..."

**don't let me go,  
don't let me go,  
don't let me go  
**  
Lilly struggled fiercely, trying to break out of his hold.

"What's wrong with her?" she shouted, "Scotty! What's wrong with her?"

"She stopped breathin', Lil."

"NO! Maddy!"

Realizing that Maddy had already been taken away, and Scotty had no intention of releasing her, Lilly sank down against his chest, collapsing in grief.

"What's wrong with her?" she sobbed, clutching at her partner's jumper.

**we're falling apart  
and coming together again and again  
we're coming apart  
but we hold it together  
hold it together, together again  
****  
don't let me go,  
don't let me go**

* * *

She was curled up on the bed, her knees hugged to her chest. Scotty sat beside her on the hospital mattress, one of her hands sandwiched between his. For the past thirty-seven minutes, Lilly had been staring into space, tears streaming down her cheeks, and occasionally releasing a soft sob. He had always hated waiting.

Waiting for George to crack. Waiting for Lilly to tell him how she really felt about Chris. Waiting for her to come out of the woods. Waiting for her to wake up after being shot. This was definitely the worst. Waiting for the doctor to tell them whether their daughter was going to make it or not.

Dr Klein entered the room, and they both turned to their eyes to greet her. She attempted a smile, but it failed miserably. Well, let's start with the good news.

"She's stable."

Lilly seemed to deflate on the bed in relief, sinking down until she was flat on the mattress. Scotty clutched her hand to his chest, and received a tiny squeeze in return.

"There's a 'but' coming," the blonde detective whispered. Klein nodded slowly, and as if someone had pulled the ground out from beneath him, the male detective felt his heart plummet.

"Jus' tell us, doc," he said hoarsely.

"Maddy has a condition called apnea of prematurity. It's, uh...it's...put simply she forgot to breathe. In many cases of central apnea, the nervous system isn't fully mature, so babies just can't manage. They're heart rate drops, blood oxygen level falls..."

Receiving no sign that she should stop, other than Lilly's slightly frantic breathing, Dr Klein pressed on, desperately hoping her professional mask would slide back into place.

"It's really not as bad as it sounds," she reassured, "Most cases of apnea of prematurity resolve themselves, normally by the time the child is 40 weeks old."

"Most?" Lilly echoed in a dull voice, "What about the rest?"

She should have known that Lilly wouldn't let it go that easily. Dr Klein swallowed the lump in her throat.

"In a few cases, a baby requires assistance with a bag and mask to begin breathing again. Central apnea, like Maddy has, can be treated with a medication called aminophylline or with caffeine. Both of these drugs stimulate the baby's immature respiratory system and reduce the number of episodes of apnea. If they don't, or if the episodes are severe enough to require manual stimulation, the baby may need to be put on a ventilator until the nervous system matures. That's the worst case scenario, but these next few hours are critical."

Lilly rolled onto her side, wincing at the sharp pain.

"Worst case scenario is death," she whispered, "I think I'd like to be alone now."

Scotty exchanged glances with the doctor, and they both stood up. The male detective leant over to kiss his partner's cheek. Lilly trembled beneath his lips, and Scotty realized that she was hanging on by a thread.

"Don't give up on her, Lil," he murmured, before following Dr Klein out of the room. The door had barely closed when Lilly's thread snapped. She dissolved into tears, soft sobs racking her small frame.

From the corridor, Scotty felt tears appear in his eyes as he watched his girlfriend break down. Dr Klein touched his arm.

"Scotty?"

"She's not gonna be OK, is she?"

"As I said, Maddy will..."

"Not Maddy. Lil. Lilly ain't gonna be fine."

The doctor took a deep breath.

"I can't say. Look, your family is still here. Let me go talk to them, OK?"

He released a long sigh, his eyes fixed on his distraught partner. He nodded.

"OK."

* * *

Dr Klein stopped short as she entered the waiting room. Ten pairs of eyes stared back anxiously. She took a deep breath.

"Who is NOT part of the Rush-Valens party?"

A single hand went up.

"Mr West, your wife is still in delivery. I promise that someone will come and get you as soon as she's out."

Ben Valens and Stillman stepped forward.

"What about Lilly and Scotty?" the lieutenant asked.

"They've gone down to the SCBU with Maddy. There's a slight problem with her lungs," Dr Klein said quietly. Miller pushed her way to the front, her face pale.

"How slight is slight?"

The doctor's silence gave them their answer. Ben cleared his throat.

"So what can we do?"

"Go home."

At the voice from behind her, Dr Klein turned, letting Scotty step into view. His father stifled a gasp at how pale his son was, and after a moment, nodded slowly.

"We'll be back later," he agreed in a grave voice. Scotty managed to let out a tiny smile of appreciation, but it was gone before anyone else could notice it. Maria's jaw dropped.

"We can't just lea..."

"Now, _mi amor_," her husband interrupted. With a sigh, Scotty's mother allowed herself to be led out of the room, stopping only to kiss her son on the cheek. Miller stepped forward.

"How's Lil?" she asked gently. The male detective shook his head, not even having the words to attempt to describe how his partner was feeling. Vera patted him on the shoulder, looking just about as devastated as Scotty. Miller surreptitiously squeezed his hand, and as her strength was passed on in that quick touch, the burly detective took a deep breath.

"What can we do?"

"Take Miller home," Scotty replied quietly, "go be with Veronica. We'll call if we need anythin'."

His friend nodded, guiding Miller towards the door. She turned back, her eyes darkening in anxiety.

"Scotty..."

Everything she wanted to say was expressed in that one word, and Scotty nodded in understanding, breaking all the rules and giving his colleague a quick hug.

"I know," he said softly, "I know."

* * *

She could never understand why there was always music playing in hospitals. She'd heard that music was like a pain killer for babies- ironic, she thought, that the ones who should never have to feel pain often had so much of it to fight through.

Lilly folded her arms, staring through the panel of glass at the rows of small cots. She sniffed, wiping her eyes.

"Lilly?"

She turned, managing to tear her eyes away from the small blonde head in front of her. Stillman took a tentative step forward, smiling softly.

"Hey," his detective replied in a hoarse voice. Stillman gently placed a hand on her shoulder.

"How's she doing?" Lilly shook her head, shrugging slightly.

"Look at her," she whispered. The lieutenant moved to stand beside Lilly at the window.

"You should talk to Scotty."

Lilly felt tears slide slowly down her cheeks.

"I can't. This is all my fault, and if she…he'll hate me," she sobbed softly. Stillman felt his own heart ache for the woman standing next to him. Reaching out, he pulled Lilly into a tight hug, holding her close as she cried.

"It's alright, Lil," he said softly, "We'll get through this. I promise."

* * *

Ben Valens let the door shut behind him with a soft click. Pausing in the doorway, he looked up, admiring the stained glass and stone carvings. He headed down the aisle. Scotty didn't even glance up as his father sat down beside him.

They sat in silence for a moment, until the older man began to speak.

"Lord in Heaven, we ask that you give us hope in our time of fear, and we pray to you, O Heavenly Father, that Maddy returns to us unharmed. This is all we ask of you."

Tears began to crawl from under Scotty's closed eyelids, slowly at first, then faster and faster until he could no longer stop them. Falling sideways into his father, the detective released a choked sob. Ben wrapped an arm around his son, pressing a kiss to his forehead just as he had done when Scotty was small.

"It's alright, son," he said softly, "We'll get through this. I promise."

* * *

It was late in the afternoon. Scotty was aimlessly wandering the hospital, not quite able to make it upstairs to face Lilly. He knew she didn't really mean it when she said she wanted to be alone, but it some ways it was easier to handle things separately. It didn't make things so...blurry.

In his mind, things were written out clearly in big black marker pen. Stopping, Scotty sighed heavily, scrubbing a hand over his rough chin. He looked down the hall, recognizing the figure sitting slumped in a chair. Those chairs were ridiculously uncomfortable- he should know. Shaking his head to rid himself of pointless thoughts, Scotty sat down beside the man.

"You're the guy from the waiting room," he said slowly.

"Dan West. You're Scotty, right? Guy with the huge family?"

A tiny smile spread across the detective's face.

"Yeah."

"Hey, how's your daughter?" Dan asked gently.

"They got a whole team o' people helpin' her."

"That's good."

After a few moments of silence, Scotty gave his companion a sideways glance.

"What about your wife?" he murmured, leaning his head back against the wall. Dan smiled sadly.

"Eight centimetres."

"So why are you still sittin' here, man?"

"My wife found out that I had an alcohol addiction. Said how could she trust me with a baby if she doesn't know whether I'm sober?"

"Are you?" Scotty asked curiously.

"Am I what?"

"Sober."

"Two years."

"Then why are you still sittin' here?" the male detective repeated. Dan heaved a heavy sigh.

"Lexie doesn't want me near her. She'll hate me if I go to her."

"She'll hate you more if you don't."

"I just don't get it, man. I'm a good person. I turned my life around, and I get nothing but shit ass karma."

Scotty was silent for a moment.

"Sometimes life just...sucks. There ain't nothin' we can do 'cept wake up an' deal wit' every 24 hours as they come. It don't matter what we believe, if it's God, or karma, or crappy little amoeba, but somewhere along the line, probability says we all gotta get the raw end o' the deal sometimes."

He shook his head, exhaling slowly.

"Six billion people in the world, someone lucks out, man," he said quietly. Dan looked at him with a slight smile.

"So life's a bitch?"

Scotty chuckled.

"Pretty much."

* * *

She hated being the only mother on the ward with no baby in a cot beside her. She stuck to her room, just to avoid the sympathetic eyes and concerned conversations taking place behind hands. The nurses seemed to realize that she wasn't much for talking, because when they came to check on Lilly, they remained silent, only speaking to let the detective know how she was doing.

Minor tear, lactation consultant will be along to help with expressing milk, Maddy's feeding well from the breast milk in the bottles, and so on and so on until Lilly just stopped listening.

She remained motionless the whole time the nurse was seeing her. It was as if she was there, but not really there. When the nurse was finished, Stillman reappeared in the room, just in time to see his blonde detective lie down and turn onto her side.

"Can I come in?" he asked. There was no reply, so he took it as a yes. She wanted to hide behind her walls, he knew that. She wanted to run, to avoid confronting the giant monster of fear that threatened to take over, but he wouldn't let her do it alone. Stillman sat on the edge of her bed. Tears crawled slowly down Lilly's cheeks.

"Lil?" he said softly. She blinked. Stillman touched her hand, feeling her flinch away.

"You don't want to talk, that's fine. But listen to me, Lilly, don't do this on your own. Let Scotty be there for you."

More tears spilled over her eyelids. The lieutenant tenderly brushed a stray strand of hair from her cheek.

"You're not the only one hurting, you know. Scotty's not only facing losing the baby...he's facing losing you as well."

He fell silent. A moment later, Lilly sat up, tear tracks shining on her cheeks. She took a deep breath, brushing a hand over her hair and then wiping her eyes. Nodding, Stillman handed her the jumper of Scotty's that was lying on the end of the bed, and the blonde detective slipped it over her head, breathing in the familiar smell that surrounded her. Wincing as she slid off the bed, Stillman bent his had to look her in the eye. He opened his arms, laughing softly as Lilly gave him a quick hug.

"Thank you," she whispered, and received a gentle squeeze for her words.

Scotty was leaning against the wall outside the NICU, and opened an eye at the sound of footsteps approaching. Seeing his partner standing nearby, he straightened up.

Lilly folded her arms, attempting a smile. She hesitated for all of a millisecond, and in one fluid movement, she walked into his arms, clutching at the material of his jersey. Scotty tightened his arms around her, resting his chin on her head.

"I'm sorry," she sighed.

"It's OK. We're OK."

"I'm sorry I froze you out," she mumbled tearfully, "I didn't mean to."

Scotty nodded.

"Hey, it's OK," he soothed, rocking her side to side in his arms, "Ssh, it's OK."

"I'm sorry," she sniffed.

"I promise it's fine, Lil. Anyway, you blockin' me out? That's sorta a good thing," he replied quietly.

"Really?"

"It's how I know you're scared."

* * *

Aw, man! That was probably my least favorite chapter to write, because I do fluff SO much better, right? Yeah...we are on the upward path to FluffLand now. However, we are WAY more than halfway through. Sniff. I hope you can leave me a little review to let me know what you think, because I really do like hearing what you think!


	18. Shatter Resistant

A/N OK, so I've eased up on the angsty stuff, right?! That's good! LOL, I promise (how many times have I said that?) that we're reaching the light at the end of the tunnel.The song used at the beginning is the first part from 'Beautiful' by Eminem, off his latest album. Oh, don't look at me like that! It's good work out music. I know our favorite Latino is missing for a lot of this chapter, but he's back on top form next time! :D *dances for joy*

Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers apply- all medical knowledge is mine and I cannot (will not) be blamed for anyone who decides to follow it! ;) Once you've read the chapter, you will know that a) Cold Case is definitely not mine, and b) ...I don't know what B is...

**

* * *

**

**Lately I've been hard to reach  
I've been too long on my own  
Everyone has a private world  
Where they can be alone.  
Are you calling me, are you trying to get through?  
Are you reaching out for me, and I'm reaching out for you.**

The feeding nurse had been to talk to Lilly about expressing milk, and had left the room with a grin and several bottles full of milk. When Scotty finally got up the courage to ask her about it, he couldn't help but chuckle at her reply.

"One day we'll try sticking suction cups to your nipples and see how you like it."

Was it wrong that he found that strangely erotic? That seemed like years ago, although Scotty knew it hadn't been more than an hour. Now, Lilly was asleep beneath the blanket, her hand wrapped tightly around his. He sighed, gently brushing a lock of blonde hair from his partner's peaceful face.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you," he whispered around the lump in his throat. He shifted his position in the uncomfortable seat, stroking Lilly's hand.

"_Quiero pasar el resto de mi vida __con tu y me siento solo que no pude decirle en ingles. __Te amo, Lilly, con todo mi corazón."_

Feeling her stir, Scotty froze. She settled down again, shifting closer to him. Certain that she was asleep, the male detective continued to speak softly.

"_Sólo deseo que podría hacer desaparecer todo."_

The door slid open behind him, and he turned his head sharply. Di shut the door behind her.

"Heard she wanted to be on her own," she said quietly. Scotty shook his head.

"I don't know where else I should be. The baby's sleepin', I can't go home..."

"You think she knows what you're saying?"

Scotty cracked a smile.

"Not a word."

Di chuckled.

"Let me guess. You can tell her all the things you can't tell her in English?"

"Yeah."

"Darlin', you don't think she knows you're here? Look at her, child. You think that girl could sleep half as well if she thought you were gone?"

"You're kinda frustratin', you know that?" Scotty said with a smile. Di laughed.

"I know. Now, are you gonna introduce me to your child or not?"

Leaning forward to kiss Lilly's forehead, he stood up, running a single finger down her cheek.

"I'll be right back, Lil."

* * *

Di was right. Lilly was fully aware that Scotty had been there. She had even heard (heard, but not fully understood) what he had said. He had slipped out quietly, and Lilly had finally sunk into a deep sleep, letting exhaustion claim her once again. It was the sunlight pouring in through the window that woke her up. Lilly sat up, yawning and rubbing her eyes. The clock on the wall said that it was 4:19- she'd slept the whole day. _But I really do feel a whole lot better._

She sighed, looking down at the man sleeping in the chair beside her. Scotty was resting his head on the edge of the bed, lines of worry creasing his brow. The female detective slowly reached out to smooth a finger down his face.

"You're my hero, Scotty," she whispered, sliding off the bed. Grabbing his hooded sweater from the end of the mattress, Lilly pulled it over her head, savouring the warmth and familiar smell that surrounded her. She crept out of the room, sending a brief smile at the nurse.

Pulling the sleeves down over her hands, Lilly padded down the corridor, her socks making no sound on the floor as she headed for the NICU. The neo-natal nurse covering the afternoon shift, Lucy, looked up with a smile as she tapped on the door.

Lucy beckoned her in, and the detective carefully wound her way through the plastic cots to Maddy.

"Just in time," the nurse said quietly, "she just woke up hungry."

Lilly smiled, stroking her daughter's soft head and ignoring the tubes coming and going from her daughter.

"Must have her father's stomach," she replied. Lucy chuckled.

"Go ahead," she encouraged gently, nodding to the cot. The blonde woman hastily did as she was told, her smile widening as Maddy was lifted out of her crib. The baby squawked in annoyance, causing a giggle to spill from her mother's lips.

"Yep, definitely Scotty's kid. He hates getting out of bed too." Lucy laughed.

"Where's Daddy now?" she asked, handing Lilly the bottle.

"Asleep in my room. He's shattered."

Lucy watched Maddy latch hungrily onto the bottle, her tiny hands grasping at the plastic. Lilly cradled her in the crook of her elbow, working around the tubes and wires, and gazing down at the person in her arms.

"So are you still mad at the world?" the nurse asked gently. The detective felt her smile fade, her eyes darkening.

"Yes."

They fell into an uncomfortable silence. Lucy watched as Maddy gazed up at her mother, incredibly alert for a baby no older than a day and a half.

"You know people are calling her Miracle Baby?" she said quietly. A smile spread across Lilly's face, and she glanced up quickly.

"Yeah?"

"AOP aside, she's healthier than most of the babies who arrive full term," Lucy said. Lilly's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Really?"

"I already spoke to Dr Klein, and we think Maddy will be strong enough to be moved up to your room tomorrow, if you want."

Lilly felt tears spring to her eyes, and smiled tremulously.

"I'd love that," she said, blushing at her sudden show of emotion, "but you'd have to keep monitoring her, wouldn't you?"

Lucy nodded.

"We'll wait and see what tomorrow brings. Her Apgar scores are good. We normally recommend at least two days between the last apneic event and discharge, but Maddy's looking good, Lil."

"What happens when we go home?"

"We'll show you and Scotty the basic Baby CPR, and set you up with a caffeine solution to mix in with her milk. We'll send you home with a monitor to keep an eye on her vitals, and she might need regular check-ups."

The blonde detective sighed heavily.

"I hate hospitals," she moaned. With a pop, Maddy detached her lips from the bottle, and Lilly raised her daughter over her shoulder, letting the baby rest her head on her shoulder. Lilly gently stroked Maddy's back, breathing in the smell of her hair. After a moment, Maddy burped softly, and turned her face into Lilly's neck. The detective smiled, kissing her baby's head and lowering her back into the plastic cot.

"He's worried about you, you know."

Hearing the soft reprimand, Lilly looked up in surprise, smoothing her fingers through her daughter's hair. Lucy stared back unashamedly.

"Who's worried about me?" the new mother asked slowly.

"Scotty."

"You moving in on my man, Lucy?"

The note of warning and severity hidden beneath layers of teasing wasn't lost on the nurse.

"He was in here earlier," Lucy replied evenly, "with an aunt maybe?"

"Right...and he just happened to tell you he's worried about me?"

"He didn't need to."

Lilly sat down, reaching into Maddy's cot to soothe her to sleep. She opened her mouth to say something, and then closed it abruptly. A frown creased her forehead, and after a moment of thought, opened her mouth again.

"Scotty...and I...we have a very...I love my partner. I love him so much he can't understand why the thought of losing him to the job terrifies me."

"That's why you won't marry him," Lucy stated. Lilly nodded, completely unsurprised that the nurse was that perceptive.

"He just...worries too much," she explained with a smile. It faded quickly, as she realized exactly how pathetic her reason (excuse) really was. _You won't marry him because he worries too much? Is that the best you could come up with?_

"So why don't you let him put a ring on your finger? Maybe reassure him a little bit?" Lucy suggested. Lilly hesitated, a red blush creeping across her cheeks.

"I...he...we're pretty much married already," she explained hurriedly. _Liar_, the scathing voice in her head replied. _Coward._ It seemed that Lucy had picked up on her doubt, because the detective saw her smirk.

Lucy leant forward slightly.

"Then why not make it official?" she said, before standing up and moving to the other side of the room. Lilly released the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. Lucy's question kept ringing in her ears- why _not _make it official?

How was she supposed to know that forever was possible? Possible with Scotty? He had always promised her forever, but now Maddy had given themsomething _bigger _to fight for. Those little hormone receptors in her brain were firing random impulses across her synapses, each of them wearing down her reluctance to get married. Lilly heard her breath hitch. If Scotty promised her forever, in front of their families, in front of Maddy, in front of God...then he would let her have it.

There was no certainty in forever, but Lilly knew right down in the heart of her heart- that warm fuzziness that told her Scotty was it. There was a soft tap at the door, and Lilly turned, her face splitting into a smile at the sight of Jeffries hovering in the doorway. She stood up, opening the door and letting him in.

"Hey," she said. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, shutting the door behind him and following her further into the room.

"How are you feeling, Lil?" he asked. She rolled her eyes.

"I'm fine."

"Good."

Lilly looked over his shoulder.

"Are you on your own?" she asked hopefully. Jeffries smiled sympathetically.

"Sorry, Lil. Miller, Manning and Vera caught a case. They promised to come and meet Maddy tomorrow."

"Oh," Lilly said in barely concealed disappointment, "no problem."

"Come on, Lil. You know I wouldn't turn up empty handed."

Jeffries withdrew something from his pocket, waving it tantalizingly in front of her. Her eyes lit up.

"Is that the case file?"

Chuckling at her predictability, he handed her the folder, watching as she hurriedly flipped it open. Lilly let her eyes scan the page, before she paused, and looked up at him.

"How **is** Manning?"

Jeffries nodded.

"Better. I think she's relieved that we know about Tyler."

"I just don't understand why she didn't tell us," Lilly said in confusion. He chuckled, eyeing her knowingly.

"You're just mad that she got something by you," he teased. She glared at him, but the overall effect was ruined by the laughter dancing in her eyes. Her eyes returned to the folder, and Jeffries was content to just watch the different emotions flicker through the deep blue depths.

"Do you remember what I asked you?" he asked suddenly, his voice dropping to a soft rumble.

"When?"

"When you first realized that Scotty was more than a pain in your ass."

Lilly felt her face soften into a small smile.

"I remember."

_Jeffries' face turned serious. Lilly felt her smile fade slightly._

"_What?" she asked cautiously._

"_Are you sure about this?" he asked. Lilly stood up to kiss him lightly on the cheek._

"_I'm sure."_

Lilly tugged on his elbow, pulling him towards Maddy.

"I'm still sure. More so than ever, if it makes you feel better," she said softly. Jeffries nodded, reaching in to the cot to touch the baby's hand.

"Good."

* * *

Long after Jeffries had gone, and for the second time that afternoon, there was a soft knocking on the nursery door. Seeing Scotty's parents hovering outside, Lilly beckoned them in. The NICU was fairly empty, with only two other babies and Maddy taking up the cots.

"I hope we're not interrupting?" Ben whispered. Lucy chuckled, shrugging and shaking her head.

"Not interrupting, no."

Maria looked to the other two cots, noting the absence of parents or visitors of any kind.

"The others..." she enquired softly, looking to Lilly. The blonde detective shrugged, a sadness creeping into her eyes as she glanced over to the other babies. Lucy moved to the nearest cot, taking the tiny hand in her own.

"This little guy we called Sam. His mother was a heroin addict. Gave birth to him, then realized she couldn't keep him. Left it to us to call Child Services."

Maria gasped, her hand flying to cover her mouth.

"How awful!" she exclaimed. Maddy began to fidget, wide awake and looking around, and Ben Valens glanced to Lilly.

"May I?"

"Go ahead," she said, smiling when her partner's father lifted the wriggling baby into his arms.

"_Hola, niño. Es su abuelo,"_ he murmured. Lilly let her fingers dance through Maddy's soft blonde hair. Maria looked over her husband's shoulder, then back up at Lilly.

"She looks just like you."

"Except her skin is not as pale, and her hair is a darker blonde than mine," Lilly pointed out, bending to kiss her daughter's forehead, "But she really is perfect."

Maddy blinked sleepily, her big blue eyes looking around at them all. She yawned, and as her tiny features scrunched up, her fist closed around her grandfather's shirt. He beamed, looking between his granddaughter, her mother, and Maria.

"She's beautiful, Lil," he murmured.

The detective grinned, shrugging. To anyone who knew Lilly like the back of their hand, and to anyone that was watching diligently, they would have noticed the almost imperceptible dimming of her smile at the wires and tubes, but the change was quickly rectified.

"We think so," she replied. Maria kissed Lilly's forehead, tears of pride and joy brewing at her eyelids.

"Just make sure you're looking after yourself too."

"I am. I could really use a bath."

"Talking of taking a bath, there's a bag full of stuff up in your room."

"What kind of stuff?" Lilly asked curiously. Maria chuckled.

"Food, your shower bag...Allie and Lena picked you out some clothes."

"We stopped by your place to grab the baby bag. Thank you, by the way, for having that all made up just in case."

"That wasn't me," Lilly said in amusement, "that was Scotty. I had nothing to do with it."

Ben raised his eyebrows.

"Who would have thought, _mujer_, that our son could be so organized?"

"He must get it from me," Maria sent back quickly. Lilly laughed.

"Scotty's not as useless as we like to think."

"No, I'm sure he's not. How are things...?"

Lilly shrugged.

"Between us? We're fine. Well...as fine as we can be, considering our daughter is up here, but I think we're OK."

"I'm glad. Now, tell us all about Maddy."

The detective's delighted smile was infectious.

"Well...I have a feeling she's going to be just like Scotty. Always driving me crazy, then smiling and making everything better..."

* * *

It was late, and the room was cast in a soft yellow glow. Scotty awoke to the feel of someone running their fingers through his hair. He slowly opened his eyes. Lilly sent him a small smile.

"Hey," she said quietly, her hand sliding down to the back of his neck. Scotty blinked, his eyes widening in realization.

"Shit! What's going on? Is it Maddy? Is she OK? I didn't..." Lilly covered his mouth with her own, her lips soft against his.

"It's OK. Maddy's fine."

She slid off the bed into his lap. Breathing a sigh of relief, the male detective wrapped his arms around her slim waist, burying his face in her shoulder.

"You look tired," he murmured. Lilly kissed his temple, before pulling back to study him carefully.

"So do you," she replied after a moment, standing up and pulling him onto the mattress. Scotty allowed her to rest her head on his chest, her arm thrown possessively over his stomach, and her legs tangled around his.

"Lil, what about...?"

"I don't think I want to be alone now," Lilly mumbled, sighing as her eyes began to close. Scotty kissed her cheek, smiling slightly.

"Good. I love you, Lilly."

"I love you, too. I'm just sorry I don't say it enough."

"It's OK. I think I know."

"I'm glad," she whispered drowsily, "because I never want to lose you."

Scotty slid down the bed until they were lying flat, and hugged her tightly against him.

"You won't."

* * *

I'll try and get the next chapter up as soon as possible, but please leave me a review just to tell me what you think! You know you want to...


	19. Had It All

A/N I'M SOOOORRRYYY! I really am- would it make you feel better if I told you that my baby moved for the first time today? Yes, I know some of you are like "What baby?" but THIS baby. My baby. Big grin. You know I hate making you wait so long, but next time I seriously won't take that long. If this chapter seems a bit rushed...well, it is. OK, thanks to PatryTrusky for her Spanish translations, and also thanks to everybody who's been reading and reviewing! :)

Disclaimer: Nope. Only the Doc and the nurse and Maddy are mine.

* * *

Lilly awoke to soft circles being traced on her back. She rolled over to face Scotty, her face splitting into a smile when he pressed a kiss to the end of her nose.

"Good mornin'," he said huskily. She tilted her head back to meet his lips with her own, and wrapped an arm over his stomach. After a moment, she pulled away, wrinkling her nose up.

"You smell bad," she mumbled. Scotty chuckled, and wrapped her in a tight bear hug.

"Oh, I do, do I?"

"No, Scotty, come on! You really stink!" Lilly protested with a laugh, her face pressed against his t-shirt. He squeezed her body to his, hearing her giggle and attempt to fight him off. When he finally moved back enough to allow her a little bit of room, Scotty found himself on his side, her lips firmly attached to his. His hands wandered down her spine.

Lilly shifted, until one of her legs was firmly sandwiched between his and her hand had drifted up to the back of his neck. She deepened the kiss, her tongue snaking out to worm its way between his lips.

"Mmm...I missed you," Scotty murmured. His partner nodded.

"I know. I'm sorry."

Scotty pulled her closer, hugging her tightly.

"It's OK," he replied. Lilly tucked her head underneath his chin.

"You really do smell bad."

"Gimme a goddamn break, Lil!" Scotty laughed. She grinned.

"Go home. Take a shower, change into some clean clothes. Get something to eat."

"Lil..."

"We'll be fine, Scotty. I promise," his partner reassured. Scotty sat up, pulling her with him and turning her to face him. Lilly felt her heart swell with love at the look on his face. She leant forward, and brushed her lips over his.

"I don't want to leave you," he whispered seriously. The blonde detective nudged him towards the door, her hands resting lightly on his waist.

"I know."

He barely made it two steps outside the room before he needed to feel her again. Dragging her towards him, Scotty groaned, pressing her up against the doorframe. His tongue shot out, easily parting her lips and massaging hers. Lilly's hands tangled around the front of his shirt, returning the kiss with just as much passion and pent-up want.

Scotty's hands wandered lower down her body, sliding along her thigh and then over her stomach. Lilly circled her arms around his neck.

"Scotty..." she breathed, "so good..."

Realizing that it wasn't fair to push her this far with no intention of following through, Scotty tore his lips away, catching her hands and holding them still.

"We gotta stop," he said, gently but firmly.

"Scotty!" she whined, opening an eye to glare at him.

"Six weeks, Lil. Six weeks, then if you're feelin' up to it..."

He let his sentence trail off teasingly, backing away down the corridor towards the exit. Lilly stared after him in disbelief.

"What are you doing?" she exclaimed incredulously. Scotty grinned, shrugging his shoulders.

"Goin' home to take a shower."

His partner scowled, and for a moment, was tempted to stick out her tongue. She settled for calling after him.

"Six weeks and then your ass is mine, Valens!"

* * *

She had never been so pleased to see a nurse before, because this time Lucy came bearing a tiny bundle of blankets. Lilly nearly snatched the wide-awake Maddy from the cradle, pressing a loving kiss to her forehead and breathing a sigh of relief.

"Mommy missed you," she whispered into her daughter's soft blonde hair.

Watching from the side, Lucy couldn't help but smile. She knew the detective (and all the other detectives that had been regular visitors) had been terrified about motherhood, but nobody could deny that Lilly had definitely got it down to a fine art.

"Hey, where's Scotty?"

Lilly glanced up from making faces at her baby girl, smiling.

"I sent him home. Three days with no shower isn't good."

Another nurse poked her head around the doorframe.

"Lilly, you're father phoned and left a message at reception," she said. Lilly turned, her chest tightening.

"My father?" she repeated slowly. How did Cooper know? Had someone called him? The nurse smiled, nodding encouragingly.

"Yes. Lt Stillman," she clarified. Lilly breathed a sigh of relief.

"Right," she said with a slight smile, "Lt. Stillman. Does he want me to call him back?"

"When you get a chance."

Reluctantly, Lilly placed Maddy back in the cot, moving to the nurse's station to use their phone. Stillman must have been waiting for her call, because he picked up on the first ring. A smile spread across her face at the concern in his voice.

"Lilly?"

"Hey, boss."

He breathed a sigh of relief.

"You're OK," he stated. Lilly laughed softly.

"We're both OK. What's up?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to check in."

_Liar, _Lilly thought. Stillman hesitated, and the blonde detective waited.

"I shouldn't be asking, but...has Scotty asked you yet?"

"Asked me what?" she replied in confusion. He was silent, and the cogs turning in his brain were almost audible.

"Never mind."

"Boss..."

"It's nothing, Lilly, I promise."

"Lilly!"

The detective turned, her eyes widening. _That sounded like...it couldn't be...could it?_

"Gotta go, boss," she said hurriedly, dropping the phone back onto its cradle.

"LILLY!"

She barely managed to retain her balance as a small hurricane hid behind her legs. An angry voice could be heard approaching.

"Emilio Valens, you get back here!"

The voice's body, a large woman with crazy black hair, arrived huffing and puffing in the door way. Seeing Lilly standing protectively in front of the boy, she stopped suddenly.

"Emilio, you can't just run off like that! Ma'am, I'm sorry if he disturbed you."

"It's OK..." Lilly replied slowly.

"We're on a field trip, you see, and Emilio wouldn't stop talking about visiting someone, and..." she stammered apologetically. Lilly smiled.

"It's OK. He was coming to see me."

"Mrs Colton, I TOLD you I had to see someone!" Emilio piped up. The blonde detective glanced over her shoulder.

"You're in big trouble, little man, so I'd just keep quiet if I were you," she said quietly. Emilio turned bright pink at the rebuke, and scuffed his shoes on the floor. He looked so much like Scotty and Mike, that Lilly had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing out loud.

"Mrs Colton?" she said, pushing the laughter down inside of her, "I'm very sorry for any trouble Emilio has caused. I'd be happy to call his mother, and look after him until she arrives."

The teacher frowned suspiciously.

"And you are?" she asked rudely. Lilly folded her arms, the picture of coolness and calm.

"Detective Rush."

"Detective?" Mrs Colton echoed in surprise. Emilio giggled, and Lilly once again hid a smile. She tried to keep her face straight.

"You don't have a problem with Emilio staying with me, do you?"

The note of warning in her voice didn't go unnoticed, and the teacher paled.

"N-n-no..." she stammered, visibly wilting under the detective's predatory stance, "no problem."

"OK then. Say goodbye, Em," Lilly said brightly. He appeared around her legs, waving cheekily at his teacher.

"Bye!"

With a hand on his shoulder, Lilly guided Emilio back to her room. Stopping beside Maddy, the young boy stared down at the baby with wide eyes.

"What's her name?" he asked, awestruck at the tiny person in the cot.

"Maddy."

"Why's she so small?" he whispered.

"She knew you liked being the biggest," Lilly replied with a smile. Emilio frowned, reaching out to touch the plastic cot.

"Why's she in that box, Lilly?"

"When she was born, her lungs weren't working properly," she said quietly. His eyes, so much like Scotty's, began to fill up with tears, and he looked up at her in fear.

"Is she gonna be OK?"

Lilly drew him into her side, rubbing her hand up and down his arm.

"She'll be fine, Em," she reassured. His face brightened almost immediately.

"Cool! I'm gonna show her how to play football and soccer and baseball..."

* * *

A pair of hands landed on her hips, and Lilly turned, catching his lips in a fierce kiss. Scotty returned the embrace with just as much passion, the pent up need and emotion bubbling over. When they finally broke apart, chests heaving and bodies yearning for more, the male detective stared at her incredulously.

"Hey," Lilly said breathlessly, letting her eyes close. A soft smile spread across his face, and he pressed his forehead to hers.

"Now is that just a 'How's it going?' hey, or is it a 'I'm having a hard time dealin' wit' everything' hey?"

"That's a...the second one," Lilly admitted, nestling further into him. Chuckling, Scotty led her into the room, and stopped suddenly.

"Why is my nephew watching cartoons on your bed?"

"Long story," Lilly laughed. Her partner ruffled the boy's hair.

"_¿Estás robándome la novia, Emilio?__"_

"_Chicas me ama," _his nephew replied with a grin. Scotty laughed, and he moved across to Maddy, his face softening as he gently touched her forehead.

"_Hola, mi querida hija. Te amo."_

Lilly watched with a soft smile, and he returned the grin over his shoulder. He took her in his arms, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. Scotty felt her deepen the kiss, and tightened his hold on her waist. Her fingers tangled in his t-shirt, and at Emilio's noise of disgust, she broke away to rest her cheek against his chest.

"Lilly?"

She turned her head.

"Yes, Em?"

"I think she's looking at me," he said slowly, the wonder in his voice drawing their attention back to him. Scotty chuckled, seeing Maddy's bright blue eyes fixed on his nephew.

"She is, Em. But you remember when your sister was born, right?"

Emilio scrunched up his nose, and watched as his uncle lifted the baby into his arms.

"Yeah," he said, "she cried a lot. I think I like Maddy more."

"Be nice to your sister," Lilly reprimanded gently, tugging her boyfriend onto the bed beside her. Scotty laughed.

"Yeah, Em. Be nice to your sister."

With a roll of his eyes, Emilio went back to watching cartoons, sitting contentedly at the end of the bed.

"The nurses thought Stillman was my father," Lilly said suddenly.

"He is, isn't he?" Scotty replied gently. She shook her head, curling into the shape of his body.

"In every way except biologically."

Scotty pressed a kiss to her hairline, shifting Maddy in his arms.

"But you're thinkin' about Cooper?" he asked. Lilly was silent for a moment.

"Do you think I was too quick to say I didn't want anything to do with him?"

"I think..." He hesitated, before taking a deep breath and carrying on. "I think it's your decision, an' I'll support you whatever you do, but it's your Dad, Lil. This is the guy who was there when you were born, who changed your diapers, fed you your bottle..."

"Gave me a bicycle and never taught me how to ride it?" Lilly interrupted. Scotty didn't know how to reply, so he didn't, and his partner immediately felt guilty for speaking so harshly. Before she could make it up to him, before Scotty could remind Lilly that she owed it to Maddy to call Cooper, there was a soft tap on the door.

"Hey," said a familiar voice from beside them. Lilly's eyes flicked up, and seeing Dr Klein standing there, felt them narrow menacingly.

"Lilly," the doctor began nervously.

"Don't talk to me."

"I'm so sorry. There was nothing to..."

"I said don't talk to me."

Scotty placed a restraining hand on his partner's shoulder, sensing that she was using all of her self-control not to lash out.

"You promised that nothing would go wrong, and then when it does, you're nowhere to be seen? I could have used your help!" she spat. The doctor was silent, and Scotty noticed that she suddenly looked close to tears. He swallowed painfully, running his hand down Lilly's arm.

"Lil, it ain't her fault. You can't blame her," he soothed. The detective leapt up, and Maddy jerked in surprise, her face screwing up in a cry.

"Well, it's easier than blaming myself!" Lilly snapped, her voice breaking. She stormed off and out into the hospital. Scotty ran a tired hand over his face, the other gently soothing his daughter's whimpers. Dr Klein cleared her throat.

"I, uh, came to ask if, uh, you wanted someone else to take over as attending." He shook his head.

"No way."

Klein frowned.

"No? But Lilly..."

"Is petrified. 'Bitch' is her default setting."

"Detective, I really think..."

"Dr Klein, listen. I appreciate what you're tryin' to do, but we all know this ain't your fault. Lil didn't mean what she said- like she told you, she's jus' lookin' for someone else to blame. An' if you ask me, she ain't gonna trust anyone else with Maddy, 'cept you," Scotty explained. The obstetrician absorbed his words, nodding slightly. Looking up at him, she watched as his eyes flicked to the corridor behind her. Klein felt her heart sink.

"So how's she doin'?" Scotty asked hurriedly, before his partner could get a word in.

Dr Klein took a deep breath, feeling Lilly move to stand beside her boyfriend. The detective's face was blank, her blue eyes dark. For the moment, it seemed she was calm. She slid her trembling hand into Scotty's, exhaling when he gave it a gentle squeeze.

The doctor folded her arms.

"It seems like Maddy's inherited your determination- she's definitely breathing on her own, no ventilator, no tubes. It's good news. There have only been a few reported cases of apnea curing itself in less than a week."

"But you said it would be when she was technically 40 weeks old?"

"It's rare, but it can happen earlier. As early as 34 weeks, actually."

"So when can we go home?" Scotty asked, praying that his partner's temper would stay under control. Klein glanced anxiously between them.

"Ideally, tomorrow. We need to monitor Maddy, just to make sure there are no relapses. But I'm confident."

"Fuck," Lilly said, in a mixture of relief, happiness and fear, and a whole load of pure exhaustion, fighting off tears as she swiped a hand across her face. Scotty pressed a kiss to her forehead, letting a tear trail down his cheek.

Dr Klein took a deep breath, before speaking matter-of-factly.

"As I said, I'm confident. Maddy's movements are strong, her feeding patterns are encouraging. We just have to make sure that will be no other problems. This is good news, guys," she said with a smile.

There was silence for a minute, until Lilly burst into tears and buried her face in Scotty's shoulder. Dr Klein gave the male detective a smile, and disappeared down the corridor. Eventually, her tears subsided, and Lilly looked up with a sniff.

"I shouldn't have yelled at her, should I?" she asked in a tiny voice. Scotty chuckled, resting his chin against her forehead.

"No. But I think she understands."

There were a few more moments of silence, before Lilly spoke again.

"I should go and apologize, shouldn't I?"

"Might be a good idea."

"I hate apologizing."

"Really?" Scotty said in mock incredulity, "Who'd have known?"

* * *

Twenty minutes later, and Dr Klein gasped in surprise as a cup of coffee appeared on the table in front of her. She looked up, blinking in trepidation as Lilly smoothly slid into the seat opposite her.

"Scotty said I could find you here," the detective said softly. The pediatrician cleared her throat.

"If you're planning to yell at me again, can we at least go somewhere more private?" Lilly smiled, shaking her head.

"I came to apologize."

They sat in silence for a moment.

"You know, when I was..." Lilly began eventually.

"Please don't," Dr Klein interrupted, "please don't share any family anecdotes. It'll just make me feel worse."

Lilly laughed in taken-aback astonishment, and nodded.

"Fine..." she said slowly, smiling at the blush creeping across the doctor's face.

"Look, there really was nothing I could have done, but maybe I could have handled it better."

"We both screwed up, OK? Let's just call it a truce."

For the first time, Klein broke into a broad grin.

"Truce. Anyway..."

"Don't even go there," Lilly said bluntly.

"Don't go where?"

"I know Lucy told you about our conversation. Don't even go there."

They continued talking, laughing, until the irritatingly high-pitched beep of a pager forced Dr Klein to leave. Lilly watched her go, thinking of all the things that day had thrown in her path. _This is definitely going to be one crazy ride._

She wasn't sure what changed her mind, but something did. Maybe it was Scotty. Maybe it was Stillman. Lilly didn't know. She picked up the phone a good hour later.

"Hello? Please may I speak to Paul Cooper...yes. It is a family matter..."

* * *

Chapter 20 will be up Saturday- at the latest, OK? That's four days. Anyway, please leave me a review on your way out! :D


	20. Breathe

A/N Return of the Nothing Chapters! YAY! So we have fluff, more fluff, funny stuff, LOLs, even more fluff...you get the point, right? And it's even up a day before I said it would be! YAY ME! I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Disclaimer: Despite remarkable similiarities, nothing I do really affects Lilly's personal life. We all know what would have happened by now if I DID have the power to make them...dance...

* * *

It was like a hunger creeping up inside her, that desperate need to finally get out of the hospital and away from the memory of the last week. Lilly stood at the window, looked down over the Philadelphia skyline.

On the horizon, the sun continued to sink lower in the sky, the shadows it casted reminding Lilly of the fairies she used to imagine. Manning touched Lilly lightly on the shoulder. The blonde detective turned, the ghost of a faint smile hovering around her lips.

"Hey," she said in surprise. The other detective nodded, glancing through the glass at the people down on the street below.

"I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to come sooner."

"It's OK. Jeffries told me that you had a case."

"Yeah...it was kinda crazy."

Lilly cleared her throat awkwardly.

"So...how's Tyler?" she asked cautiously. A loving smile appeared on Manning's normally serious face, and her eyes sparkled.

"He's fine. Practising for the end of semester pageant."

"Oh yeah? What's he doing?"

"Playing the viola."

The blonde detective eyed Ellie curiously.

"Your son plays the viola?" she questioned. Manning nodded.

"We wanted him to learn an instrument. Took him to a music store, he picked the viola," she said with a shrug, "Ty said he didn't want to get a violin because it's boring, and everybody plays the violin."

"Huh. A good point, I guess."

Manning laughed.

"Yeah. I just wanted him to have something that he was good at."

"And is he? Good at it, I mean."

"Oh yeah."

Her eyes skimmed over her colleague.

"You look good, Lil," she murmured. Lilly laughed quietly.

"Thanks. The doctor says Maddy will be fine, so I'm not as...anal," she admitted.

"Good word," Manning teased in mock awe.

"Shut up."

Manning grinned.

"Seriously."

"Shut up!"

The two women were silent for a while.

"So is this what it's like?" Lilly asked suddenly, her voice a mixture of curiosity and resignation. Manning frowned.

"Like what's like?"

"Parenthood."

The young detective chuckled.

"No. You just got dealt a crap opening hand," she reassured. Lilly looked at her uncertainly.

"So it gets better? I'm not going to spend my life worrying about her?"

Manning's chuckle turned into a knowing laugh.

"No, you'll worry about her every day. But I swear, Lil, when you watch her grow up, watch her learn. It doesn't get much better than that."

Lilly sat for a moment, taking in what her colleague had just explained. She looked up, smiling sheepishly.

"This is going to be hard, isn't it?"

* * *

It was time to go, and 5pm had never seemed better for either of the two detectives. Scotty cupped Maddy's head and neck in one hand, her hair soft beneath his fingers, and used the other hand to pull the onesie down over her head.

"Daddy loves you, little one. Daddy loves Mommy, too. To the moon and back."

Maddy stared at him, her eyes unwavering. Scotty gently pulled the soft fabric down, pausing to press a kiss just above her belly button. Chuckling, he fastened the poppers.

"Now there's my beautiful girl," he murmured, before lifting her up and covering her in kisses. A voice from the doorway cleared its throat. Scotty turned, grinning at the sight of his girlfriend standing in the doorway.

"An' there's my other beautiful girl."

"Flattery will not get you anywhere," Lilly said lightly, although the blush on her cheeks gave away her delight. Scotty wrapped a blanket around his daughter, feeling her curl into his chest.

"You get the forms signed?"

"Dotted my i's and crossed my t's."

"So you're ready to go?" he said, a wicked grin splitting his face.

"Definitely."

Scotty slid his free arm around her shoulders, placing a tender kiss to her temple. Lilly looked up at him, a relieved smile lighting up her face. The male detective grinned at the radiance and calm shining from his partner's face.

She took Maddy from his arms, the comforting weight immediately filling the hole in her heart. Lilly stroked the baby's cheek, a soft smile appearing around her lips. She placed a gentle kiss to the top of her daughter's head.

"Don't ever scare us like that again, OK?" she whispered. Maddy's snuffled breathing sent warmth spiralling through the detective's chest. Lilly continued to stroke her daughter's cheek, her blue eyes wide in amazement. Scotty ran a hand up and down her arm, perfectly content to just watch. Turning her head, she placed a hand to the side of his face, bringing his lips down to hers.

Their kiss was soft, and held so many unnamed emotions, Lilly was blown away at its intensity. As Scotty deepened the kiss, he realized it was much like the first time their lips ever met.

"Get a room!" came an infuriating voice from the doorway. The couple broke apart to stare at Vera in shock. Miller appeared beside the burly detective, glaring at him.

"Moron," she muttered. Lilly looked at them in wide-eyed astonishment

"What are you doing here?" she squeaked. Miller smirked.

"Heard there was a party going down," she replied nonchalantly. Jeffries and Stillman appeared behind Miller and Vera, smiling. Lilly frowned.

"Party?" she echoed. Stillman nodded.

"We had to give the newest member of our team a proper welcome, Rush," he said gently. Looking around at her 'family', the blonde detective felt tears appear in her eyes. Realizing that the surprise had rendered his girlfriend speechless, Scotty hugged her into his side.

"Let's get outta here."

* * *

They lived in a nice house, Lilly realized, as the three cars pulled up outside: Vera and Miller in one, Lilly and Maddy with Scotty, and then Jeffries and Stillman heading up the rear. She paused in the doorway, just breathing in the familiar smell of her home.

Scotty nudged her forward, his hand resting on her shoulders.

"Move your ass, Rush," he said gently. Maddy slept on, perfectly content to just rest in her mother's arms.

"Lilly, let Scotty hold Maddy," Stillman instructed. She narrowed her eyes.

"Why?"

"Just do it."

Lilly frowned, glancing between the remaining faces, all of whom were wearing matching grins.

"Fine," she conceded eventually. Scotty kissed her cheek.

"I promise it's alright," he whispered against her cheek. Gently handing him the baby, Lilly tensed as her boss took her hands, and felt Vera's (surprisingly soft) hands cover her eyes. She allowed Stillman to lead her forward, hearing stifled laughs from behind her.

"Valens, I better not find out you've done something..."

Vera removed his hands from her eyes. Lilly blinked, her jaw dropping.

"...stupid," she finished in a hushed voice. Her colleagues exchanged victorious glances. Stillman guided her into the centre of the room.

"You were so worried about Maddy, we just wanted to do something for _you, _Lil," Scotty said, appearing in the doorway.

Lilly felt tears appear in her eyes. They'd decorated the spare bedroom. The walls had been painted, pale green from the bottom up until a border which marked the start of white wallpaper. In the far corner stood the rocking cot that Stillman and the rest of the team had clubbed together for a small white table at its end.

To her right, the chest of drawers had been painted white, and didn't look out of place among the bags of diapers and soft green decorations. Lilly looked down at the white rug beneath her feet, and watched a single tear fall down to the ground.

Then Scotty was behind her, wrapping his arms- now without the baby- around her waist.

"Surprise," he whispered into her ear. Lilly turned in his arms, hugging him tightly and only letting a few more tears escape into his shirt. She felt his chest rumble with a barely suppressed chuckle, and she pinched his side.

"Don't laugh at me," she murmured.

"I'm sorry."

Lilly looked up then, kissing him quickly and then moving to Stillman.

"You did this," she stated. He shrugged.

"**We** did this," he replied as he opened his arms. The blonde detective stepped towards him, a smile spreading across her face. Stillman held her close, his arms loose around her, still afraid she might break after all these years.

"Thank you," she whispered. He chuckled softly.

"You're welcome, Lil."

"What? I don't get a hug?"

The blonde detective turned to stare at Vera incredulously, and with a smirk of amusement, stretched her arms out to hug him. He backed away, holding his hands out defensively.

"No way. I'm fine."

Lilly grinned.

"Then next time keep your mouth shut," she retorted. Miller laughed, elbowing the burly detective in his stomach.

"Serves you right, you big oaf."

"Big oaf?" he repeated doubtfully, questioning her insult. Kat glared at him.

"Shut your mouth, fatass."

Vera grinned.

"That's more like it."

"Can you guys stay for dinner?" Lilly asked eagerly. Miller winced, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry, Lil. I have to..."

"It's OK, Kat," the blonde detective interrupted with a grin, "You should go home to Veronica. You guys are staying, right?"

Vera and Jeffries nodded.

"Free food? Definitely."

"Who said I was going to feed you?" Lilly retorted. Vera covered his heart in mock hurt.

"You wound me, Rush."

* * *

Stillman had never seen four people argue so heatedly over what food to order, until then. Vera sat in the armchair, arms folded and a scowl on his face.

"I still don't see why we couldn't have got both," he grumbled. Lilly passed him a bowl of potato chips and the TV remote.

"Quit your whinging and put the game on."

As the doorbell rang, and the smell of Chinese takeout wafted through from outside, Maddy let out a tiny wail. Jeffries chuckled at the excited look on Vera's face.

"Oh, which baby to feed first?" he deadpanned, ducking as his friend threw a cushion at him. Lilly rolled her eyes, soothingly stroking her daughter's cheek.

"Boss, can you get the door?"

"No problem, Lil."

Scotty pressed a kiss to her cheek, removing his arm from its position around her shoulders and standing up.

"One bottle of the house best comin' right up."

Thanking the delivery guy and taking the white bag from him, Stillman shut the door. He moved back to the living room, setting the bag down on the coffee table. Scotty jumped out from the kitchen, the bottle held in his hand like a football.

"Nick, go long!"

The burly detective jogged across the room, hands out ready to receive the pass. As the bottle sailed into his hands, Lilly laughed, watching Vera pass it under his arm to Jeffries. Will made sure the cap was fastened, and hurled it back to Scotty.

"And it's Valens heading for a touchdown!" Vera exclaimed. The younger detective snatched it from the air, and sat down beside his partner.

"Score!" he cheered. With a grin, he handed her the bottle. Lilly bit her lip against her giggles, taking it from him and popping the cap off. Maddy opened her mouth for the rubber teat, eagerly taking it into her mouth and sucking like it was the first feed she'd been given.

"We need plates, Lil?" Vera asked, already unpacking the cartons of food. Lilly eyed him warily, before shaking her head.

"Just don't drop rice all over my floor," she warned. Jeffries chuckled.

"You want me to get you a bib?" he teased. Vera opened his mouth to form a biting reply, but his eyes flicked to Maddy, so he swallowed the swear word.

"Pass me the damn chopsticks."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, and Lilly raised her eyebrows at her colleague's inability to use chopsticks. Smirking, she slid a fork across the table. Vera glared at her, stabbing the fork into his carton.

"Who uses these anyway?" he grumbled.

Lilly glanced pointedly at the pair of wooden sticks in her hand. The male detective rolled his eyes. She laughed at the slight pout of his lips. Vera scowled, secretly pleased that he'd made her laugh.

"You're just as weird as your damn cats," he muttered. The blonde narrowed her eyes, throwing a fortune cookie at his head. Scotty cracked up with laughter at the look of total shock on Vera's face, and even Jeffries and Stillman couldn't help but laugh. Lilly glared at him.

"Insult my cats again."

* * *

Meh. It's OK, I guess, but I don't mind because I don't have to work until Wednesday! *big grin*


	21. When All Else Fails, Work

A/N So in this chapter, we start to get an idea of how Lilly is really feeling- now, I promised fluff, and there is fluff, but Lilly keeps letting me know that she's not in a very fluffy mood right now. But I'm working on it, I swear! ;)

On a more serious note, I just want to send my best thoughts and prayers to the families of those killed or injured in the DC Metro crash yesterday. I treated a lot of those injured in the accident, and I wish that they will all be OK.

Disclaimer: I did buy myself some lillies for the living room, and I did use a Cuban recipe for dinner the other night, and I did...sigh. No, they're not really mine.

* * *

"Hey, Will?" Miller asked, eyeing her computer screen, "what date is your PC showing?"

"The 7th. Why?" he asked in confusion. His colleague released a growl of frustration, reaching for her cup of coffee.

"Because Fatass changed my calendar again."

As Jeffries chuckled, Scotty stormed into the bullpen, followed by a very smug Lilly. Miller choked on her coffee, spitting it back into the mug.

"You should be at home!"

Hearing Kat's exclamation, Stillman appeared from his office.

"Rush! What the hell are you doing here?" he exclaimed, and if he wasn't so pissed off, Scotty would have laughed at the outrage in his voice. The blonde detective cradled Maddy against her shoulder, smiling in satisfaction.

"We were bored," she stated innocently, fiddling the hood of her sweater. The boss turned to his male detective, eyebrows raised questioningly. Scotty narrowed his eyes at Lilly, who poked her tongue at him.

"You ever tried arguin' with her?" he asked defensively. Stillman chuckled knowingly, reaching out to take the sleeping baby. Miller hugged Lilly, grinning.

"I hate you, Rush," she said, "did you actually put on any baby weight at all?"

Lilly laughed.

"You'll never find out," she replied. Scotty's jaw set stubbornly, and he glared at her. Her smile faded slightly. Vera ambled in, chomping on a donut.

"Mornin' Valens, Rush," he said, walking towards his desk. He stopped. The others exchanged amused glances. "Wait…" Vera turned around. "Lil?"

Miller punched his arm.

"You, fatass, stop changing the calendar on my computer!"

"Ow! Jesus, Kat!" he whined, rubbing the sore spot.

"Touch my stuff again and you'll be gettin' a lot worse than that," she warned. He grinned, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Lilly rolled her eyes.

"You're a pig," she muttered. Jeffries chuckled.

"Welcome back, Lil."

"She ain't back," Scotty interrupted sharply. His partner glanced up at him, a faint blush creeping across her cheeks.

"Can we not do this here, please?" she said quietly. Scotty narrowed his eyes, storming off into the break room. Manning, who had arrived just in time to see the door slam shut, raised her eyebrows.

"I really should get here earlier. Everything interesting always happens before I arrive."

* * *

It was really no surprise that the cold case squad got very little work done with a two week old baby in the room. Stepping out from his office, Stillman had to chuckle at the sight of Vera cradling Maddy in the crook of his elbow.

"She was cryin', OK? Gimme a goddamn break," the burly detective muttered. Jeffries shook his head, fighting back a grin.

"I think you're doin' a fine job, Nicky," he said in mock seriousness. Vera glared at him, gently rocking the baby from side to side. He glanced down, and a broad smile split his face.

"Hey, I think she's smilin'!" he exclaimed. As if appearing from know where, Miller appeared behind him, looking over his shoulder.

"Nope. It's just gas."

Stillman laughed at the disappointment on his detective's face.

"Don't you have work you should be doing?"

"You see anyone else busting their asses around here, boss?" Miller replied in amusement.

"I just don't see anyone else."

"Manning's taking a phone call..."

"Dean again?"

"They're fighting over whose weekend with Tyler it is, and Lilly's..."

"Right here."

Lilly glanced between the empty car seat, the break room (where Scotty still be seen glaring into a case file) and the finally to her colleagues, searching for her child. Seeing Maddy settled comfortably in Vera's arms, she couldn't help but laugh.

"That's a good look for you, Nick."

"Bite me, Rush."

She took Maddy from him, lifting the baby over her shoulder and rubbing circles on her back. Maddy burped, and Vera rolled his eyes.

"Why does she get to do that, an' I don't? Talk about double standards."

"She gets to do that because she's adorable," Miller retorted. Jeffries chuckled.

"And because Miller would kick your backside if you ever did that in public."

"Damn straight," she said proudly. Stillman cleared his throat.

"You're distracting my detectives, Rush."

"Sorry, boss."

"I actually needed you for something anyway," Stillman said, and handed her a file, "Arson suspect from '06 waiting in Interrogation. You want it?"

Lilly stared at him incredulously.

"Really?" He nodded.

"If you think you're up to it."

She took a deep breath, her cheek resting lightly on the top of Maddy's head.

"I'm up to it."

"Good. It's a fairly open-shut case, but a confession would be real nice, Lil."

"Got it."

Miller tried not to take Maddy too eagerly from the blonde detective.

"I'll look after Maddy for you, Lil," she said, barely hiding her excitement. Vera shook his head, sighing in defeat. There was just something about holding a tiny baby that made all women, including his normally tough-as-nails partner, turn into hopeless, brainless morons.

* * *

Morgan Everett was a fairly non-descript young man, looking all of his nineteen years. He glared at Lilly as she entered.

"Who the hell are you?" he demanded.

"You can call me Detective," she replied. He scoffed.

"You're not a detective."

Lilly shrugged carelessly.

"Let's see if you're still saying that when I'm done with you."

"Whatever," he muttered, folding his arms and slumping down in his seat. Lilly eyed him for a moment, listening to the rate of his breathing increase when the tense silence began to get to him.

"You don't have to say anything," she said eventually, "I know what happened."

"You don't know shit," Morgan replied sharply. The detective chuckled.

"Oh yeah?"

The defiant certainty in his eyes wavered.

"You've got nothing."

"OK, then let me lay it out for you. Frost House was your last chance. Rehab, or juvy. People were always giving you a hard time, making you life miserable. So that night you decided to show them what you really thought. You knew everybody else would be at the Gala. You got all dressed up in your second hand suit, and your dirty tie, then as soon as the lights dimmed, you hitched a ride back to Frost."

The color had drained from Morgan's face, and he shifted uncomfortably.

"You don't know that," he said, the false bravado in his voice almost comical. Lilly's face split into a smirk.

"CCTV footage has you walking out at 7:32pm."

"Fuck," he muttered. Lilly shrugged, looking down at the folder for a second, and then back up to her suspect.

"Oh, I'm just getting started. You went in, changed clothes and left the suit in the woods outside. Started the fire, stripped, then threw the clothes into the flames. Instant evidence disposal. You put the suit on again, caught a taxi cab back to the Gala before anyone even knew you were gone."

She paused.

"It was clever," she admitted, "but you screwed up, Morgan."

"Oh yeah? How?"

"You forgot that Mikey West had the flu. He and Nurse Atkins were holed up in the medical room. Couldn't go to the Gala because he was full of cold."

Morgan barely concealed a gasp. His mouth fell open, as if he was searching for something to say. Lilly nodded understandingly, sitting back in her chair.

"Yeah. You killed two people. You must be so proud."

"I didn't...there wasn't supposed to be...what? No. You're wrong."

"No," Lilly said sharply, "I'm not. It's all in the file, Morgan. Every last little bit."

A sizeable lump rose in his throat, and his eyes darted between Lilly, the file, and the floor.

"I want a lawyer."

* * *

Lilly closed the door on Morgan's barely concealed tears, watching the lawyer attempt damage control. Stillman handed her a mug of hot chocolate, nodding his approval.

"Good job, Lil."

"I guess. You think the lawyer will deal?"

"Probably. Now go take a break. Scotty's already hopping mad that I let you do that interview."

She looked around, noting her four colleagues working busily at their desks.

"Where's Maddy?"

"With Daddy. Last I knew he was changing her diaper and about to give her a bottle."

"Thanks, boss."

Lilly knew as soon as she stepped into the break room that maybe this time she had taken her workaholic outlook on life too far. Maddy was in her car seat on the table, fast asleep and smiling slightly. The blonde detective pressed a gentle kiss to the baby's forehead, before moving closer to her partner.

She gently touched his arm, her blue eyes wide and searching.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked softly. Scotty glanced at her briefly, before returning his gaze to the folder.

"Nope."

"Scotty..." she pleaded. Her partner sighed heavily, setting the file down and turning to face her.

"Blowin' off Maddy for some scumbag arsonist?"

"I didn't blow her off, Scotty. She was falling asleep, so I gave her to Miller. If I thought she needed me, I would have stayed. You **know** I would have stayed!"

"You shouldn't have done that interview."

"Why not?"

"I jus' think you should be takin' it easy. You ain't slept properly in days. I mean, last night you were in so deep you didn't even hear Maddy cryin'! An' she was right next to you!"

Lilly looked at him aghast, the color draining from her cheeks.

"She was crying? Why?"

"'Cause she was hungry, Lil."

"Oh," his partner replied in a tiny voice. Scotty shook his head.

"You ain't Superwoman, Lilly. Nobody's expectin' you to be here. In fact, I don't even know why you ARE here?"

"Because I like it here."

"Lil..."

Her reply almost broke his heart.

"Because I don't trust myself to be on my own with Maddy."

"Why didn't you say anythin'?" Scotty breathed, moving closer and lifting a hand to her cheek.

"'Our greatest weakness lies in giving up'," she whispered, shutting her eyes.

Scotty let his hands fall to the small of her back, and pulled her against him. At the unexpected jolt, Lilly's eyes flew open, looking up at him in surprise. She stared at him for a few moments. From the look of hesitation in her eyes, he knew she was deciding on something, most likely making up her mind and then thinking of a thousand things to persuade her otherwise. Eventually, Lilly managed to speak.

"Can I ask you something?"

Scotty's eyes darkened.

"It ain't good if you gotta ask if you can ask me," he said seriously. Lilly folded her arms, taking a few steps away from him.

"So is that a 'no'?" she asked tentatively. He sighed.

"Go ahead an' ask. Won't guarantee an answer..." His partner hesitated.

"Do you...regret, not having this...with Elissa?"

Scotty pulled away from her in surprise, a frown creasing his forehead.

"Have what wit' Elissa?"

"This," Lilly explained softly, gesturing between them, "the house, the baby..."

He moved his hands down her spine, and then back up, caressing each smooth ridge beneath his fingertips and committing their feel to memory. He took a deep breath.

"I...don't know, Lil. I can't answer that, 'cause I don't know what me an' Elissa woulda been like now..." Her eyes were fixed on his chest, and the male detective lifted her chin to look at her.

"But I do know that I wouldn't change anythin' for the world."

* * *

Scotty had worked hard and fast until all of his work was finished. Now he leant against the doorframe at the entrance to Stillman's office, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Jeffries peered over his shoulder, and chuckled. Lilly lay asleep on the sofa, with Maddy curled up on her chest. The baby slept peacefully on top of her mother, sucking on her fist.

"I'm proud of you, Valens," Jeffries said quietly, patting Scotty's back. The younger detective nodded.

"Thanks, man. I know...I know earlier, when I lost it over Lil bein' here, I sorta screwed up, but..."

"You have every right to screw up a couple of times, Scotty. Just don't make a habit of it, OK?" Jeffries warned in a soft voice. Scotty swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Can I ask you somethin'?" he asked. Jeffries once again patted him on the back, moving around in front of him.

"Anytime," he replied. The younger detective took a deep breath.

"When you wanted to...propose...to your wife..."

"I created a moment."

Scotty nodded slowly.

"Created a moment..." he echoed. Jeffries cleared his throat.

"I don't have much," he said awkwardly, "but..."

"Yeah," Scotty interrupted, hearing his colleague's voice trail off, "I know."

Pushing off the doorframe and crossing the room to his partner, Scotty grinned, and scooped his daughter up into his arms. Maddy stirred, her small fist clenching around his shirt. Scotty kissed her head, before passing the baby to Jeffries. The big detective held Maddy gently, his hand easily cupping her head. Scotty straightened, nodding in the direction of Lilly's desk.

"Her car seat is over there."

Jeffries nodded, carrying the baby into the bullpen. He groaned as Miller squealed, and Scotty chuckled as he heard his daughter being passed over. He sat down on the edge of the sofa, bending his head to kiss Lilly's forehead. She stirred, and feeling that the weight had been lifted from her chest, she sat up suddenly.

"Maddy!" she exclaimed breathlessly. Scotty placed a reassuring hand on her waist, kissing her gently. Breaking away, he smoothed his thumb over her cheek.

"She's with Miller. She's fine."

The blonde detective breathed a shaky sigh of relief. She sat up, allowing Scotty more room on the sofa. Lilly rested her head on his shoulder.

"What's up?"

"I'm done, Lil. We can go home."

"Have I told you how much I love you?" she asked softly, rubbing her eyes. He chuckled, and the pair fell into a thoughtful silence.

"We made a person, Rush," Scotty said in a whisper. Lilly met his astonished eyes.

"I know. Believe it or not I was actually there," she replied teasingly. He kissed her temple, running his hand up her arm. Lilly sighed contentedly, and as she tucked her head under his chin, wrapped her fingers around his.

"I'm glad you didn't give up on me," she whispered. Scotty nodded, smiling softly.

"No-one else I'd rather fight for, Lil."

* * *

It was later, when they were back in the safety of their own home, that Lilly remembered something Miller had said. Scotty looked up as she appeared beside him.

"Am I too skinny?" she asked.

"Nope."

"You didn't even think about it!"

"Didn't need to," Scotty replied easily, "you're perfect."

Lilly realized that she was being silly and childish.

"I'm sorry. It's just...I was looking in the mirror, and you can't even tell I've been pregnant, Scotty! The mirror just shows some skinny white girl who still has the figure of a thirteen year old."

He gave her a sparing glance over the top of his magazine.

"We need a new mirror," he stated, returning his eyes to the page. She frowned.

"Why?"

"Because the one we have is lyin' to ya, Lil."

* * *

That last scene really didn't seem so random when I wrote it...but maybe I'll just have to insert a random scene every so often? Weird. Anyway, thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing! If you could keep it going, because there ARE only five chapters left, that would totally make my day! :D


	22. The Way It Is

A/N I bet you're all wondering why I'm updating so soon, right? ;) Yeah, ya are! Anyway, I decided that since this chapter was done, it could be posted. There's a but- this next week is going to be REALLY busy for me, and I have no idea how to write Chapter 23 (I think I'm putting off The End), so I figured that I might need a little bit of extra time. Now, in this chapter we have fluff, BabyFluff, little bit of angst, and a person who just won't let an idea go! :) Oh, don't give me that look. You love me.

PS. I expect you all to appreciate the mental picture I paint near the beginning. Drool.

Disclaimer: sighs heavily. What do you want me to say? Will it make you happy if I say 'yes'? Because if it will, then YES. Yes, I do own the Season 1 DVD Boxset of Criminal Minds. Not Cold Case, though. Oh...was that what we were talking about? My bad.

* * *

Lilly awoke to the sound of Maddy's muffled cries and Scotty's whispers. She rolled over, frowning as her hand landed in the empty space.

"Maddy..." she mumbled sleepily. Scotty bent down to kiss her cheek.

"I've got her. Go back to sleep."

Half an hour later, when the clock showed 2:47, Lilly had failed in her attempt to go back to sleep. Swinging her legs out of bed, she reached for Scotty's shirt, slipping it over her vest and boxer shorts (**his** boxer shorts actually, but who was really that possessive?) and creeping towards the door. Soft snuffled breathing gave away their position, and Lilly rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she headed in their direction. As she stepped into the living room, she had to stop suddenly, her breath catching in her throat.

Scotty stood by the window, moonlight reflecting off his bare chest. Maddy was cradled against him, her head resting just over his heart. Her face was turned towards Lilly, and the blonde detective could see the peaceful expression as she slept on.

She had always known Scotty was attractive, and grew more so every time she saw him, but seeing him standing shirtless made Lilly fall in love with him all over again. Hearing her sharp intake of breath, the male detective turned, a tired smile spreading from his lips.

"Hey," Lilly whispered.

"Thought I told you to go back to sleep?" Scotty teased gently. Lilly moved around behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her chin into his shoulder.

"I can't sleep if you're not there."

"I know."

She raised herself up on tiptoes to look down at Maddy.

"She's pretty out of it," she murmured, dusting a hand over the baby's head. Scotty nodded, and carefully passed Maddy over.

"Think we can get some sleep?"

Lilly laughed softly, cradling her baby girl in her arms as she began to walk back to the bedroom.

"No chance."

* * *

As well as her mother's blue eyes and blonde hair, Maddy seemed to have inherited her father's stubbornness and need to do the opposite of what was expected.

So she slept through until seven.

7:07, to be exact, giving Lilly plenty of time to shower and prepare the bottles of breast milk. Now it was Scotty's turn to get ready for the day, and the blonde detective couldn't help but feel slightly lonely. Her partner must have known what she was feeling, because he appeared in the kitchen doorway, a small bundle of blankets held in his arms.

"Look who finally decided to join us," he said with a grin.

"You didn't have to rush," Lilly teased, taking Maddy from him. Scotty kissed her cheek, chuckling.

"Funny."

"Why thank you," she replied, smirking up at him, "What time are your parents expecting us?"

"Whenever we're ready."

"Hey, there's a bottle in the microwave. Warm it up for me?"

"You last slave die of exhaustion or somethin'?" Scotty joked, already pressing the Quik-Start button. Lilly rolled her eyes, and glanced pointedly at the baby lying contentedly in her arms.

"I'm kinda weighed down."

Her boyfriend laughed, shaking his head at the mischievous glint in her eye.

"Yeah, right."

* * *

Lilly fought back an uncharacteristically feminine giggle. Who would have thought six years ago that she would have been sitting in her partner's parent's kitchen, coloring with his four year old niece? Her free arm rocked Maddy to and fro, and the baby's eyes began to droop.

"Lilly, you're not doing it properly! You're not s'posed to crayon outside the lines!"

"I'm sorry," the blonde detective said seriously, focusing her attention on the coloring page in front of her. Maria Valens chuckled, glancing up from the chopping board.

"_Princesa_, go find Bear, OK?"

"_Si, abuela," _the little girl chirped. Lilly sighed.

"My daughter will be speaking Spanish by the time she's two, won't she?"

"Like that's a bad thing."

A few moments later, Lilly looked up to find Maria staring at her intensely.

"What?" she asked concernedly. The older woman shook her head.

"I was just thinking."

"About?"

"About what you'd look like in a wedding dress," Maria replied. Lilly sighed in exasperation.

"Not you as well..."

Almost bouncing into the kitchen, Elena stopped at the look on the detective's face.

"Mom," she whined, "you started on her already? I thought we were going to do it together."

"Oh God..." Lilly murmured, sitting Maddy up on her knee and gently rubbing her back. Elena sat down opposite her.

"So why won't you marry my brother?"

Lilly lifted Maddy over her shoulder, sighing.

"I never said I wouldn't marry him. I just...I want to walk down the aisle, rather than be pushed."

"So if he asked, would you say yes?" Maria asked. Lilly looked away.

"I don't know..."

"Liar," Elena interrupted, "you do know. You'd say no. You just don't want to admit it."

"Lena," her mother admonished, although with less conviction than Lilly thought was needed.

"OK, fine," the blonde detective snapped in frustration, "yes, I have some stuff to work through first. Yes, I have doubts but with the biggest yes I've ever given anything, yes, I do eventually want to marry Scotty."

Maria and Lena both blinked in surprise at her outburst. A blush crept into Lilly's cheeks, her chest rapidly rising and falling.

"Well..." Scotty's mother said after a moment, "I'm glad we had that discussion."

Another person, leaning against the wall outside the kitchen, was also glad that particular conversation had taken place. Scotty let out the breath he had been holding, resting his head back against the plaster. _The biggest yes she's ever given anything..._

A grin spread from his lips, radiating out and lighting up his face. _Good to know._

* * *

Dinner had been fairly uneventful, with Lilly carefully steering the conversation away from anything remotely related to marriage. From the corner of his eye, Scotty watched her, but kept his mouth shut. Now, as the plates were cleared and the children scampered off to play, he remembered the phone call he had made just before the meal.

"_Stillman."_

"_Boss, it's Scotty."_

"_What's up? How's the baby?" Stillman asked in concern. Scotty chuckled._

"_She's fine, boss. I need a favor."_

_On the other end of the line, the lieutenant sat back in his chair, smirking slightly at the sudden awkwardness in his detective's voice._

"_What do you need, Scotty?"_

"_Remember that thing I gave you?"_

"_The..."_

"_Yeah. That."_

_Stillman chuckled._

"_What about it?"_

"_I need you to lose it."_

"_Lose it?"_

"_Hide it," Scotty clarified, "keep it safe for me."_

_The older man smiled to himself._

"_Until when, Scotty?"_

"_You'll just know, boss. I promise."_

Moving in the opposite direction to her partner, Lilly headed into the kitchen, setting Maddy down in the rocker in the corner. Maria glanced up from the sink, a slight smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She listened to the blonde detective take a deep breath, and fought to keep her chuckle contained.

"I'm sorry I snapped earlier," Lilly said after a moment. Maria set down the washcloth, turning to look at her.

"And I'm sorry for going too far. I suppose that's one thing my son and I have in common."

"You have more in common than that," Lilly replied with a small smile.

"How so?" Scotty's mother asked, failing to keep the curiosity out of her voice.

"You both have trouble letting things go. If you see something that needs fixing, you'll fix it."

The older woman studied the detective carefully.

"Like you," she stated. Lilly blushed, tearing her eyes away.

"Yes," she said evenly, "like me."

For a few moments, a tense silence stretched between them, each woman finding their footing, until Maria cleared her throat.

"Let me ask you one more thing."

"And then you'll drop it?"

"Yes. If you answer me truthfully."

Lilly nodded uncertainly.

"OK..."

"Do you love my son?" Maria asked bluntly. Lilly's eyes widened in shock.

"What?"

The older woman shrugged.

"Do you love my son?" she repeated, watching the detective struggle for the right words to convey her outrage.

"Of course. You think I'd be sitting here if I didn't? Scotty and Maddy are the **best **things in my life! Do I want to get married? Not completely. Yes, I am terrified of making that commitment. If things don't work out between us, not only will I lose him, but I will lose my home, possibly my daughter, my job, my friends. And then what will I have left?"

Her eyes filled with tears, her cheeks red with anger and pent up emotion.

"Scotty's everything to me, and I am **fed up **of people trying to push me down the aisle before I'm ready! I **never **said I wouldn't marry him. I might not want to do it **right now**, but now we have Maddy, I have to get this right! I have to prove I can do it and not screw it up!" Lilly said, her voice somewhere between anger and tears.

Maria Valens placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Lilly. I just..."

From her bouncy chair, Maddy began to stir, clenching her fists. Mike appeared in the doorway, and noticing the tears in Lilly's eyes, he frowned in concern.

"What's up?"

The detective shook her head.

"It's noth..." she began. Scotty walked into the kitchen, immediately noticing the all too familiar deer-caught-in-the-headlights expression on his partner's face.

"Lil, what's...?"

Maria stepped forward, hands held out calmingly.

"_De nada, mijito."_

"What did you say to her, Mom?" Scotty demanded angrily.

"Nothing."

Mike arched an eyebrow in disbelief. Lilly fought back a fresh wave of tears, pressing the heel of her hand to her forehead.

"Nothin'? Come on, Ma."

"Lil, you gotta..."

"Leave her..."

With everyone talking at her, Lilly suddenly wanted nothing more than to curl up in the corner and sleep. She disappeared onto the porch, the door slamming behind her. Recovering from the sudden interruption, they all began talking again.

"Mike, look what you..."

"No, Ma, leave..."

"Scotty, mijito, go and..."

"What's up with...?"

"ENOUGH!" Ben Valens shouted from the doorway. All eyes turned to him, plunging the room into silence. He ran a hand through his hair.

"Way things are goin', think I might go an' join her," he said pointedly. Maria set her mouth in a stubborn line, folding her arms over her chest.

"Don't look at me like that, Ben."

"I'm not looking at you like anything, my dear. Was that a guilty conscience I heard?"

A soft noise reached their ears. Maddy screwed up her tiny face, emitting another half-hearted cry. Scotty carefully lifted her out of the cradle, and her crying stopped immediately. He smiled slightly.

"Another Rush that doesn't like bein' alone," he said softly. Maria placed a soft kiss to the top of the baby's head, running her fingers through the fluffy hair. Maddy whimpered softly, turning her head into Scotty's t-shirt.

Ben Valens chuckled, nudging his son towards the porch door.

"Sorry, son, but I think there's only one person that can help Lilly. And it ain't you."

Scotty chuckled, cradling his daughter close against his body. He reached for the bottle and headed out onto the dark porch. Lilly was sitting on the steps at the far end, and the male detective grinned at the familiar curves of her body. Pregnancy had definitely worked for her. _If only Lil realized that._

"Mama, mama! Papa won't feed me!" he said in a squeaky voice. Her body was turned away from him, but Scotty saw a tiny smile tug at the corner of her lips.

"If our daughter ends up sounding like that, I'm blaming you," Lilly replied quietly. He chuckled, moving to sit on the steps beside her. Turning slightly, the blonde detective held her arms out, reaching for the baby.

"Hey," she whispered, smiling as Maddy opened her eyes.

For a moment, two sets of identical blue orbs studied each other curiously. Maddy kicked her legs, clenching her tiny fists. She frowned, and looked so much like her mother, Scotty had to laugh.

"Come here," he said quietly. Lilly shuffled along the step until she was pressed against his side, her head resting on his shoulder. Scotty wrapped an arm around her, hugging her closer.

"I'm sorry my mom gave you a hard time."

"It's OK," Lilly replied, "she just wants to make sure you won't get hurt."

"She made you cry, Lil. I think there's a point where helpin' ain't helpin' no more," he said, kissing her temple. Lilly leant into him.

"Did she tell you what she said?"

"Nope. Pleadin' the fifth."

"Huh. Smart lady," she said with a slight laugh. Scotty gently tickled her side, feeling her squirm beneath his fingertips.

"You gonna tell me?"

She turned her head to smirk up at him.

"Nope. Some things are best left unspoken."

"What? Like this?" he replied, tilting her chin towards him. His lips landed on hers, soft and passionate, and Lilly moved a hand up his chest. Scotty let his own hand dance down to the hem of her t-shirt, groaning at the ridiculously soft skin under his fingers. She shifted even closer, as close as she could get without squishing Maddy between them.

Tugging him towards her, Lilly deepened the kiss until their lungs cried out for air. Her partner rested a hand on her knee, creeping higher up her leg.

"Scotty? Lil? You still out there?"

Lilly reluctantly pulled away, her lips lingering over his. There was a tap on the back door.

"I hate to interrupt whatever nookie time is going on out here, but all this food needs to be eaten," Ben Valens called. Scotty groaned.

"Nookie time?" his partner questioned in amusement.

"Dad, you couldn't have waited ten minutes?" the male detective said. Lilly raised an eyebrow.

"Ten minutes?"

His father appeared on the porch.

"It's getting cold. You two coming in?" he questioned with a grin. Lilly stood up, dusting off the back of her jeans.

"Can you take Maddy in? Give us five minutes to finish talking."

Ben nodded, taking the sleeping baby from her arms.

"Come here, beautiful girl."

"She might need burping!" Lilly called after them. Scotty chuckled.

"So what do we need to talk about?"

She sat down in his lap, straddling his legs and wrapping her hands around the back of his neck. She smirked, and in the instant before their lips met, Scotty felt her laugh.

"The definition of 'nookie time', and how long it's supposed to take."

* * *

Just before all you're imaginations run away, don't forget Six Weeks. If you have no idea what that means, see the previous chapters. Anyway, please hit that button on the way out! :)


	23. Wild Horses

A/N Well...this is my final chapter as an unmarried woman! OMG. Now, I'm sorry it's short, but I really wanted to get it posted before Saturday. It picks up after the party from Chapter 22, and then the next morning at work. Uh, another thing, I probably won't be able to post until July 15th- that's two weeks from today. I hope that won't be too much of a problem? Feel free to harass me on my honeymoon...joking, people... Also, there are only three chapters left. Prepare yourselves.

Disclaimer: Unless I've received them as a wedding present, I don't own Cold Case. Nor do I own the song at the beginning, which is 'Wild Horses' by Natasha Bedingfield.

**

* * *

**

I feel these four walls closing in  
Face up against the glass  
I'm looking out, hmmm  
Is this my life I'm wondering  
It happened so fast  
How do I turn this thing around  
Is this the bed I chose to make  
There's greener pastures I'm thinking about  
Wide open spaces far away

He'd just finished putting his clothes away, and hanging his suit up, and checking on Maddy, and feeding the cats, when it first reached his ears. Scotty blinked in surprise at the soft sobs coming from the bathroom. He slowly pushed the door open, his heart sinking. Lilly was sitting with her back to the bathtub, her knees hugged to her chest and tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Baby, what's wrong?" he asked immediately, sinking to his knees beside her.

"I want to be pregnant again!"

Breathing a sigh of relief, Scotty sat down, pulling her into his lap. Lilly curled into him, tears dripping onto his chest.

"It's OK," he soothed, rubbing a hand over her back, "it's OK."

"I want to be fat again, Scotty! I want people to know I'm a mom," she sobbed. He tucked her head under his chin.

"First off, you were never fat, Lil. Second, anyone who looks at you knows you're a mom. And last off, you hated bein' pregnant."

She punched his chest, letting out another choked sob.

"No, I didn't!" she cried, more tears escaping. Scotty held her tighter.

"Listen to me. I know this is hard," he said quietly, and Lilly did nothing but cry harder at the gentle tone of his voice, "hey, I know. Ssh."

Eventually, Lilly's tears subsided, fading to nothing more than a sniffle. Scotty shifted, before standing up with his partner held securely in his arms. Lilly dropped her legs to the ground, sinking against him and wrapping her arms around his waist. He gently nudged her backwards, and when the back of her knees hit the toilet seat, pushed her down onto it.

As Lilly wiped her sleeve over her eyes, Scotty crouched down in front of her. Lifting a hand to her cheek, he smoothed his thumb over the slight dusting of freckled just beneath her cheekbone, his eyes searching hers.

"Take as long as you need, an' then when you're ready, we'll talk," he said quietly, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. He stood up to leave, but Lilly caught his hand.

"Where are you going?" she asked in a tiny voice, already regretting letting him see her meltdown.

"I'll be out here with a glass o' water. When you're ready, OK?"

Ten minutes later, Lilly found him waiting on the sofa, a glass of water on the coffee table as promised. She sat down beside him, folding her legs up beneath her.

"I should have told you I was finding it difficult."

Scotty turned to look at her, unwaveringly holding her gaze. He was pleased to note that some of the turmoil had disappeared from her eyes, leaving them clear blue and shining. Maybe all she needed to do was let it out.

"Yeah, you should have," he replied eventually. She blushed, trailing a thoughtful finger along his brow.

"I guess I thought that if I threw myself back into the job, I wouldn't get so worked up about Maddy."

"That's why you did that interview."

Lilly looked away, her hand sliding down to his shoulder,

"I feel like I've failed," she said in a low voice. Scotty raised her head, and holding her gaze for a moment, nuzzled her nose with his own. He kissed her gently, pouring all his love into the single point where their lips met. Lilly barely heard his whisper, too caught up in his mouth on hers.

"Never think that."

* * *

Jeffries frowned at the two detectives as they walked in together. Frowning, he looked towards the clock. _Before 8:30...that's pretty good... _His eyes flicked downwards, and with a smile, noted the identical cups of coffee held in their hands.

"You two arrive together?" he asked casually.

Miller glared at him, and the look on Vera's face could only be described as hatred in that second.

"We met at the coffee place," he growled menacingly. Jeffries nodded in mock understanding.

"Right..."

"Do we have a case?" Miller interrupted. Jeffries smirked, standing up.

"Boss has got me and Nick chasing up a lead in Fishtown."

"But I just got here," Vera grumbled, glaring at Scotty as he walked in. Catching his colleague's dirty look, the younger detective raised an eyebrow.

"What's his problem?" he asked as the two other men left the same way they had come. Miller shook her head, the light in her eyes as she watched Vera leave more telling than any word that could fall from her mouth.

"Who knows."

Manning hid a smile, filing away Miller's satisfied smirk for later analysis.

"Where's Lil?" she asked curiously.

"She ain't comin' in today," Scotty replied with a slight smile. Miller arched an eyebrow in surprise.

"Really?"

"She's havin' some quality time with Maddy."

"What did you blackmail her with?" Manning asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Nothin'!" Scotty protested defensively. Miller slapped the back of his head.

"Liar. You told Lil that she could either stay home with Maddy or you'd make your mom go over there."

Manning gasped, outraged.

"SCOTTY!" she exclaimed. He held his hands up in defeat.

"I can't take it when the two o' you gang up on me."

"Get used to it."

"Wait..." he said thoughtfully, "Kat, how'd you know that?"

Miller smirked, but her reply was drowned out by the ringing of her cell phone.

"Luck is definitely on your side," Manning laughed, waving her female colleague off so that she could take the call in private. Scotty either didn't hear her or was simply ignoring her, but when she glanced across at him, Manning could almost see the thoughts flying around in his head.

Seeing his eyes darken, she reached out to touch his shoulder.

"Hey," she said. Scotty jumped slightly, looking up at her with a sheepish smile.

"Sorry."

"You didn't have a fight with her, did you?" she asked quietly. Scotty shook his head.

"No. I promise that they were still sleepin' when I left."

"Good," Manning said with a sigh of relief, "it's always easier when you're getting along."

* * *

Scotty set down his lunch- half a Rueben and a packet of potato chips- and felt for the photo in his pocket, crumpled and worn from so much use, before standing it upright on his desk. Lilly smiled back at him, Maddy asleep in her arms. A matching smile spread from his own lips, at which point Scotty realized that even Lilly-on-paper had the power to reduce him to a simpering mess of goo.

"Cute picture."

The male detective turned. Manning flashed a rare grin, pointing to the photo on his desk.

"You're just the typical family man, aren't you?" she teased. Scotty chuckled.

"You gonna hold it against me?" he retorted.

"Why would I do that, Valens?"

"Oh, I don't know. Jealousy?"

Her smile faded, and he instantly regretted not having thought his words through.

"Ellie, I'm sorry..." he said seriously. She shook her head.

"No, it's OK. You didn't mean it."

Suddenly uncomfortable with the awkward silence, Manning passed him a file.

"About to sucker a confession out of James Malone. You want in?"

Scotty flipped open the folder, standing up and starting to move in her direction.

"This the guy killed the kiddie-fiddler back in '84?" he said, his jaw clenching angrily. Manning's face screwed up in disgust.

"Don't say it like that. It's bad enough as it is."

* * *

It didn't take much to make James Malone confess to the murder of Frank Wills.

"I got one more question," Scotty said suddenly, shutting the folder. Manning tensed, her hand lingering on the door knob.

"You're going to ask me why," Malone replied knowingly, "why I would risk losing it all just to kill him."

Scotty shook his head.

"Nah, I get why you did it. My brother..." He trailed off, aware that Ellie was still listening, "I jus' wanna know if it was worth it."

"The things he did to my son...you tell me, detective. Was it worth it?"

"I can't say," Scotty answered honestly, shrugging, "I've never had to risk everythin' before."

_That's bullshit, Scotty, and you know it,_ Manning thought.

"You married?" Malone asked. Scotty paused, before nodding his head.

"Yeah. Jus' over a year."

On the other side of the mirrored glass, Vera chuckled incredulously. They all knew the rules- if you're going to lie, stay as honest as possible, but this? The burly detective shook his head.

"Aw, man!" he said, "Valens is SO lucky Lil ain't around to hear him say that."

Malone spoke again.

"Kids?"

"One," Scotty replied with a smile, "a girl."

The other man frowned curiously.

"You're not wearing a wedding ring."

"We don't wear them at work," Scotty replied easily, and if she hadn't already known better, Manning would have been hard pressed to know he was lying.

"Why?"

"Doer sees my ring, he knows there's a way to make me hurt. Could use my wife and child to get to me. It ain't worth the risk."

For a long moment, the room was silent. Eventually, clasping his hands together and resting them on the table, Malone took a deep breath.

"I think I'm ready to talk to my lawyer now," he stated. Scotty nodded in understanding, and Manning opened the door. They stepped outside in silence, each trying to decide whether this was one case where justice maybe wasn't so great. Scotty closed it behind him, sighing heavily. Manning stared at him curiously.

"You've given a lot of thought to that idea," she said softly. Her colleague frowned.

"What idea?"

"Showing the doers that you have something to lose."

Scotty nodded.

"It's somethin' worth thinkin' about."

She gently pinched his shoulder, smiling mischievously.

"If I didn't think Lil would kick my ass, I might be crushing on you right now, Valens."

* * *

She's joking, people. Joking. Trust me when I say I have absolutely no intention of going anywhere near that with a ten-foot barge pole. But I like their dynamic. I want Manning to be an actual character next season. Please review! And see you on the 15th!

* * *


	24. Snapshot

A/N I'M BAAAACK! And married. And totally relaxed, totally brown and totally not looking forward to going back to work. Meh. OK, so you have a nice fluffy chapter to ease you back into stuff. And also to cushion the blow when I tell you there are only two chapters left after this one...

Disclaimer: As previously mentioned, I don't own Cold Case. I do own a new toaster (wedding gift), a smoothie maker (another wedding gift), a nice tan (honeymoon gift), and a calendar full of men in uniform- bachelorette party gift.

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS RATED P/Q (HALF WAY BETWEEN M AND T)! BUT DEFINITELY LEANING MORE TOWARDS THE 'M'! READ AT YOU OWN RISK!**

* * *

Scotty shut the door, wincing when he saw the clock showing 9:23pm.

"Lil, I'm sorry!" he called, "I didn't get..."

A hand clamped over his mouth.

"I've just got her to sleep again," Lilly whispered, before replacing her hand with her lips. Scotty slid his jacket off, dropping it to the floor and then letting his hands fall to her hips. Lilly fiddled with the buttons of his shirt.

When they finally broke away, clothes dishevelled and hair a mess, she smiled up at him.

"Hi," she said. Scotty grinned, kicking off his shoes.

"Hi."

She wrapped her fingers around the front of his shirt, resting her forehead against his chin.

"I'm so sorry for the way I've been acting the last couple of weeks. I didn't mean to upset you," she went on, the delivery of her words getting faster and faster, "but I did it, Scotty, I looked after Maddy for a whole day, and I know I shouldn't be so proud of that because that's what I'm supposed to do, I'm her mother, but I didn't know if I could and I did. I took her for her two week check up at the hospital, and I fed her when she was hungry, and I gave her a bath, which she hated by the way, and we had sleepy time, and..."

It seemed like Lilly had finally run out of steam, and Scotty seized the chance to press a finger to her lips. She rolled her eyes.

"Real mature, Scotty," she managed to get out. He chuckled, finally releasing her lips.

"I love you," he said.

"Mmmm..." she murmured, closing her eyes and savouring his warmth around her, "I love you too."

They stood in each other's arms for a long while, and when Scotty began to rub his hands up and down her back, Lilly bit back a groan.

"You'll make me fall asleep," she protested. Her partner chuckled, taking her hand.

"Can't have that," he teased, leading her along the hall to their bedroom. Lilly paused outside the nursery, peering in around the door. Scotty frowned.

"Why is she in here?" he questioned softly, and his partner glanced back at him.

"Dr Klein said this morning that it might be easier for all of us if we tried Maddy in her cot. I mean, we're so worried about squishing her, and Dr Klein said it would probably be better in the long run. She said we probably didn't want a four year old still sleeping in our bed, so I set up the baby monitors, and the breathing rate monitors."

He kissed her forehead.

"OK," he said simply. The blonde detective blinked in surprise.

"OK?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. Right," she replied confusedly. Scotty chuckled.

"Lil, if the doc says that's what we should do, an' more importantly if that's what you want, then I'm fine wit' it."

Somewhere along the hall, unresolved lust had started to bubble in the pit of her stomach, and as Scotty shut the bedroom door behind him, Lilly caught his lips in another fierce kiss. He started in surprise, but recovered quickly and pushed her down on the bed.

"I thought all new mothers were supposed to be totally against sex," he murmured, smirking when she unbuttoned his shirt. Lilly grinned, pushing the material from his shoulders.

"I'm the exception," she replied. Chuckling, he helped her remove his vest, followed by his work pants and socks. She breathed a sigh of relief when it was finally skin against skin. Scotty pressed a line of kisses to the corner of her jaw, regretting it the moment he had to pull away.

"Let me go get clean, OK?"

In less time than she thought possible, he was throwing back the sheets and sliding in beside her. Lilly smiled, rolling onto her side so he could lie behind her.

"I missed you today," she said softly. Scotty curled his body around hers, stroking her arm.

"I know what you need," he murmured. Lilly moved her cheek onto his arm, tucking his hand into her stomach.

"Oh really?" she replied teasingly.

"You need..." He kissed his way down her neck, and when he felt her shudder, bit down on her collar bone, "a _release_."

Lilly gasped as his hand moved up to her breast.

"We can't..." she stammered, although the way she arched into his touch totally contradicted her words. Scotty lifted her vest top, taking a nipple between his fingers and squeezing it gently.

"Ten bucks says I can give you what you want without breakin' the rules," he murmured. With his fingers working over her breasts and his tongue causing havoc by her neck, Lilly was surprised that she even managed to reply.

"You're on."

Scotty slid a hand down her body, pausing to caress her slim-again stomach, before working his way between her thighs. Lilly's cry was a mixture of pleasure and relief that he was finally touching her there.

He kissed her again, his lips working her mouth over as if it was the last thing he intended to do. Drawing his hand upwards, Scotty tugged her panties away, pulling them down to her knees.

"This should be fun," he murmured, his voice lost in the curve of her shoulder.

Lilly bit back a groan when his hard chest pressed against hers. His fingers returned to the swollen bud at the apex of her thighs, and he began to roll it between the pad of his thumb and his forefinger. Amidst the waves of pleasure washing over her, the blonde detective noted that not once did he dare dip between her soft folds- following the doctor's orders to the letter.

"God, Scotty..." she gasped.

Her partner chuckled, tugging a hardened nipple between his teeth. Feeling her body tighten beneath him, Scotty kissed his way upwards, eagerly seeking out the spot he knew drove Lilly crazy. He sucked on the spot just below her ear, hard enough to leave a mark, and it was enough to send her soaring over the edge.

As her body trembled with the promise of release, floating on a wave of pleasure, Lilly remembered that she owed him $10.

When she finally stopped convulsing beneath him, Scotty chuckled, releasing her arms and moving her into a comfortable position beside him. Lilly sighed happily, curling into his side with a content smile.

"I'd almost forgotten what that feels like."

Scotty wrapped his arms around her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"You're welcome."

* * *

Lilly tossed a grape at him.

"Stop telling me to go to sleep!" she said. Scotty grinned, rolling onto his front and grabbing the bowl of fruit from her lap.

"Go to sleep."

She leant over for the bowl, glaring when he moved it out of her reach.

"Give me the grapes," she growled menacingly. Scotty shook his head, setting them down on his bedside table.

"Go to sleep."

"You first," Lilly retorted. Scotty laughed.

"I'm not tired," he replied. The blonde detective smirked, and shrugged casually.

"Neither am I."

After a few moments of companionable silence, Lilly looked over at him curiously.

"Hey, you remember that time you came to my house a couple of years ago?"

"Which time?" Scotty questioned with a slight frown.

"The time before...when...with Joseph."

"Ah," her partner said knowingly, his eyes darkening, "that time."

Lilly nudged him.

"Chill out, Rocky. This isn't about him. I just want to know why you were so mad at me," she explained. Scotty chuckled in disbelief.

"You mean 'cept the fact you lied to me?"

"Yeah, except that."

Seeing the smile she was struggling to conceal, Scotty sighed, rolling his eyes.

"I don't know. I guess I jus'...I mean, you nearly threw away your career!"

"That was after I met him," Lilly pointed out.

"Ya still lied to the team, Lil." _And there might have been the little fact that I was..._

"You were jealous!" Lilly exclaimed in realisation. Scotty's mouth fell open. _Yeah, that._

"I was not!"

She giggled, pointing a finger at him.

"You were jealous because I went to see Joseph instead of being with you! Oh, it's all making sense now," she said teasingly.

"I was not jealous! Why would I want to be Joseph?" Scotty protested. Lilly smirked, enjoying watching him squirm.

"And when Ray came back…"

"Now **that** was for your own good."

"I guess that sort of explains why you and Vera have this little competition going on. Who can be more in love with their partner?" she continued, grinning at his growl of frustration.

"Vera an' Miller ain't in love," he protested. Lilly's grin turned into a full laugh.

"If you believe that, then..."

When he didn't reply, she glanced at her partner. Lying on his back beside her, his face was thoughtful, his lips turned down in a slight pout. Lilly studied him with a faint smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

"Why are you laughing at me, woman?" he muttered, not taking his eyes off the ceiling.

"Green really isn't your colour, Scotty," she replied. He looked over at her with narrowed eyes.

"Green?" he questioned grumpily. Lilly laughed- she knew he wasn't really mad. It was more of a wounded pride thing.

"Jealousy, Valens. It doesn't suit you."

Scotty scowled, tugging her down to lie beside him.

"I'm not jealous."

Lilly smirked, and moved to rest her cheek on his chest.

"Yeah, you are," she contradicted.

If possible, his scowl deepened. The woman beside him placed a calming hand on his stomach. His muscles rippled beneath her touch, and Scotty felt his face soften at the soothing strokes of her fingers.

"Is this where I shout rape?" he said. She laughed again.

"No, this is where you say 'You know, Lilly, I am jealous, but I'm too stubborn and pig-headed to admit it because…'"

She was silenced by his lips pressing down on hers. He was surprisingly gentle, and Lilly was glad that she was already horizontal, because her knees trembled and began to go weak. Scotty slid an arm around her waist, and pulled her closer.

"You talk too much," he mumbled. Before he could continue, Maddy's plaintive cry reached their ears. Scotty chuckled, releasing his partner's lips. Lilly giggled happily.

"She definitely has your timing," she teased. Gasping in mock outrage, the male detective tickled her ribs, grinning as she squealed and tried to escape his hands.

"Scotty!" she cried, managing to break free and make it to the other side of the bedroom.

"What?" he said innocently. Lilly pulled on his shirt over her own underwear, laughing at Scotty's undignified attempt with the sheets.

"Come on, Valens. One leg in front of the other..."

She giggled as he lunged for her.

"Quit laughin' at me, Rush," he growled in mock anger. Lilly grinned teasingly, walking into the baby's room. Hearing her parent's footsteps move closer, Maddy's crying quietened, and she blinked.

Lilly lifted her daughter out of the cot, kissing her head.

"You need to sleep, baby," she cooed softly. From behind, Scotty slid his arms around her waist, kissing the smooth skin of her neck.

"She looks like you," he murmured, lifting a hand to stroke Maddy's soft hair. His partner leant back, and gently rocking the baby back and forth, paused to study the child carefully.

"She has your mouth."

Scotty chuckled.

"You can't tell that," he said disbelievingly. Lilly shrugged.

"Sure I can. I'm her mother."

"Right..."

The warmth of her mother's arms and Lilly's steady movements were enough to send Maddy back to sleep, her eyelids drooping and the crease in her brow disappearing. The couple exchanged confused glances.

"That was too easy," Scotty murmured, taking his daughter and settling her back in the cot. They both held their breath, and when Maddy didn't stir, they stared at her in disbelief.

"We have a miracle child," Lilly said in astonishment. Scotty laughed, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Maybe," he agreed, "or maybe she's thinking that the sooner she goes back to sleep, the sooner Mommy and Daddy can get back to giving Maddy a brother or sister."

He managed to get half way down the corridor before Lilly caught him, slapping his shoulder and forcibly pushing him down the corridor.

"I can't believe you said that!" she hissed, fighting back a smile. Scotty grinned.

"Why?"

"Because..." Lilly spluttered, "Because six weeks is a damn long time!"

"Baby, come on!" Scotty said, chuckling as she stomped past him. He jogged after her, catching her wrist and wrapping his arms around her from behind. Lilly sighed in exasperation, thankful that he couldn't see her grin.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, kissing her neck, "I was kiddin'."

"I can't deal with thinking about another baby yet, Scotty."

"I know. I'm sorry," he laughed, "Jus' focus on Six Weeks."

"You're an ass."

* * *

Later, after an hour or so of just talking, Scotty rolled onto his side to look at her.

"I wasn't jealous."

Lilly looked up at him, a teasing smirk hovering around her lips.

"No? Why not?"

"Because I only wanted what was best for you," he said quietly, "an' if you wanted to give you an' Kite, even you an' Ray another go, or if you thought Joseph was 'the one', then I wouldn't have said anythin'."

"Even though you were madly in love with me?" his partner replied with a smile. Scotty chuckled, hugging her closer.

"I wouldn't have said _madly _in love..." he teased. Lilly punched his arm, throwing a leg over his and tugging the sheets over her.

"You can shut up now."

* * *

I hope that satisfied your needs. Or cravings. They both mean the same, right? Anyway...any reviews greatly appreciated! :)


	25. Modern Crusader

A/N So this chapter was almost impossible to write, 'cause I don't do change very well, and this was kinda leading me away from my stomping ground! But I hope it answers a few questions- if it doesn't, and there are questions that are still unanswered by the end of the story, please feel free to message me! OK, also, thanks to everybody who reviewed the last chapter. It's good to know you're still enjoying it! :)

Disclaimer: Writing these is actually fairly depressing. Sniff. I didn't get them as a wedding gift either. Sniff.

* * *

All eyes were fixed on the red-faced pair standing angrily in the middle of the office area. Their colleagues stood to one side, eyes wide and jaws dropping with every insult flung back and forth. The bickering that was exchanged on a daily basis had grown accustomed to, almost to the point of being expected, but this? This was definitely new.

"18 months!" she yelled, "For eighteen months, I let you into our home, into our **lives**, and you can't even get it together for one night!"

Lilly's eyes widened, and she glanced at Scotty.

"Eighteen months?" she echoed in disbelief.

"How did we miss that?" he questioned in confusion. Stillman chuckled.

"I can't believe you're surprised," he said. Lilly gaped at him, her jaw dropping.

"You **knew**?!"

Stillman laughed again.

"Why do you think I was so lenient with you two? I'd already been through the inter-team romances with those two. Not quite as spectacularly as you and Scotty, though."

Vera opened his arms wide, glaring across at his partner.

"I don't get it, Kat! You're like a frickin' circus today!"

"Jesus!" Miller exclaimed, pressing the heel of her palm into her forehead, "I can't believe I let you into my bed!"

Lilly blinked in surprise.

"Whoa," she stated. Manning squeezed her eyes shut.

"Mental picture, mental picture, mental picture..."

Kat took a deep breath.

"You know this means the world to her," she continued quietly, "and you'd rather stay at home and watch the baseball game? Please, Nick."

"I can't!" he said, taking a step towards her, "I made plans an' I'm gonna stick to them!"

Scotty winced.

"He's really diggin' a hole today," he murmured. Lilly nudged him with her elbow.

"You would know," she replied smartly. Manning chuckled, shaking her head at the couple beside her.

"I wonder about you two sometimes."

Miller reached out to rest her hand lightly Vera's chest, the first physical sign of a deeper relationship.

"Veronica wants you there, Nick. **I **want you there."

"An' I wanna go, Kat, but I promised the guys I'd watch the game. You're always tellin' me to stick wit' my original plans."

"And that's the only time you chose to listen to me?" she asked incredulously, "Goddammit!"

Watching from the side, Lilly frowned slightly.

"This is bad," she said, unconsciously taking a step towards her partner. Scotty reassuringly slid a hand down her back.

"Don't freak out on me now, Rush," he whispered, bending down to her ear. Vera shrugged, one of his hands moving to cover Kat's.

"I'll be there next time, OK?" he said, attempting a bargain. Miller shook her head.

"I've never asked anything of you, Nick, until now. This isn't just about missing Veronica's performance."

"Then what is it about?" he asked in genuine confusion. His partner sighed, closing her eyes and silently admitting defeat.

"I can't do this now. I'm gonna be late."

"Can't do what?"

"There is **no **middle ground, Nick!" Miller said, her voice wavering slightly as it hovered between normal volume and shouting, "You're either all in, or all out."

And then there was silence. Ultimatums had never sat well with Lilly, and it made her heart ache to listen to Vera's sharp intake of breath. He blinked in surprise, and Miller seemed to remember where they were.

Blushing bright red, she turned on her heel, all but running out of the bullpen. Vera stared after her in confusion. Snapping himself out of his daze, Vera stormed off, breezing through the gate and disappearing into the men's bathroom. Lilly watched them leave with sadness tainting her deep blue eyes.

"We have to fix this," she said quietly. Scotty nodded, remembering all the times their two colleagues had helped with his relationship with Lilly.

"You go to Nick, I'll go to K..."

Manning cleared her throat.

"It might be best if you let Kat get her coat first. Give her five minutes."

"Why?" Scotty asked in confusion.

"I have a feeling she hates anything with a Y chromosome right now," Lilly pointed out. Scotty chuckled.

"You win. Lil, you got Vera?"

"Oh, I got Vera," she agreed, gently handing Maddy to Ellie before taking the same path her burly colleague had taken. Manning felt a soft smile break across her face as the baby gurgled contentedly.

"Come on, baby girl. You and me have a job to do."

* * *

Lilly let the bathroom door shut behind her. _Why is it __**always **__the bathroom? __**Always. **_Vera glared at her in the mirror, resting his palms either side of the sink.

"You blind or somethin'?" he snapped, gesturing to the urinals that easily identified it as the men's bathroom. She shrugged.

"Or something."

"I don't wanna talk about it," he muttered. Lilly scoffed, hopping up onto the counter beside him.

"Oh, please. Don't give me that crap. I invented that crap."

Vera sighed heavily, knowing his colleague well enough to be certain that she wasn't leaving.

"Am I wrong?"

"Yes," Lilly replied bluntly. His scowl deepened.

"So you're sidin' wit' Miller?"

"I never said that, and don't you think you're beyond calling her 'Miller'?"

After a few moments of silence, Lilly cleared her throat.

"I'm going to tell you a story..." she began. Vera groaned.

"Please, Lil. I ain't in the mood."

"Shut up and listen..."

* * *

Outside the police building, Scotty was having trouble keeping up with his colleague. Breaking into a sudden sprint, he caught Miller's elbow, pulling her to a halt.

"Will you just stop a minute?" he demanded breathlessly. Miller glared at him.

"Whatever you want to say to me, say it quick. I'm already late."

"I know, an' I get that this ain't been a good day for you, but hear me out, OK?"

There was something in the way he was practically begging her to stay that held Miller in place. She sighed, folding her arms, motioning for Scotty to continue.

"You remember how many times you and Nick have talked some sense into me an' Lil?"

"How could I forget?" she retorted bitterly. He nodded.

"So let us help with this. He really loves you, you know."

"Whatever."

"Eighteen months, right? You think he woulda stuck around that long for anyone?"

"He stuck around that long for Toni," she replied. Scotty chuckled.

"Yeah, because you weren't available! Nick ain't that smart, but come on, Kat! I thought **you** were smarter than that. Look at Toni. Single mom wit' a teenage kid?"

Miller was silent for a moment. When he didn't go on, she sighed heavily.

"Are you done?" she snapped.

"Jus' listen, OK?"

He took a deep breath, and Miller tried not to roll her eyes._ Great. Advice from Casanova. Just what I always wanted._

"I think you're scared."

Now THAT she had not been expecting.

"Excuse me?"

"I think you're scared o' lettin' anyone see how bad you've got it for Vera," Scotty continued, "'cause God help her if anyone sees Kat Miller vulnerable."

She laughed in disbelief.

"You are so full of shit, Valens! You and Lil don't exactly have the easiest relationship!"

"No," he agreed quietly, "but at least I didn't give up at the first sign o' trouble."

He could tell he had hit home, because a flicker of pain danced across her face before disappearing.

"You wanted to," Miller accused. Scotty nodded, his hand moving to rest gently on her shoulder.

"But I didn't. And did ya ever think that maybe that's why I might be right? That maybe this time I know what I'm talkin' about, jus' because I didn't give up?"

That silence was back, dark and oppressive.

"Can I go now?" Miller said softly, defeated and confused with the truths her colleague had just thrown at her. Scotty nodded, removing his hand.

"Jus' do me a favour, alright? Give him a chance."

* * *

_Vera leant against the wall beside her. Lilly opened an eye to stare at him. He sighed heavily._

"_When are you gonna wake up an' smell the bacon?" he said. Lilly opened both eyes incredulously._

"_Excuse me?"_

_Vera shrugged._

"_Stop thinkin' he's gonna leave you, Rush. Valens ain't goin' nowhere." She chuckled darkly._

"_I am __**not **__getting relationship advice from you," she muttered disbelievingly. Vera continued._

"_I'm guessin' that whatever has you headin' for the hills...it's got something to do with whatever Miller knows that the rest of us don't?"_

_Lilly heard her breath catch._

"_Miller said anything to you?" she asked guardedly. The burly detective chuckled._

"_Nah, Lil. Your secret's still secret."_

_At her sigh of relief, Vera shook his head._

"_You gotta stop thinkin' you ain't worth it, Lil. Stop runnin' from whatever the hell it is that you're runnin' from."_

"...and that's when the princess realized that the humble manservant wasn't such an ass, and actually did have feelings."

At her satisfied tone, Vera shook his head.

"You really gotta stop hangin' out with kids, Lilly."

Lilly chuckled.

"Look, the way I see it, you can do two things. You can pull a Lilly, and stay here like the idiot you think you are, or you can go get your coat."

"Pull a Lilly?" he questioned doubtfully. She rolled her eyes.

"Go get your damn coat."

"Do we have time?" Vera asked in concern, glancing at his watch, "I don't even have a ticket."

By the smirk spreading from Lilly's lips, he knew that everything would be OK, but couldn't help the dread that began to bubble in the pit of his stomach whenever his blonde colleague got an idea into her head. Lilly's ideas had the history of getting people in trouble.

Or shot.

* * *

I'm sorry it's so short! Originally, this chapter and the next one were all stuffed in together, but it got to like, 10 pages, so I kinda had to split into two! :) Please leave a review on your way out! You know it makes me happy!


	26. A Fine, Fine Line

A/N OMG, the penultimate chapter! Gasp. Anyway, this picks up pretty much straight after the previous chapter, so if you haven't already, read that one first. And for the purposes of this story, Veronica is 13 going on 21! ;) And just for later on in the chapter, the song is 'Seasons Of Love' from the musical RENT, in which Tracie Thoms' character Joanne sings the solo. You should YouTube it. Really. No, seriously, go and YouTube it!

Disclaimer: I am ashamed to admit that neither Cold Case or RENT belong to me.

* * *

She couldn't remember the last time she had been this confused. Maybe it had been when she was pregnant with Veronica- questioning her life, her career, her child.

Now she was questioning all of those again, but wondering how much difference Nick Vera could make.

The hall was almost full, the occasional spare seat breaking up the audience. Directly behind Miller, about half way up the auditorium, a row of seats remained empty, small white cards declaring them 'RESERVED'.

A rumour had gone around saying that talent scouts were coming. That must be who the seats were for.

Up on the stage, Veronica took a deep breath, her eyes scanning the rows of people. She knew something was wrong- in the brief moment they had together before her mother took her seat, Veronica could tell that her mother was hurting. Mrs Granger was halfway through her speech. Both Veronica and Kat realized they really should have been listening. But they weren't- they were both wondering how long it took to get from the Philly PD precinct to the school.

And then Miller shook her head. He wasn't coming.

From her seat in the audience, she smiled proudly at the sight of her daughter sitting with her friends. Her little baby was growing up. Veronica took her another lungful of air as the principal finished her introduction.

"So, ladies and gentlemen, to open the evening..."

Just as Veronica stood up with the rest of her singing group, the door at the back of the auditorium swung open.

"Move it, fatass!"

Veronica froze, looking to her mother in concern. Miller spun around, watching as another teacher led Vera and Jeffries up the aisle to the row of reserved seats behind her. Nick smiled sheepishly.

"These seats taken?" he said. Miller shook her head, her face showing a mixture of astonishment and gratitude. _So __**that's **__who the seats were reserved for..._

This had Rush written all over it.

Veronica felt her heart leap at the encouraging wink Vera shot in her direction. A quiet voice caught her attention, causing her eyes to snap to the door once again.

"I swear, Scotty, if you ask me one more time..."

The young girl grinned, watching Stillman and Scotty move down the aisle to sit with their colleagues. Lilly followed behind them, Maddy hugged close against her chest. The blonde detective smiled reassuringly, and seeing her makeshift family sitting in the audience, Veronica felt happiness rise up in her chest.

The principal cleared her throat, and eyeing the detectives coldly, continued with her speech.

"So let us begin. Please welcome the school's Vocal Coordination group."

Scotty scoffed in disbelief, leaning into Lilly.

"What the hell is Vocal Co-ordination?" he asked in confusion. His partner giggled.

"I think it's a fancy way of saying it's the choir."

**Five hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes**

**Five hundred, twenty-five thousand moments so dear**

**Five hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes**

**How do you measure, measure a year?**

**  
****In daylights, in sunsets**

**In midnights, in cups of coffee**

**In inches, in miles**

**In laughter and strife  
**

**  
In five hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes**

**How do you measure a year in the life?**

He knew he was staring. He shouldn't, but he couldn't help it. Scotty let his eyes trail over the figure to his left, his heart warming at the sight of his girlfriend sitting beside him. Maddy lay asleep in her arms, and when the weight of his gaze landed on her face, Lilly shifted in her seat.

"What?" she murmured uncomfortably. Scotty just shook his head, leaning in to press a soft kiss to her lips. When he pulled back, Lilly raised a hand to his cheek, frowning slightly.

"What's the matter?"

He shook his head again, sliding his hand into hers.

"I love you so much," he whispered. Lilly tangled her fingers around his, and felt a smile spread from the corner of her mouth.

"I love you too."

**How about love?**

**How about love?**

**How about love?**

**Measure in love**

Stillman was watching them from the corner of his eye, knowing without ever actually knowing that they would be OK. They hadn't had an easy ride, but the lieutenant was certain that this time Lilly and Scotty were on a road that could only lead to happiness.

Letting his eyes wander to the right, Stillman couldn't help but chuckle at the contentment on his other detective's face. He remembered being surprised (shocked, really- he could have sworn they hated each other) when Vera and Miller came to see him.

It was just after Lilly's shooting, when they had finally realized that life was too short to continue lying to their friends. Yes, that had definitely been a surprising day.

**Seasons of love**

**Seasons of love.**

Veronica took a deep breath to sing, knowing that she'd fail if she so much as glanced down at her family. She'd worked for this, practised everyday, and this was it.

Her chance to shine.

**Five hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes**

**Five hundred, twenty-five thousand journeys to plan**

**Five hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes**

**How do measure the life of a woman or a man?**

She breathed a sigh of relief as the boy a few people down started to sing. The first bit was done. Now she just had to blow their minds.

**In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried**

**In bridges he burned, or the way that she died.**

There was a reason Jeffries had hated this musical, and now he remembered why- his wife had loved it. She had loved the meaning behind the words, the underlying story that was woven into each song.

Filing the sadness away for another time, another day, he looked around at his family. That's what they were, he realized. A dysfunctional, yet devoted, family.

Victor Hugo once said that 'The great acts of love are done by those who are habitually performing small acts of kindness. We pardon to the extent that we love. Love is knowing that even when you are alone, you will never be lonely again.'

And no matter how much the team made him happy, made him realize that he had a life to live, Jeffries would always love his wife.

**It's time now to sing out**

**Though our story never ends**

**Let's celebrate, remember a year**

**In the life of friends**

**  
Remember the love**

**(Oh you got to, you got to remember the love!)**

**Remember the love**

**(You know that love is a gift from up above)**

**Remember the love**

**(Share love, give love, pray in love) **

**Remember the love**

Veronica took a deep breath, her eyes closing as she prepared for the make or break moment.

**Measure, measure your life in love**

At the ridiculously high note, a shiver seemed to run through the audience, before they burst into applause. The Cold Case squad were on their feet, cheering and clapping like their lives depended on it.

If she had been looking, Veronica was fairly certain she would have died of embarrassment.

Miller was glued to her seat. Vera leant forward, resting his hands on her shoulders, and whispering in her ear.

"Did you know she could do that?" he asked, pride evident in his voice.

"No," Kat replied, stunned. Somehow, they had missed the end of the song, and it was the only enthusiastic applause that managed to draw Miller out of her shock. The principal stood up, a broad smile pasted on her face.

"Thanks to the..."

"Vocal Co-ordination Group," Scotty muttered distastefully, leaning towards his partner. Lilly fought back a laugh, squeezing his hand.

"Shut up and enjoy the rest of the show."

* * *

"Why didn't I know you could do that?" Miller demanded, her daughter's hand held in her own. Veronica rolled her eyes.

"I already told you, Mom. I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Well, it worked!" Kat muttered, pushing open the main doors. At the sound of the doors opening, Scotty turned, grinning at his colleague and her daughter.

"An' presentin' for one night only! Veronica Miller an' the Vocal Co-ordination Group!"

"You're going to be one of those really embarrassing fathers, aren't you?" Lilly questioned warily. Veronica laughed, gladly accepting Scotty's quick hug.

"So what did you think?" she asked.

"You were impressive," the male detective said honestly, "Really impressive, actually."

Lilly touched the girl on her back, bending down to whisper in her ear.

"I think Nick could use a hug," she hinted. Veronica nodded understandingly, and quickly wrapped her arms around him.

"Hey, Nick," she said brightly, looking up at him. Vera smiled a smile that they had never seen before, and seeing it, Lilly felt all warm and fuzzy inside, and then the burly detective pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I'm proud o' you."

Scotty grinned victoriously at his partner, wiggling his eyebrows. Stillman shook his head at the antics of his team, shifting Maddy in his arms.

"They really do make me wonder why I still do this job," he muttered. Jeffries chuckled.

"But you wouldn't have them any other way."

Vera cleared his throat awkwardly, carefully extricating himself from Veronica's arms.

"Kat, can I, uh...?"

Stillman and Jeffries exchanged knowing glances, and with an amused smirk, the lieutenant chuckled, cradling Maddy in the crook of his elbow.

"Come on, Ron. Ice-cream all around, I think," he suggested, watching Vera and Miller walking out of hearing range.

Lilly watched them with a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth, linking her arm through Scotty's. Veronica caught the blonde detective's hand, pulling the couple along the street towards the ice-cream parlour.

"Come on, you guys!"

Jeffries chuckled, walking beside Stillman whilst looking down at the baby.

"Kid definitely has your eyes, Lil," he said. Scotty hugged Lilly towards him, kissing the top of her head.

"Big, blue and beautiful?"

His partner arched an eyebrow, looking up at him suspiciously.

"What have you done with Scotty?"

* * *

It seemed the entire Vocal Co-ordination group and their families had gathered at the small ice-cream parlour just down the street. Kissing Maddy on the forehead, Lilly handed the baby to her boss.

"She'll need feeding any time soon, so come find me, OK?"

"I'm perfectly capable of giving a baby a bottle, Lilly," Stillman replied, "Maddy isn't my first grandchild, you know."

She rolled her eyes.

"Yes, and I'm sure Janie appreciated your assistance. Just please let me know?"

"Go bug Scotty, Lil," Jeffries said, nudging his blonde colleague towards her partner. Lilly narrowed her eyes at him, wrinkling her nose and heading off in search of her boyfriend.

Lilly found him sitting on a stool at the counter, a chocolate sundae standing in front of him. Giggling slightly, she swiped her finger through the cream, quickly sticking her finger into her mouth.

"Hey!" he protested, "Get your own!"

"Why? I have yours."

He laughed, pushing the glass towards her. Lilly took another spoonful of cream, smirking at the three people standing by the door. She leant down to whisper in Scotty's ear.

"Look who just turned up."

He sat back to see, and felt her hands drop down to his shoulder. Tyler spotted them first, a broad grin splitting his face.

"Lilly!" he shouted, letting go of his mother's hand to run across.

"Hey, Ty," she replied, quickly dropping to her knees to catch him. His eyes were wide in excitement, and he hopped anxiously from one foot to the other.

"Lilly, Lilly, come meet my dad!"

Lilly smirked at Manning's awkward shuffle of her feet. Dean (Lilly assumed the guy standing with Ellie was Dean- the resemblance between father and son really was uncanny) cleared his throat.

"Buddy, I have to go. Daddy's got to..."

"Stay."

Scotty fought back a laugh at the surprise on the faces of both Manning and Dean. Ellie felt heat rise in her cheeks. _Where did that come from?_ As if she could hear the internal discussion, Lilly raised her eyebrows, Tyler's hand still held in hers. Manning's blush deepened, and she coughed nervously.

"I mean, only if you want to. Don't leave because of..." Her voice trailed off. Kissing Lilly quickly, Scotty stood up, easily stepping in to save his floundering colleague.

"Hey," he greeted, extending a hand, "Scotty Valens."

"Dean. Dean Hadley," the other man replied, smiling slightly.

"Come on, man," Scotty said, "let me get you a drink. Manning, you comin'?"

Manning rolled her eyes.

"Can you not call me Manning here? Please?" she begged. Scotty smirked.

"I'm sorry. Are you comin', **Ellie**?"

As Scotty led them away, Lilly felt a hand come to rest on her shoulder. Hiding a smile, she turned, arching a questioning eyebrow at Miller. The curly haired detective cleared her throat.

"I just wanted to say thank you," she said quietly. Lilly smirked, shrugging nonchalantly.

"For what?"

Miller chuckled in understanding, and with a nod of her head, glanced over to Manning and her companions.

"So what do you think is going on with them?" she asked. Lilly's smirk grew.

"I'm not sure," she admitted, "but check out his hand."

Miller's eyes darted to the small of Ellie's back, where Dean was resting his palm. She smiled.

"Ah."

"Exactly," Lilly agreed. A voice behind them coughed slightly, and they turned to see Nick Vera behind them, his hands shoved unceremoniously into his pockets.

"You're kid's gettin' hungry, Rush," he said. Miller chuckled. Lilly rolled her eyes, standing up and patting him on the shoulder as she passed.

"Real subtle, Nicky."

* * *

Having gone to retrieve Maddy just in time to see her spit up over Stillman's jacket, Lilly and her daughter beat a hasty retreat. They slid into the booth opposite Veronica, two pairs of blue eyes studying the young girl critically.

"What's up?" Lilly asked bluntly. Veronica shrugged, knowing there was no point in lying to the ridiculously perceptive woman.

"Stuff."

"Stuff...you want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

Lilly was silent for a moment.

"You know, if you're worried about your mom and Nick...I think they'll be OK."

"Yeah?" Veronica questioned doubtfully.

"I think so."

The girl grinned, and Maddy gurgled happily.

"Good. Hey, you know they've started another pool?" she said. Lilly sighed, scowling in discontent.

"What is it this time?"

"How old Maddy will be when you and Scotty finally get married."

"Have you been talking to Scotty's mother?"

Veronica frowned.

"No...why?"

"Never mind," Lilly said hastily. Veronica nodded, and changed the subject anyway.

"So what did you **really **think?"

"I told you I thought it was great," the blonde detective replied in confusion.

"Yeah, but I never know whether you're lying or not."

Lilly hugged Veronica towards her.

"You really were amazing. And I don't even like musicals."

The girl laughed.

"Thanks. But it wasn't all me. It was a team effort," she said. Lilly smirked knowingly, holding Maddy against her chest, upright and facing outwards.

"So who was the boy singing the other solo?" she teased. Veronica blushed, a bright pink stain creeping over her cheeks.

"Darren Dale. He's a tenth grader."

Lilly nodded thoughtfully.

"Veronica Dale. I like it. I mean, what's not to like? All that..."

"Lil!"

"...chocolate skin, soft dark eyes..."

"LILLY!"

The blonde detective laughed, gently stroking the tiny fist closed around her finger as Maddy gurgled happily.

"Does he know you like him?" she asked. Veronica's blush deepened, and she shrugged.

"Like he'd be interested in me."

Lilly arched a delicate eyebrow.

"How do you know?"

"I just do. He's not interested."

"So why's he heading this way?" the detective whispered, standing up and sliding out of the booth.

"You're worse than my mother," Veronica hissed, pasting a smile on her face just as Darren appeared beside her. The blonde detective laughed.

"Oh, you have **no** idea."

* * *

Just to clarify, everything that Tracie Thoms sang in the movie version of RENT (I told you to YouTube it!), Veronica sang here, because that movie and Tracie Thoms are totally underrated! OK, now I've got that out of my system...if you've got a chance, please leave me a review! I guess you're probably all on vacation, right? But please, even a couple of words is great. I really do enjoy reading them!


	27. Epilogue

A/N So here we are, you guys. The chapter in which everything must come to an end. I normally try to avoid epilogues, because then I get sucked into writing a whole other story, but I **had **to do this one, because I am fully aware that there is something I purposely didn't answer/do. Hence the epilogue! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: For the final time (until I start something new!), I don't own the main cast of Cold Case, or any events which the actual characters have experienced. It's all just my imagination! :)

**

* * *

**

One Year Later

"Gampa!"

Stillman turned, a broad smile splitting his face. The tiny blonde limpet attached itself to his leg raised an arm, and without hesitating, he picked her up.

"Hey there, little one. How are you today?"

Maddy babbled on unintelligibly, sucking on her fist while she spoke. Stillman kissed her forehead, and settled the child more comfortably on his hip.

"Baby, **please** don't eat your hand."

Chuckling at the familiar voice from behind him, the lieutenant turned just in time to see Lilly swoop in and retrieve Maddy from his arms.

"Is this the latest development?" he asked in amusement. The blonde detective nodded, pressing a kiss to her daughter's forehead.

"She's one. _Everything_ goes into her mouth! She's worse than Vera."

Maddy tugged on her mother's sleeve.

"Down!" she commanded, and Stillman chuckled at the familiar tone of voice. Lilly nodded.

"Kiss Mommy," she said, smiling when she received a wet kiss to her cheek. Maddy wriggled some more, until Lilly reluctantly set the little girl down on her feet.

They watched her head off, her footsteps cautious but unhesitant, arms outstretched. As Maddy stopped beside Manning's desk, captivated by the small engagement ring now present on the young detective's finger, Ellie smiled down at her.

"What's up?"

Maddy babbled a reply, unintelligible to anyone besides Scotty and his partner. Lilly sighed heavily.

"My baby's growing up too fast," she said sadly. Stillman patted her gently on the shoulder.

"No, she's not. She's just growing up."

* * *

All he had wanted to do was sit at his desk with his coffee. And his tub of bite-sized donuts. But no. The gods were against him. Even his relaxation time had to be disturbed.

"Go away," he said gruffly, earning nothing but a grin from the tiny person clambering onto his knee.

Vera eyed her warily. Maddy struggled for a moment, his pants too slippery for her to get hold of. She hesitated, looking up at him with big blue eyes (Vera made a mental note to 'thank' Rush for passing on her most powerful tool), and waited.

After a minute of staring her down, Vera rolled his eyes, lifting her onto his knee. Maddy patted his cheek, smiling and chattering away. The burly detective nodded along sensibly, occasionally offering the tub of mini donuts.

Her tiny fingers fumbled for a single one, and Vera helped her out, breaking it into pieces.

"What? You can't even do that? What kinda baby are you?" he muttered, raising a piece to her mouth. The little girl reached eagerly for his face, but leant too far forward, and it was by the grace of Vera's quick reflexes that Maddy didn't end up on the floor.

Seeing her startled expression, Vera chuckled slightly, hugging her against him.

"It's OK, little Peanut," he reassured, "you're OK."

"Down?" Maddy asked in a small voice, a frown creasing her brow.

"Nope. Only if you want to."

Her face split into a smile that instantly reminded Vera of Lilly, and he shook his head in wonder.

"You're really somethin', kid," he said softly. She raised a hand to his cheek, animatedly chatting away until her eyelids began to droop. Feeling her release a soft sigh, Vera glanced down just in time to catch Maddy's sleepy yawn.

As he was about to stand up, Scotty appeared beside him, his coat shining with tiny droplets of water. He shrugged off his damp jacket, hastily rolling up the sleeves of his shirt.

"I got her, man."

Scotty smiled as he lifted his drowsy daughter off Vera's lap. Maddy lifted her head.

"Dada!" she said happily, livening up now that there was someone new around. He kissed her forehead.

"Hey, baby girl," he replied. Maddy giggled, her hand rubbing against the slight stubble on his chin. She yawned again, and Vera nodded.

"I was about to go get Rush. Kid's way past her nap time."

The younger man grinned.

"You sure you don't wanna keep her wit' you?" he teased. Vera narrowed his eyes, obviously wanting to reply sharply, but fully aware of the young ears within hearing range.

"Hey, you get anythin' from the vic's wife?" Miller said, coming to a stop beside them. Scotty shook his head, pulling a funny face at his daughter.

"Nope. Says he had no enemies."

"You know it's really hard to take you seriously when you're makin' faces?" Miller teased. Her friend rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Maddy. We know when we're not wanted."

Miller chuckled.

"Oh, Lil wanted me to remind you that it's nap time."

"I'm not tired, Kat," Scotty replied, "but thanks for askin'."

"For Maddy, moron."

* * *

Scotty shifted his position on the sofa, feeling Maddy nestle into the softness of his shirt.

"An' the Prince was feelin' happy, because it was his birthday," he said softly, "an' he got to spend the _whole _day with the Princess Lilly, the most beautiful princess in the entire world."

Maddy stared up at him, her breaths soft and even.

"Princess Lilly was the best thing in the prince's world, so when he got to the castle that mornin', he wanted to surprise her," he continued, lightly tickling his daughter's stomach, "He snuck up behind her, an' the Princess suddenly threw herself at him."

"I did not _throw _myself at you," came the voice from behind him, and Scotty turned his head, smirking.

"I distinctly remember you throwin' yourself at me."

"Liar," Lilly said as she moved around in front of them.

"Don't interrupt," Scotty chided gently, "I'm tellin' the story."

Rolling her eyes, Lilly sat down on the sofa beside him. Maddy crawled into her mother's lap, and with a fist returning to her mouth, she tucked her head under Lilly's chin.

"So anyway, Prince Casanova caught the beautiful Princess before she knocked them both over, an' the Princess whimpered in..."

"I did not whimper!" Lilly exclaimed in outrage.

"Ssh," Scotty reprimanded, reaching over to smooth a strand of honey-colored hair from his daughter's face. Maddy giggled sleepily, snuggling further into her mother.

"The Princess whimpered in surprise, 'cause she thought that Prince Casanova was the handsomest..."

"Pig-headed."

"Most handsome, bravest, kindest man that the Princess knew," Scotty continued, completely ignoring his partner's addition to the tale. Lilly rolled her eyes, hiding a smirk in her daughter's soft blonde hair.

"That's what you think," she muttered. Maddy's breathing slowed, and Scotty leant over to kiss her head.

"An' they all lived happily ever after," he finished, his voice barely above a whisper. Lilly smiled softly, leaning back to look down at the sleeping child.

"She's gone."

Scotty nodded, one of his hands drifting to the curve of her neck. Lilly tilted her head into his touch.

"That was a good story," she murmured. He chuckled.

"I liked it."

"I love you," she said, moving Maddy's small body closer into her. Her partner nodded.

"Love you too, Lil."

Lilly stood up then, lifting Maddy with her. The baby stirred, her grip tightening on her mother's shirt.

"I think I'm gonna go put her down in Boss' office, OK?"

"Sure. Hey, you wanna look over this case file?"

She rolled her eyes.

"You sure know how to charm a girl, Scotty."

* * *

Vera glanced up from his paperwork, looking across the desks to the blonde detective.

"Hey, Lil. You started thinkin' about schools yet?" he asked. Lilly frowned, shaking her head.

"Sort of. Why?"

"I hear all the best places have got a real long waitin' list. An' we all know you don't like waiting."

She shrugged off the veiled insult, smirking.

"We already have her on the waiting list for three pre-K schools within a two mile radius of PPD," she replied, "but we haven't talked about anything after that."

"Have you decided which surname you're gonna put on the application form?" Miller teased. Scotty grinned, wrapping an arm around his partner's shoulders.

"Maddy R..."

"Valens," Lilly interrupted, "Maddy Valens."

The male detective frowned in confusion.

"But I thought..." She nudged him with her elbow, standing up on tiptoes to whisper in his ear.

"Do you really want to propose to me in front of all these people?"

His breath hitched, knowing that he was the only one that had heard.

"You mean...?" he asked quietly. Lilly nodded seriously, pulling back to meet his confused gaze. A whole conversation was exchanged without words, until the blonde detective finally opened her mouth.

"I'm not pretending to be asleep this time, Scotty."

She slid past him to walk into the break room. Blinking, Scotty hurried after her. The team watched as he caught her wrist, tugging her into a fierce kiss. Vera arched an eyebrow.

"Thought the hormones were meant to stop?"

When the couple finally broke apart, red-faced and wearing matching grins, Lilly planted a quick kiss on his lips before turning away to get a freshly woken Maddy. The team raised eyebrows in amusement as Scotty staggered back into the bullpen.

"What was that about?" Jeffries asked curiously. The younger detective was silent for a moment. He looked around at them all, grinning like a fool.

"I think I just got engaged."

"Well, then I guess you might be needing this," Stillman said quietly, extending his arm.

Scotty felt his smile fade as he took the small black box. He stared at it, like it was suddenly about to explode in his hand. Seeing the doubt on his face, Miller reassuringly wrapped her arm around his back.

"Let me see."

He opened the box, his fingers trembling against the velvet. Miller couldn't help but smile. The ring was simple, nothing overly fancy, just a silver band, and two small diamonds either side of a slightly larger blue topaz.

It was Lilly all over.

Manning leant over his other shoulder, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.

"You know what they mean?" she asked quietly. Scotty shook his head, his eyes fixed on the ring. Miller squeezed his waist.

"Topaz means fidelity. Trust, honesty," she explained as she moved opposite him.

"And diamonds mean eternity," Stillman finished. Jeffries chuckled at the dazed expression on his colleague's face.

"Create a moment, Scotty. Remember?"

"I remember."

"She's comin'," Vera muttered, and Scotty hid the ring in his pocket. Standing in the doorway, a semi-awake Maddy in her arms, Lilly frowned in suspicion, but didn't say anything.

"What's going on?"

"Nothin'," Scotty replied casually, and she believed him.

At least he thought she did.

"OK..." Lilly said, turning on her heel and moving towards the chair at her desk. Scotty hurried after her, and the other five pushed each other out of the way in their haste to get the best viewing spot for what they knew was about to unfold.

Scotty took a deep breath.

"Hey, Lil?"

She turned back at the sound of his voice. He knelt down on one knee, grinning infuriatingly and chuckling as her cheeks began to glow bright red. Lilly shifted, shuffling her feet uncomfortably.

"You don't have to do this, you know," she muttered in embarrassment, knowing without looking that everybody's eyes were on her. Scotty's smile faded, and he nodded.

"I know. I'm jus'...I just wanted to do it right, Lil." He took a breath. "I though o' so many different ways I could do this. Should I do the dinner, roses, champagne? Or should I do it with flower petals on our bed when ya got home?"

Lilly stared at him, tears pricking the back of her eyes. She noted that her colleagues had all of the exits covered. _Guess I'm not getting out of this so easily..._

"Say it," she breathed. Scotty stood up, moving towards her, their eyes locked together. He lifted a hand to her cheek, sliding his fingers backwards through her hair.

"Marry me," he whispered, his other arm sliding around her waist.

She squeezed her eyes shut, and for a horrifying moment, the people around her thought she would run. And then she smiled, her eyes still closed, and nodded.

"Yes."

* * *

It was later, when the department had started to empty, that Lilly finally got a moment to think. She loved Scotty, there was no question over that, and she had agreed to marry him. OK, so it had technically been her proposal ("It seemed like a good idea at the time!"), and Lilly didn't regret that, but...there was just something.

This was it, she realized suddenly. This was who she had become, who she had grown into. These were the people who brought her to life, put her back together when it looked like she wasn't going to make it. They were her family, and it had only taken her seven years to realize it.

A soft smile spread from her lips as she looked around: Vera having his cheeks poked by tiny fingers, Jeffries chuckling at his friend, with the red Elmo in his lap, Miller and Manning looking over the latest pictures of Veronica and Tyler...and then Stillman, keeping an ever watchful (and ridiculously over-protective) eye on the child babbling away.

A familiar warmth radiated from her heart outwards, and Lilly folded her arms over her chest. Maddy looked up suddenly, sending her mother a sunny grin.

"Mamma...dada!" she exclaimed brightly, clapping her hands together.

Smiling, Lilly tensed for a second as a pair of arms tightened around her waist, but feeling a kiss land behind her ear, relaxed into her partner's chest. Scotty hugged her back against him.

"What are you thinking about?" he murmured. His partner shrugged, fiddling with the ring on her finger.

"Just thinking."

They stood like that for a while, just watching their daughter and enjoying the closeness. After a moment, Lilly looked up at him, and then let her eyes return to Maddy.

"I wish all the people in the world could have somebody," she said softly. Scotty rubbed her arms, resting his chin on the top of her head.

"Somebody?"

"Somebody like us."

* * *

OMG I'M SO SAD! There are actual tears in my eyes. So that's all folks!

The End.

Thanks SO much to everybody who has reviewed:

hopefan91, oucellogal, lulubell6, Banana7Pancakes, PatryTrusky, ViolaLucien, LME, cyn23, Ebony10, fbi-woman, karizmadreamer, Rhonda Roo, wolfeylady, fiesa, 26hannah26, A Rainbow In Grey Scale, SparklingAngel819, Organic-Fruit, geminigurl89, Tallie14, csifan35, ..X, caleric123, and yasminbanu786.

If I've forgotten anyone, I'm truly sorry, but know you all made me very happy with your reviews!

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